Your Guide To Jason & Jeremy London (AKA Which One Pooped In A Cop Car?)

BREAKING: Jeremy London and Jason London are two different people.

They are identical twins, yes. And they used to look a lot alike, in a fairly dashing, 1990s way:

These days, they look markedly less identical:

But they remain, as ever, TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE.

JASON London was arrested a few days ago for brawling with a bouncer at a bar:

He also pooped his pants in a cop car. As one does.

He did it on purpose because he was mad at the cops, though pooping your own pants isn’t quite the I’LL SHOW YOU z-snap formation he was probably going for.

He has since denied that he hit anyone (no comment on…the other thing) and released photos to TMZ that do seem to support his version of events, which is that he was “jumped” for no real reason by several bouncers and severely beat up, and never threw a single punch. You can see those photos here, though be forewarned, they are not pretty. The investigation is ongoing.

The biggest takeaway from this story, however, is that nobody — NOBODY — knows which London brother they are talking about, ever.

Even in the age of IMDB and Wikipedia, identical twins with similar names are still a fact-checking nightmare, apparently. Multiple news stories about the incident originally referred to Jason as Jeremy (some remain uncorrected), or got Jason’s name right but credited him with roles his brother played, and the comment sections are full of people arguing over which brother was in Dazed and Confused and which one was in Party of Five, no it was the same brother, no it wasn’t, for the love of God can somebody please open up IMDB in another tab and report back, THANKS.

Poor Jeremy’s Google ranking is getting all kinds of screwed up this week, y’all.

So as a public service, I have gone and done just that, and am here to put all your confusion over the Brothers London to rest:

This is JEREMY London. As in, the one who definitely did not poop his pants in a cop car. (This week, anyway. But we’ve still got the weekend!) However, one must wonder if his brother’s antics are simply some Google-karma payback for 2010, when Jeremy claimed to have been kidnapped and forced to buy and “smoke drugs” at gunpoint. His own family joined the Internet in our collective REALLY?! With Seth & Amy. Sadly, he did not ever share photos with TMZ backing up his side of the story, but one of the dudes involved was eventually charged with false imprisonment. Jeremy later appeared on Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew, along with his wife.

Jeremy London was the J. London in Mallrats, Party of Five and 7th Heaven. If you are wondering if he was ever arrested for anything and decide to search for “Jeremy London mugshot,” you will get this picture like, a million times:

WHOMP WHOMP.

Jeremy London has never been arrested for anything, but just try telling that to the search engine gods.

This is JASON London. He is the one who quite very possibly pooped his pants in a cop car this week and told the police the following:

“Guess what fa**ot? I f***ing love this. I f***ing own you guys so hard. I’m rich and I’m a motherf***ing famous actor! F***ing look me up, bitch. It smells like s**t in your car and your breath smells like diarrhea.”

Yes, LOOK HIM UP, bitch! He’s a motherfucking famous actor who was in…wait. Not Mallrats or Party of Five, so okay. Hold on.

JASON is the J.London who is best known for Dazed and Confused and not much else. (Though I personally should remember him for playing Bobby Ray in To Wong Foo, Thanks For Everything! Julie Newmar and getting eaten by a tractor in The Man in the Moon. COOOOUUUURRT NOOOOO!!!)

I hope this has been helpful and educational, and that you will briefly remember which J.Lon bro is which for a few brief minutes. As for why you should care, I cannot honestly answer that. I just really wanted to write about somebody pooping in a cop car.

Source, Source, Source, Source

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