Kids these days, man! So ambitious! If not slightly misguided!
A 12-year-old boy from the Los Angeles area has officially been charged in connection to a “swatting” incident at Ashton Kutcher‘s super-swank celebrity home. (For those of you of the middle-aged-with-children era, apparently “swatting” refers to a false report of violent activity which would result in a SWAT team or other tactical-response group being dispatched to the scene. Yes, I had to Google that. No, I’m not ashamed.)
When police arrived, they ended up holding some poor groundskeepers at gunpoint before realizing they’d been HAD.
SWARM! SWARM! SWARM!
The incident, which took place in October, lead to the boy’s arrest in December, and is part of a string of “swatting” calls that have been made around LA county. Other celebrity homes that have been involved include the Kardashian-Jenners, Miley Cyrus, and Simon Cowell.
The fake distress calls were made through an electronic system called emergency teletext, the 911 alternative intended for deaf people.
In a news release, police said multiple agencies including the FBI and Long Beach Police Department were involved in the investigation.
‘The swatting practice is extremely dangerous and places first responders and citizens in harm’s way,’ police said.
Long Beach detectives who investigate cybercrimes were consulted and the agency was not involved in the arrest.
Police would only say the juvenile lives in the Southern California area.
Initially, the news brought to mind a SuperKid in a Cape with a giant fly-swatter, unleashing the distaste of apathy that the collective American people hold for Ashton Kutcher upon his doofy little head with a resounding SWAT!
Unfortunately for both us and the boy, this was not the case, as the child is now being charged with two felony counts for the Kutcher incident and one involving a Wells Fargo bank. For shame, Swatter Boy! To think of the fame and fortune you could have amassed had you used the power of pun to smite The Kutcher and earn the eternal gratitude of a suffering nation!
Related: Two and a Half Men is still on the air.
SAD TROMBONE.
READ MORE: Ashton Kutcher Plays Steve Jobs in ‘jOBS’, Is Way Method Now
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