Lil’ Poopy is 9-years old and lives in Massachusetts, but he’s got more money and swagger than a drunk kitten. The problem is that his swagger is tied to a rap career in which he waxes on about cocaine, sex, and machine guns. Oh, and then there’s the slapping of the grown women’s backsides in his rap videos.
AND she’s wearing leggings as pants!
Worst of all, arguably, is that his stage name is LIL POOPY.
Lil Poopy (omg), whose real name is Luie Rivera, Jr, has an impressively budding music career for a 9-year old. He’s been signed by French Montana, founder of Cocaine City Records, and often performs with the group Coke Boyz, bringing in nearly $10,000 per performance. He also has several music videos that have been released to YouTube, nearly all of which have had at least tens of thousands of views. According to one source, he’s even shared the stage with P Diddy.
But that’s where the good news ends for our precious Lil Poopy (I can’t even).
Why is that child holding a plank of wood?!
Police in Brockton, Massachusetts, after seeing some of his work, have filed a 51A, which will initiate an investigation of the child’s welfare with The Department of Children and Families. Among the list of offenses that have triggered the probe are the following:
1. The boy’s sexually charged interaction with women.
2. Lyrics in his music including “coke is not a bad word.”
3. Live performances in which the fourth-grader sings along to profanity-laced songs.
Notably absent:
1. The boy’s stage name.
The father of Lil Poopy (Big Poopy?!) adamantly defends his son, himself, and the above listed ridiculousness, telling reporters:
“When you hit a home run, when you go to the bleachers, they tap you on the butt,” Rivera said. “He’s not doing anything wrong.”
(Um, nice try, Dad. We’re not buying it.)
“He goes to school every day,” his dad told the Boston Herald. “He knows, No school, no rappin’. His teachers love him; he’s a really smart kid. He still plays basketball and baseball. He was one of the best hitters on his team.”
The police countered with the following eloquent statement:
It’s a bit much for a 9-year-old.
Jesus, it’s an old white man that spoke that quote, isn’t it?
I’m no lawyer, but I’m pretty sure this case is dead in the sewage water before it even gets going. Let’s lay it down:
First, I’m fairly certain there is nothing illegal about a kid smacking a woman’s ass. Is it outrageous? Offensive? Highly inappropriate? Of course. But I’m not so sure it’s so egregious as to warrant taking a child away from his family. The same goes for the lyrics and performances. I mean, my six-year old talks about naked butts and samurai swords LIKE A BOSS, but because I don’t pair that with Ferraris, gold chains, and dancing women, I’m in the clear?
It’s a very fine, poopy-smeared line.
Not sold? Let’s add some more context by way of comparison. I was in my kid’s pediatrician’s office the other day and the Wendy Williams Show was on. (Which is a whole ‘notha level of inappropriate.) The topic at hand was a woman who hired a stripper for her 16 year-old’s bowling alley birthday party and whether her subsequent arrest was justified or an overreaction. The crux of the controversy seems aligned with this whole Lil Poopy debacle: is this type of behavior truly neglectful and endangering, or do we just disagree with the parenting methods involved? Would I keep my kids away from that woman and her son? Damn straight. Should she go to jail? Not so sure that’s necessary.
Just promise you’ll change your stage name when you’re old enough to do algebra.
It’s difficult for me to type all of this without making a diaper joke, but I’m gonna have to side with Lil Poopy on this one.
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