I’m not one to defend things that are inherently racist, ignorant, or otherwise a detrimental contribution to the collective human experience. But I think in this case I may have to make an exception for Courtney Stodden.
Yeah, that’s not a typo. Just hear me out.
Courtney Stodden, child-bride of that-creepy-actor-from-The-Green-Mile, Doug Hutchison, published a video to YouTube Sunday night that defies any sort of logical explanation. It features Stodden wearing an unkempt wig and speaking with a reasonably offensive Hispanic accent. Throughout the three-minute video she refers to herself as “Courtina,” Courtney Stodden’s long-lost sister, and plays with her cleavage a bit. It is disturbing.
And also highly offensive. In the video, Stodden’s “Courtina” exaggerates stereotypical Hispanic characteristics, essentially exploiting and demeaning an entire culture of people for fame and attention. Stodden is not Hispanic, and even if she was that fact would not diminish the inappropriate nature of the video. Her behavior should be condemned, she should be forced to apologize, and also perhaps presented with a plate of cat poop in the style of Ron Burgundy of Anchorman.
Watch for yourself:
Um, yeah.
And though ignorance is never an excuse for racism — it is, in fact, a cause of it — by way of explanation I feel compelled to point out Stodden’s utter detachment from what most of us consider reality. And much as we would not sweepingly condemn a clueless child for unintentionally saying something offensive, it seems to me that Courtney Stodden is more in need of gentle redirection and a lesson in cultural sensitivity than she is a giant smack upside the head.
Why? Let’s break it down:
1. Girlfriend is seriously messed up, and everyone important in her life made her that way
There doesn’t seem to be a more apt way to describe a grown woman who has been sexualized by her own family since a young age, was married off to a man roughly the same age as her father at 16, and is strongly encouraged to play the living, breathing equivalent of a blow-up doll every waking moment of her life FOREVER by everyone in her life, than “messed up.” Anyone else recall the time she appeared on Dr. Drew’s show and got an ultrasound of her breasts in front of a live studio audience in an effort to prove that her boobs are not the product of implants?
“LET’S DO A FULL EXAM,” the doctor says.
WHUT?
2. More specifically: Girlfriend has MAJOR DADDY ISSUES
We all kind of cringed when Stodden and Doug Hutchison appeared on that reality show and she revealed that she accidentally calls him “Daddy” from time to time, but that seems downright elementary when we see the interaction between Stodden and her ACTUAL father, who recently accompanied his daughter to a red carpet event. At this event, Stodden was wearing a see-through dress with light-up panties, AND HER OWN FATHER SPANKED HER FOR THE CAMERAS in what could only be described as a very sexual manner.
Not enough eye bleach in the world.
Starting to feel sorry for her yet? Yeeeeah.
3. Girlfriend has zero internal life
Okay so this is less a defense and more of a rational explanation, but I think it’s still valid. What does a woman whose sense of self and personal identity is wholly wrapped up in the men in her life DO for “fun,” anyway? What if Doug was working? And Dad was busy looking at porn? And her poor, little dog was taking a nap and praying for the sweet release of death? Well, I’ll tell you what she does. She buys a nasty wig, puts on some lipstick and a pound of makeup, and pretends she’s someone else in an attempt to escape her own twisted, pathetic reality, that’s what.
And can you blame her?
Bottom line, unless you think Courtney Stodden is actually wicked smart, playing us all for fools, and capitalizing on everything that’s wrong with American culture in a highly calculated effort to promote herself and her disastrous “music career,” it’s hard to take anything she does or says seriously and feel anything but pity for her. Period.
I rest my case.
(But if you DO think she’s wicked smart and playing us all, please feel free to BRING ON THE PLATED CAT POOP.)
READ MORE: Courtney Stodden’s Christmas Photo Album Was On No One’s Wish List



















