See that mic? SHE’S GONNA DROP IT.
Kelly Clarkson has had quite the year. First, she’s slammed by a FOX News contributor calling her “talented, but fat,” and now Clive Davis is writing some not-so-nice-things about her. That’s a lot for a year not even two months old, but she can handle it, what with being the most awesome person and bully-fighter currently on the planet.
It seems Clarkson got wind of the famed music producer’s forthcoming memoir, and the “false information” it contains pertaining to Kelly has her pissed. In the book, Davis discusses Clarkson breaking down and “hysterically sobbing” in his office, along with several other unflattering stories about her. I was all about the Clive-love earlier this week when he came forward with his bi-sexuality, but now? OFF THE ISLAND, ASSHOLE.
If Davis thought his statements were going to go unnoticed by Clarkson, he was probably sick in bed with the flu during the whole Kanye West “Imma let ya finish…” debacle, because this was when Clarkson made it clear her bullshit tolerance hovers around the “fuck you” point below absolute zero. After West’s VMAs outburst in 2009, Clarkson took to her blog and addressed the singer directly:
“I’ve seen you do some pretty shitty things, but you just keep amazing me with your tactless, asshole ways. It’s absolutely fascinating how much I don’t like you. I like everyone. I even like my asshole ex that cheated on me over you…which is pretty odd since I don’t even personally know you.”
Also, that was 2009? 2009? I have really got to start spending more time with my kids because “like sands through the hourglass” and all that. Shit. 2009!
Clarkson has again taken to the open microphone set at high volume known as da blog, and written on WhoSay.com her version of events, which I totally prefer and therefore choose to believe.
You can read the full text of Kelly’s open letter to Clive here, but it can be summed up pretty succinctly as follows: “Fuck off, asshole. You’re a bully and you’ve picked the wrong girl to target.”
Hey Clive! Kelly’s comin’ for ya at the flagpole after school.
In the letter, Clarkson disputes Davis’s depiction of her as less-than talented, a crybaby, and a ”shitty writer.” Clarkson reveals in her rebuttal that Davis once told her that she should be, quote “grateful for the gifts he has bestowed upon her.” He also instructed her to simply “shut up and sing.” (Which actually doesn’t make any logical sense at all, but whateves.) Davis also apparently didn’t appreciate the fact that many of her songs “didn’t rhyme.”
Hey Clive, you heard the one about the man from Nantucket?
But it gets worse. Clarkson writes about the time Davis publicly belittled her at a music convention, thereby “sabotaging” the singer’s upcoming project. Oh no you didn’t, Clive. What’s the matter? You no like strong women?
By responding to Davis so publicly, Clarkson has cemented her reputation as a woman who deserves our admiration. While it can be argued that Clarkson has a comfortable place from which to unleash her fury, it doesn’t lessen its impact. The music world is pretty insular, and Clarkson still risks pissing important people off with her words to Davis. But guess what? Girlfriend don’t care.
Guess what else? I think that’s awesome, and I’m going to tell my daughter all about this. We can’t definitively say if this was misogyny at work, or personality conflict, or if maybe Clive didn’t eat breakfast that day and was a bit peckish- we just don’t know. Regardless, Clarkson isn’t taking any of it, and that is to be admired.
This bit, though, is my favourite part of her letter; in fact, I may have it scribed on a plaque and hung over my desk, or tattooed onto my punching fist:
“I refuse to be bullied…Growing up is awesome because you learn you don’t have to cower to anyone – even Clive Davis.”
Sing it!
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About Jeni Marinucci
