Taylor Swift has sold over 22 million albums, and has had almost as many boyfriends in her short life.
I couldn’t be happier for her. But it seems quite a few people aren’t.
Swift has been sneeringly called “a serial dater,” is said to be “addicted to love,” and has otherwise been slut-shamed by the media, the general public, and the toughest and sometimes meanest demographic of all – teenage girls. But aren’t these youthful detractors the same girls who should stand up and cheer Taylor Swift on in her quest of finding a guy who isn’t an asshole is right for her? Her dating history should mean nothing, regardless of it’s width or girth. Yet the volume of reactions to news of her and a new beau would fill a University library (or twelve).
And why do we care so much about Taylor Swift’s dating patterns? Male celebrities who date strings of women escape most if not all of the same criticisms hurled at Swift. Sure, celebrities like George Clooney and Jack Nicholson may “endure” ribbing for dating numerous women, but it’s mostly good-natured in tone and often targets the woman as the focus of our judgement. If men want to date women through a revolving door, that’s okay, it seems. Let’s celebrate their virility! And aren’t they just so goddamn debonair? Good on them, we say.
(Oh, but not those sluts they date; they’re a bunch of stupid hos, right? Let’s hate on those women! Villagers, gather your torches!)
Look, Taylor Swift is conventionally beautiful, talented, and wealthy. She’s young and single, and has pretty hair that hasn’t yet been puked in by a sick toddler. She doesn’t drown baskets of puppies or steal orphan’s shoes, and by all accounts appears to be a decent person. So – crazy idea alert! – maybe we should just let her keep on keepin’ on as far as her love life goes and STFU about it. If things aren’t good in a relationship, Swift gets out before it gets serious. This is something she should be congratulated for. This is something to admire, and maybe even to learn from.
It’s curious to note that John Mayer recently gave an interview wherein he admitted to being less-than-great to his ex-girlfriends, saying: “I was just a jerk.” All of a sudden everything Swift had written and sung about after their breakup made sense. The collective of critical voices together murmured, “Okay, we’re all good with her representation of John now, because John said it was true.”
He hath spoken.
Let the woman date unfettered, I say. We should celebrate Swift’s presentation of dating to our daughters (and ourselves), which is one of not having to settle. She gets in, and if things don’t feel right, she gets out. And that’s what dating is for –otherwise it would be called called marriage.
It’s substantially harder to remove yourself from a shitty legal union because things just don’t feel right, so if Swift is lucky enough to possess working and in-tune “feelers” which alert her to douchbaggery early on (as with Mayer), then more power to her. Do you know what happens to 23 year-old women who never date more than a few partners and say yes to the first person who proposes? They wind up nine months pregnant before they’re probably truly ready and married to partners who won’t drive two miles to buy them french fries because they “already took their shoes off.”
Or so I hear.
Too young?
Too werewolvey?
Too gay?
So Taylor, go forth unshamed in your alleged “promiscuity.” Date as many men as you care to, celebs and paupers alike, from both close and far-flung places. Ignore the haters and the shamers, and enjoy yourself. Eventually you will find the right guy – if that’s what you’re looking for – and things will be great. At least until you reach the “mutual fart” stage. Then it’s pretty much all downhill from there.
About Jeni Marinucci
