Pity poor Manti T’eo. If only he had the combined wisdom of the United States government and MamaPop to guide him along on his Internet dating adventure.
USA.gov recently released a blog post with helpful tips on how to know when your online girlfriend or boyfriend is actually not your girlfriend or boyfriend. Your girlfriend may, in fact, be a boyfriend. And your boyfriend may be a snot-nosed, middle school wise guy who will someday make a million co-writing a film with Seth Rogen.
I adore the way your 1s and 0s combine to make me feel loved and sexy and really helpful when it comes to saving you (again) with my cash.
Bottom line? Cray-cray shit happens on the internet, people. So eyes and ears, safety first, and use these tips to help protect yourself, so you don’t become the web’s next broken-hearted victim!
The State Department says:
“The scammer and the victim meet online – often through Internet dating or employment sites.”
MamaPop says:
Think of the Internet as a really dark bar with loud music, and assume that when the lights come up at last call you’ll be somewhat shocked into sobriety by just how much low lighting can act like Photoshop and an Instagram filter.
The State Department says:
“The scammer asks for money to get out of a bad situation or to provide a service.”
MamaPop says:
No one has that many car accidents, surgeries, or nieces selling Girl Scout cookies. Not all in one month.
“Old fashioned guy with a sense of whimsy and who loves snuggling in warm sweaters during winter days seeks like-minded gal for thrift store shopping and nights on the town.” “Nights on the town” meaning church bingo.
The State Department says:
“Photographs that the scammer sends of “him/herself” show a very attractive person. The photo appears to have been taken at a professional modeling agency or photographic studio.”
MamaPop says:
There are genuinely gorgeous folks who can’t get a date on a Saturday night. There are also sharks that only take a nibble, and IRS agents who tell you not to sweat the details. Take your chances. “That’s not a copyright watermark on my photo – it’s a tattoo” is just sloppy lying.
There is a difference between “artful lighting” and turning the contrast and levels dial up to 11 on the Photoshop perfection scale.
The State Department says:
“The scammer has incredibly bad luck— often getting into car crashes, arrested, mugged, beaten, or hospitalized — usually all within the course of a couple of months. They often claim that their key family members (parents and siblings) are dead. Sometimes, the scammer claims to have an accompanying child overseas who is very sick or has been in an accident.”
MamaPop says:
Your mama didn’t name you “Chump McSucker” for a reason. I’m for love overcoming all and “through sickness and in health, till death do us part,” but there’s a fine, gray line where dedication and devotion cross into martyrdom. Make sure you’re dating the real deal before you start writing checks or putting a virtual ring on it.
The State Department says:
“The scammer claims to be a native-born American citizen, but uses poor grammar indicative of a non-native English speaker. Sometimes the scammer will use eloquent romantic language that is plagiarized from the Internet.”
MamaPop says:
The person on the other end could actually be Javier Bardem writing with a foreign syntax or a pretty Finnish figure skater with pronoun trouble. It could happen. Really.
source, source, source, source, source
About Josette Plank
