Just when America – nay, the whole of Planet Earth – thought we collectively couldn’t love Beyoncé any more than we already do, the singer has brought out The Big Guns We Didn’t Even Know Existed in the March issue of Vogue.
Prepare to feel inadequate and mediocre, normal human womens!
First of all, Mama B looks like this :
Oh and also? Like this:
Gorgeous, sexy, and above all else, womanly. Win, win, win.
And if that weren’t enough, when she opens her mouth and speaks, she offers up quotes like this:
(About her body, post-baby:)
Right now, after giving birth, I really understand the power of my body… I just feel my body means something completely different. I feel a lot more confident about it. Even being heavier, thinner, whatever… I feel a lot more like a woman. More feminine, more sensual. And no shame.
(About her family, her daughter Blue Ivy:)
[Blue Ivy’s] my road dog, my homey, my best friend, I feel like I have something that has grounded me so much more. Family has always been important… I’ve always had my mother and my father and my husband. But it’s just… Life is so much more than…. It’s not defined by any of this.
It’s very important to me that my daughter is able to experience life and run through the sprinklers and have slumber parties and trust and live and do all the things that any child should be able to do… School visits and lemonade stands and all that stuff. It’s very important for me.
So that pretty much seals it, ladies. Beyoncé is talented, stunning, a great mom, and wins at ALL OF THE THINGS. It’s a done deal, no use in fighting it. The rest of us might as well go home, don our snuggies, rip open a bag of Cheetos, and give up the ghost – BEYONCE WINS, YOU HEAR ME?