Justin Bieber turned the wise old age of 19 on Friday and celebrated another momentous year on the planet with the WORST BIRTHDAY of his young life.
The pop star planned to spend the evening with a variety of equally loaded friends at the Cirque du Soir club in London, which sounds like a pretty nice time to me, but don’t get too excited– that’s just where everything went horribly, horribly wrong.
Evidently 14-year-old Jaden Smith made an unexpected appearance, prompting a nasty confrontation between Bieber’s staff and the club’s security team. The club (and the Bieber-hungry press) jumped all over the fact that Jaden Smith isn’t of legal age, and FAMOUS PEOPLE, well whaddya gunna do, yanno? Make them obey the “rules?” Fifteen short minutes later the Biebs and his crew “bounced,” presumably to take their entitlement frowny-party somewhere more welcoming to minors.
The incident and the resulting press ruined Justin Bieber‘s ENTIRE BIRTHDAY, obviously, because being told ‘no’ must be like, a totally new experience for him or something.
He took to instagram to defend his… honor, or whatever, because clearly that’s the best decision to make, and had this to say:
“U think Will is letting his 14 year old in a club, I don’t think so … I love how the club wanted to give the press another reason to why we didn’t stay at their weak ass club so they wouldn’t look bad for me walking in and right back out.”
It wasn’t long before Jaden Smith himself chimed in to the drama, because no one can seem to keep these celebrity youngsters away from twitter for five freaking seconds:
Let’s recap: You (one Justin Bieber) went to a fancy club for your birthday with all your celebrity friends, but when they wouldn’t let your underage friend in, which would be BREAKING THE LAW, you stormed out and went home to do some laps in your giant Scrooge McDuck money-pool and IT WAS THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN?
Oh, and should I mention? Mere hours before Worst Birthday Armageddon, Justin was on a whimsical shopping spree at Selfridges picking up a smattering of ridiculously expensive luxury goods, presumably to burn off his hangover from the previous evening’s all-nighter with friends at a members-only club BUT NOW IT’S ALLLLLLL RUINED. LIFE IS OVER. NINETEEN. IT’S ALL OVER.
Upon being presented with the fact that this may have been just a wee bit of an overreaction Bieber responded:
“I said m ‘worst bday’ but that was due to dummies pushing over my fans and being overly aggressive. Btw it wasn’t the worst bday cuz all my friends from back home flew in I was just mad in the moment. [sic]“
Oh, all right then. Don your gas masks and tally ho and suchnforth, nothing ridiculous to see here.