Poor, Poor Justin Bieber Had The “Worst Birthday” Ever

03/05/2013 12:00 pm by

Justin Bieber turned the wise old age of 19 on Friday and celebrated another momentous year on the planet with the WORST BIRTHDAY of his young life.

The pop star planned to spend the evening with a variety of equally loaded friends at the Cirque du Soir club in London, which sounds like a pretty nice time to me, but don’t get too excited– that’s just where everything went horribly, horribly wrong.

Justin Bieber 2011 2 590x361 Poor, Poor Justin Bieber Had The Worst Birthday Ever

Hold on– things are about to get super serious.

Evidently 14-year-old Jaden Smith made an unexpected appearance, prompting a nasty confrontation between Bieber’s staff and the club’s security team. The club (and the Bieber-hungry press) jumped all over the fact that Jaden Smith isn’t of legal age, and FAMOUS PEOPLE, well whaddya gunna do, yanno? Make them obey the “rules?” Fifteen short minutes later the Biebs and his crew “bounced,” presumably to take their entitlement frowny-party somewhere more welcoming to minors.

The incident and the resulting press ruined Justin Bieber‘s ENTIRE BIRTHDAY, obviously, because being told ‘no’ must be like, a totally new experience for him or something.

justin bieber Poor, Poor Justin Bieber Had The Worst Birthday Ever

EVARRRRRRRRRR.

He took to instagram to defend his… honor, or whatever, because clearly that’s the best decision to make, and had this to say:

“U think Will is letting his 14 year old in a club, I don’t think so … I love how the club wanted to give the press another reason to why we didn’t stay at their weak ass club so they wouldn’t look bad for me walking in and right back out.”

Justin Bieber in concert 590x485 Poor, Poor Justin Bieber Had The Worst Birthday Ever

Justin Bieber: Hard-Knock Blues

It wasn’t long before Jaden Smith himself chimed in to the drama, because no one can seem to keep these celebrity youngsters away from twitter for five freaking seconds:

Jaden Smith Poor, Poor Justin Bieber Had The Worst Birthday Ever

WORST BIRTHDAY EVER.

Let’s recap: You (one Justin Bieber) went to a fancy club for your birthday with all your celebrity friends, but when they wouldn’t let your underage friend in, which would be BREAKING THE LAW, you stormed out and went home to do some laps in your giant Scrooge McDuck money-pool and IT WAS THE WORST THING TO EVER HAPPEN?

bieber cartier 590x590 Poor, Poor Justin Bieber Had The Worst Birthday Ever

Stuff of nightmares right here.

Oh, and should I mention? Mere hours before Worst Birthday Armageddon, Justin was on a whimsical shopping spree at Selfridges picking up a smattering of ridiculously expensive luxury goods, presumably to burn off his hangover from the previous evening’s all-nighter with friends at a members-only club BUT NOW IT’S ALLLLLLL RUINED. LIFE IS OVER. NINETEEN. IT’S ALL OVER.

Upon being presented with the fact that this may have been just a wee bit of an overreaction Bieber responded:

“I said m ‘worst bday’ but that was due to dummies pushing over my fans and being overly aggressive. Btw it wasn’t the worst bday cuz all my friends from back home flew in I was just mad in the moment. [sic]“

Oh, all right then. Don your gas masks and tally ho and suchnforth, nothing ridiculous to see here.

Grumpy Cat MEME 01 Poor, Poor Justin Bieber Had The Worst Birthday Ever

Read More: Justin Bieber vs Patrick Carney: The Twitter Drama Saga Continues

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About Jamie Jamerson

Jamie, aka The Grumbles, cries every day that an update on the cast of My Monkey Baby isn't released. Her tears could fill a river of regret. She blogs at Grumbles and Grunts.

Filed Under: Best Of MamaPop, Celebrities, Celebrities Say The Darndest Things, Fail, Justin Bieber, Popular, Shopping, Temper Tantrum, The Stars Aren't Like Us, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Twitter Drama Tagged With: , ,


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  • http://www.waitinthevan.com Kristine

    I love everything about this. So many giggly smiles.

  • http://www.josetteplank.com/ Josette Plank

    I get it: young impulsive people whose prefrontal cortex isn’t completely done cooking do and say impulsive things.

    That said, I think it would behoove any young celebrity to hire a Tweet Filter – maybe my mom or some panel of grown-ups (Hey! Sideline work for MamaPop!) – to live-time edit/censor/approve Tweets before they go out.

    Or else, how about a coupon for 10 Free Lessons In Self-Aware/Deprecating Humor for the kid? “Worst Birthday Ever. I know, what a whiner I’m being.” Done.

    • the grumbles

      they need to invent a teenage drama filter. or a little popup box that says, “caution, you seem mad upset. wait 3 hours and resend.”

      • DianaCLT

        Can all kids have a Teenage Drama Filter? Or how about everyone, in general, have a Drama Filter? Is it something that needs to be installed, like a microchip or something? Because I have known people from preschool to senior citizens that seriously need a motherlovin’ Drama Filter!

        • Annabelle Archer

          If there is a God.

      • http://www.josetteplank.com/ Josette Plank

        “Is this a Rage Tweet? Go have a snack/poop/nap and try again later.”

    • GirlWithTheKittenTattoo

      I think this might be the the best way for him to understand why a public figure should speak carefully. If he isn’t allowed to make his own mistakes, then he’ll never learn.

      • http://www.josetteplank.com/ Josette Plank

        I do agree with this. I do think that easy ways out can be the antithesis to actually ever achieving maturity. Making mistakes and learning from them is like maturity calisthenics.

        • GirlWithTheKittenTattoo

          For some reason though, celebrities seem to make mistakes at higher velocity than others. One minute they’re seen out at a club drinking underage and then BAM they’re giving out handies in a DJ booth on Sunset.

    • the grumbles

      it’s totally a fair point that this is typical of today’s teenagers, but also BLAZILLION DOLLARS lololololol

  • DianaCLT

    I just read on my newsfeed this morning that the Bieber also showed up 2 hours late to a concert full of PISSED concertgoers. Could this be the decline of the Bieber? Please?

    • the grumbles

      his precious Beliebers?! OH NOEEEEES.

  • Jon

    What a raging asshat this kid is. Usher deserves to be slapped. His Cartier can suck it. Will Smith I thought you were a better father than this. For shame.

    • the grumbles

      wait when did Usher get involved in this?! is he secretly 14?!?

      • DianaCLT

        Usher “Discovered” the Bieber on YouTube, if memory serves.

        *Smacks self for knowing this*

  • Tyskkvinna

    I do feel it necessary to give him a small prop tho- he at least admitted he got caught up in the moment and it as not actually the worst day ever. I know a few other celebs would talk themselves blue without admitting they dramatised it.

    • the grumbles

      fair point. at least he’s not still claiming it was the worst thing to ever happen. mini-redemption.

  • http://www.facebook.com/amanda.robey.50 Amanda Robey

    If he thinks 19 with more money than god, and diamonds and lackies everywhere always willing to say, “YES!” and access to anything his silly little heart desires JUST! SUCKS! SO! BAD! Then he’s *really* going to hate 30, broke and burned out because he “peaked” (…?) too early, with a wicked shiny bald spot and nobody willing to let him in to any club EVER because he smells like chicken wings and makes all the ladies uncomfortable when he gets all handsy and does drunk karaoke of his own songs.

    • frogprof

      I want video of the Bieb’s 30th, if this is what is going to happen. THAT I would watch.