Oh, Taylor Swift. Sweet, talented, horribly misguided and completely wrong Taylor Swift. I’m starting to think you don’t want to be liked, because honey, you’re making it very difficult for us. Why, just last week I was here defending you to the throbbing masses. But it seems you’ve gone and said some not-so-great stuff about some pretty great people, and now I’m going to have to call you out at the the flagpole after school.
Swift appears on the cover of Vanity Fair’s April 2013 Edition, and in an interview with contributing editor Nancy Jo Sales, she reveals she’s VRY VRY upset about remarks Tina Fey and Amy Poehler made at her expense. Referencing Fey and Poehler, Swift says:
“You know, Katie Couric is one of my favorite people. Because she said to me she had heard a quote that she loved that said ‘There’s a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.’”
So of course I wanted to know what “Mean Girls” Fey and Poehler said that warrants being slammed as anti-feminists and being banished to the deepest, fiery pits of hell — or least guarantees they get the shittiest 3-wheeled cart on their next Costco visit. Turns out, it’s this:
For the love of Sweet Jesus.
Taylor, these women are not slamming you. Tina’s suggestion of “taking some ‘me time’” should actually be considered, as it seems you went just a little off the rails on this one. As a young woman you do need to “learn about yourself,” including learning when to bite your tongue. You know when you should have said something and lashed out? How about when Kanye went all “‘IMMA LET YA FINISH“? He deserved your wrath, as he was most certainly not helping you and he needed to be stopped. We all sat there, waiting for you summon up a good “Fuck you, Kanye!” We had hopes for you then, Taylor. But you stood there. And said nothing. And laughed it off.
Like you should have a month ago when you participated in this interview.
And I don’t want to blame you entirely for the impending birth of Kimye spawn, but I do implore you to Wiki search “Butterfly Effect.”
I don’t think there’s anyone anywhere who can give a reasonable argument that Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are doing anything BUT helping other women. Amy hosts a YouTube channel for girls, called The Smart Girls Channel and Tina became the first female head writer at the notoriously sexist Saturday Night Live. When Taylor implied the two were acting as anti-feminists and referred to their comments as “sexist,” I laughed so hard my IUD almost came out and my degree fell off the wall. I mean, come on, Taylor; I know people who wouldn’t even entertain the idea that vaginas and humor could co-exist in the same life form until these two women made them laugh.
Did Glenn Close sulk when Tina and Amy implied that she was drunk at the Golden Globes? NO. She played along with grace and aplomb.
Did Kathryn Bigelow angrily retort when the two suggested her marriage to James Cameron was akin to “torture?” NOPE. Did Cameron, even? NADA.
And why? Because these people know when to zip it, play along with a joke, or otherwise burn comedians in effigy privately when they’re upset. Like people who make a living off of being a public figure do, regardless of their age or gender.
When asked about Taylor’s reaction to their Golden Globes joking, Amy Poehler of course responded with class:
“Aw, I feel bad if she was upset. I am a feminist, and she is a young and talented girl. That being said, I do agree I am going to hell. But for other reasons. Mostly boring tax stuff.”
And Tina Fey had this to say:
“If anyone was going to get mad I thought it would be James Cameron. It was a joke, it was meant to be light-hearted.”
See, Taylor? A Joke. So if you’re still going to whine, maybe you should consider taking your hurt feelings and writing them down in a song – doing something, you know, productive with that energy. Because these bitches? THEY GET SHIT DONE.