I Have A Serious Love/Hate Relationship With My Cats [Essay]


Fluffy Shit

The Internet is a vast echo of contradictions, my friends. And there is little to nothing that the collective lot of it seems to agree upon. Except one thing, of course: a love of cats. It’s sweet, to be sure, but it’s also a bit triggering for me. I see headlines about Grumpy Cat scoring [...]

You Thought It Wasn’t Possible, But Fast Food Just Got Grosser


Fast food burger

No one eats at a fast-food restaurant because the food tastes divine or the service is stellar. If I get a grunt from the clerk when they hand me my change I consider that five-star service. The reason we eat there is because it’s fast. But to be fast you have to give other things [...]

Photoshop FAIL: Beyonce Laughably Unrecognizable In Roberto Cavalli Ad


Beyonce_Knowles

Beyonce Knowles is one of the most conventionally beautiful women on the planet. She just absolutely radiates crazy-hot sexy vibes. One of the things I love most about Ms. Knowles is her healthy, normal looking body. She’s got curves and boobs and strong powerful legs built for kickin’ ass on stage. People adore the Queen [...]

The Ball Lift: A Father’s Day Gift Idea For The Saggy Set


Male Ball lift treatment

Father’s Day is coming up this weekend and your probably online right this minute looking at ties and gardening shears   in another browser. You can go ahead and shut them down, because I am going to end your gift-giving worries right here, right now! What better way to thank your dad for life than [...]

Today In Dumb: Psycho Films Her Own Viral Temper Tantrum Over A Dunkin Donuts Receipt


lard lad rampage

So this might be a first in the “World’s Worst Terrible Person of the Day” genre. Usually online evidence of bad behavior is leaked by the wronged party or an innocent bystander — like the Insane Sorority Girl Letter or the pastor lady who stiffed an Applebee’s server because of Jesus reasons. This time, we have [...]