Fashion Disaster of the Week: InStyle, You Ignorant Slut

Okay, so at first glance, this dress might look more of a Fashion Sort-of-Miss than a bonafide disaster, but when you consider that InStyle thinks it belongs on their "Cannes Best Dressed" list? Well. That means I get to judge it INFINITELY more harshly than your average dress.

Honestly, this dress comes so close to being so right. The color is lovely. The beading is understated. The sash sort of veers into DIANE KRUGER BUMPWATCH 2007 territory, but hey, at least you can't see her nipples when a flash goes off. And while I generally loathe those filmy sheer bodice/sleeve things (they always remind me of the wedding dress George modeled for Drew Barrymore in The Wedding Singer, and also many, many bad prom dresses), I don't totally hate this one.

But then...

Nothing can undo the fact that she looks like she's wearing a lampshade around her hips while simultaneously dragging some toilet paper AND a strip of the red carpet on her heel.

Diane, it's the OPENING CEREMONY. Please save your benderwear until at least mid-festival.

Oh, and make sure your hairdresser shows you ALL the angles of your hairstyle. Because from the side you are in straight-up Princess Leia mode, baby.

UPDATE: Okay, after finding a close-up, high-res version I am forced to take back everything nice I said, because this dress is a full-on Monet, y'all.

She looks like she's wearing a washed-out, bedazzled sack of potatoes. And are those loose threads? Feathers? Some ungodly combination of BOTH?

Comments

[Nic]

I have to go cry now.

[Catherine]

Her hairdresser probably watched the "Here Comes the Bride" episode of Shear Genius, because that looks like a rip-off of Daisy's bridal hairdo.

[Amanda]

OMG, Catherine, you totally read my mind.

[Tere]

It's hideous.

[Tracey]

inexplicable. i'm speechless.

[Suzy Q]

There's just too much badness going on here for me to focus.