In Other Words: I GIVE UP

Deep down, I always knew my little fashion-disaster-of-the-week feature would end up changing the world. I knew that my brilliantly original insights would reach the eyes and ears -- nay, the very SOULS -- of the ensembly challenged, and they would see the light follow my advice. In a matter of weeks I could just discontinue the whole thing, because there would be no more high-waisted diaper pants or ripped fishnets or shirts masquerading as dresses paired with a disturbing lack of pants.

My betches, that day has come. And we have Brooke Hogan to thank.

Now THIS is a makeunder, people. It's ladylike. Refined.

She doesn't look a day over 47, either.

And I do believe Audrey Hepburn was also known to rock the cameltoe in her day.

It's just all-around fantastic from every possible angle.

*slams head into keyboard*

*hopes Christina is rolling over in her OB/GYN stirrups because this is mostly her fault*

*well, Britney too, obviously*

*Oh, Jesus*

*hopes and prays Britney never sees these photos lest she start rocking the underwear-free version*

Comments

[Kyla]

There are no words. No words at all.

[Sils]

Yeah, I saw these yesterday and I'm still speechless.

Her parents must be so proud.

[duchess]

Oh, Brookey: You know you have a problem when your back-up dancers look ten times classier than you and they don't have stylists.

[Skyzi]

muahahahaha. And to think someone did that on purpose! It looks like she had a throw down with wild animals.

[Missie]

She looks like a drag queen version of Cameron Diaz on crack.

[Liana]

Gee. I guess her PARENTS don't care that she looks like a 47 year old whore with too much makeup? Ew ew ew. EW! Also, ew.
Oh, and EEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!! Oh heavens. That is seriously even WORSE than Christina or Britney because she obviously repurposed those jeans herself. At least, I sure HOPE she didn't pay someone ELSE to. Oh dear. This just doesn't get any better no matter which way you look at it. And duchess is 100% right about the backup dancers looking classier than she does- as is Missie about the drag-queen thing, if said drag queen is over 40. And really, actual women in their 40s look WAY more beautiful, classy, and HOT than she does. Get her some meds. Or therapy. Or to a nunnery. Something!

[Jami]

"Underwear-free version" BAHHAHHAHAHHAAAAHAHA!!!

[Suzy Q]

Hey, don't be dissin' 47-year-old women like that! Some of us actually wear COMPLETE pairs of pants with, you know, panties under them and everything.

But this? This is a tragedy of unutterable proportions. It's the magna cum laude of "fashion" disasters. She wins.

[Missie]

Maybe we could all chip in to get her a trophy that reads, "I Won Ho-dom!"? No?

[Joel]

O.
M.
G.