In Other Words: I GIVE UP

Deep down, I always knew my little fashion-disaster-of-the-week feature would end up changing the world. I knew that my brilliantly original insights would reach the eyes and ears -- nay, the very SOULS -- of the ensembly challenged, and they would see the light follow my advice. In a matter of weeks I could just discontinue the whole thing, because there would be no more high-waisted diaper pants or ripped fishnets or shirts masquerading as dresses paired with a disturbing lack of pants.

My betches, that day has come. And we have Brooke Hogan to thank.

Now THIS is a makeunder, people. It's ladylike. Refined.

She doesn't look a day over 47, either.

And I do believe Audrey Hepburn was also known to rock the cameltoe in her day.

It's just all-around fantastic from every possible angle.

*slams head into keyboard*

*hopes Christina is rolling over in her OB/GYN stirrups because this is mostly her fault*

*well, Britney too, obviously*

*Oh, Jesus*

*hopes and prays Britney never sees these photos lest she start rocking the underwear-free version*