Big Love Recap

For the record, I still really hate Rhonda, but I will admit that I wouldn't mind hearing her sing rather often. And I now think that she should marry Alby because they're both evil and manipulative.

At the UEB office, Adaleen is talking to the Juniper Creek police and attempting to figure out how the money was stolen. We learn that Nicki really needs to cover up her criminal impulses better since it seems that the thief had a key and knew exactly where the money was. I'm disappointed, Nicki. As sneaky as you are, you could have at least messed the place up a little bit and maybe broken a window or something. This is Robbery 101 stuff! Alby asks for the sign-in sheets so he can see who was on the compound when the theft happened. The hospital calls and informs the Grants that Roman is up and talking and doing much better. Adaleen breathes a sigh of relief but Alby and his super creepy wife, Lura, give each other a look of, "Gosh darn it."

Nicki is on the phone with Wanda talking about Kathy and planning their commitment ceremony. I'm not sure if this is the actual marriage or just kind of like an engagement party. I think it's just an engagement party type thing. Wanda looks worn out and sad and barely reacts when Nicki tells her that she's having a few things sent to Wanda's address. Uh oh. Wanda weakly answers, "Okay. What kind of stuff?" Nicki nonchalantly says that it's just a few things that Bill wanted her and the kids to have but, you know, Barb and Margie get kind of fussy if they think she's spending too much money. Wanda halfheartedly says, "I hop you're not in trouble again, Nicki," and Nicki brushes her off. Gee, this doesn't sound suspicious at all. But before Nicki can feel too guilty, she spies Ben climbing over the fence to sneak into his house.

Nicki is positively giddy that someone else is in trouble besides her, and lays into him in Barb's kitchen. Ben went to try and see Brynn but she wanted none of it. After being scolded by both Barb and Nicki, Ben whines that he might want to have more than one wife, but Barb is so ashamed of herself that she can't handle that. Nicki grabs his ear and yells at him for being disrespectful but Ben snaps back that Nicki isn't his mother. Nicki points out that if he's going to live the Principle, he's going to have to deal with the fact that if he has plural wives he also has plural mothers and adds that if she catches him sneaking out again, she'll come down on him like a ton of bricks. Barb looks slightly irritated, I guess partly because Nicki is stealing her thunder and also because SHUT UP, NICKI!

At dinner, Bill hands the wives some brochures for Wendover Hotel and Casino. A convention for bar owners will be happening there and Bill wants to attend so he can meet some Weber Gaming clients. Margie is squealing over the spa services that the hotel offers and says that Barb could get a hot rock massage, but Nicki scoffs that Barb doesn't need a hot rock massage. Hey, Nicki, let Barb's lumbar speak for itself, okay? But Barb says that she doesn't want to go and suggests that Bill take Nicki instead if this new deal will liberate them from pretending that they're monogamous. Barb's also tired of being the public wife. Bill looks hurt that Barb doesn't want to go, so Nicki, assuming that Bill just doesn't want to take her because god knows this whole marriage revolves around Nicki, quickly and passive-aggressively says that she doesn't want to go. But, of course, after Barb and Bill go inside, Nicki whines to Margie that Bill is embarrassed of her. Embarrassed how? Where did she get that?

At Margie's, she and Bill are getting ready for bed and I think we are finally seeing the suggestion of a tummy on Margie, which is good since she's got to be about 40 months pregnant by now. Bill whines about how stubborn Barb is, and Margie half-jokingly suggests that she go with Bill, especially since their honeymoon got cut short. Bill takes her up on that though and Margie agrees to go. Now, I would never accuse Margie of being malicious, but does she not remember the conversation that she just had with Nicki? Does she not realize that Nicki will be Pissed when she finds out she's going? Has Margie met Nicki?

The next morning, Nicki calls Alby and tries to convince him to let her visit the compound. I guess she needs to pick up her stuff from Wanda. Alby gives her beef for not being at his testimony and that's too bad because it was really inspiring to see him huff sweaty head fumes out of Roman's hat and "receive messages" from God. Alby ends the call by telling Nicki that if she shows up at the compound, she'll be arrested.

Bill and Margie leave Margie's house with their bags and break the news to the other wives that they are going to the convention. Right before they leave, Bill cheerily tells Barb that he left some suits upstairs and could she take them to the cleaners? Barb is speechless. Nicki flips out saying that she won't have her marriage represented by Margie especially since Margie doesn't have the same uppity qualities that Barb has that work so well in public. Barb simply takes the backhanded compliment and says that there's nothing to be done.

At Joey's house, he and Kathy are planting some flowers outside and Kathy says that Wanda hasn't slept in four days. Apparently, Wanda's mental health isn't doing so hot and Joey and Kathy are both very concerned, but decide to keep that to themselves for now. Better hide the anti-freeze, then. Kathy tells Joey that she loves him and Wanda. Aw! Kathy is sweet. Inside, Wanda is on the phone with Nicki discussing the commitment ceremony and Nicki says that she will host it at a restaurant. Great idea, Nicki. Brilliant.

Sarah and Heather are painting their toenails in Heather's room when Rhonda (HATE) saunters in. Sarah and Heather remind Rhonda that they're no longer speaking to her due to the fact that she's a rat and evil. Rhonda simply wants to invite them to attend her survivor's meeting, which is going to be broadcast on TV. Rhonda says that they're going to celebrate her indomitable spirit since she was the lynch pin in bringing down old Roman and then she's going to sing a song of survival. Oh, barf. Besides, I'm pretty sure the bullets to the chest were the lynch pin in bringing down old Roman, Rhonda. Let's not take too much credit, m'kay?  Sarah, of course, is not interested and pushes past Rhonda to go to the bathroom. Rhonda sets her sights on Heather and says that she bets Heather is happy to see Sarah again, mentioning something about how she sees how Heather looks at Sarah. Heather asks Rhonda what the hell she's talking about and Rhonda snarls that she knew women like Heather on the compound. She threatens Heather that if she doesn't convince Sarah to come to the meeting, she'll rat Heather out and even if it isn't true, most people will believe it. Heather looks rather pale, but I'm not sure why. Is Rhonda right? And if not, then why is Heather nervous? Just tell your mom what she's been saying! Rhonda finishes by telling Heather that she's tired of sleeping in the sewing room and wants Heather's bedroom now. Oh, hell naw. Just fight her, Heather!

Lois is back at the gas station, and sneers when she sees Frank pull up. Frank has a brand new convertible but apparently has not found enough money to take a bath, get a haircut, and buy some new clothes. God, he's gross. As Lois fills up his gas tank, Frank taunts her until she slaps some divorce papers under his windshield wiper, telling him that page four has a list of all community property. If Lois were slick she would have dumped some sugar into his gas tank. Frank explodes that there is no community property and that Lois ransacked his house. He grabs a shovel and chases Lois inside, but stops when another customer pulls up.

At the hospital, Alby is arguing with the doctor that Roman be allowed to go home. The doctor points out that Roman's condition is still very perilous, but Lura interjects that she's a fully registered nurse. Is Lura's last name Ratched, by any chance? The doctor finally relents since...she doesn't really have a choice and Lura is already packing up Roman's things.

Bill and Margie squeakily enter the Wendover hotel and Margie is ecstatic when Bill introduces them as Mr. and Mrs. Bill Henrickson and then asks to upgrade their room to the honeymoon suite. But Bill's mood sours when he gets a phone call from Frank, who accuses him and Joey of encouraging Lois to go after his money. Frank says there's a reason a father would never want someone like Bill or his pitiful brother as sons. Bill, through clenched teeth, tells Frank to go to hell. YARGH I hate him!

After Nicki spends an afternoon on the phone pulling wads of cash out of a box and arranging for a band, a chocolate fountain, an ice sculpture, and a banner announcing the party for Joey, Wanda, and Kathy (hosted by Nicolette Grant), Alby calls and tells her that the party is off since the manager at the restaurant called and told him all about it. Alby has not sanctioned the union so Nicki (and Joey and Wanda and Kathy) are S.O.L. as far as he's concerned.

At the convention, Bill is off talking to people and Margie can barely contain her excitement over publicly being Mrs. Bill Henrickson. She strikes up a conversation with some bar owner and babbles on and on about how she doesn't get out often, being the third wife and all. The dude she's talking to looks really confused. As Margie and Bill gush over each other and make plans to clean out the gift shop, they run into a couple that were friends with Barb and Bill in their LDS days. The couple have bought a chain of bars. They ask about Barb and assume that Margie is Sarah, all grown up. Bill says that, no, Margie is actually his secretary. Ouch. In the hotel room, Margie is sobbing in the heart-shaped bathtub while Bill is on the phone with Barb trying to convince her to show up at the convention. Barb grudgingly agrees, and when Nicki hears that Barb is going to go, she flips out and scolds Barb for giving in when Bill so callously passed over both of them. Before stomping out of the house, she yells that she will NOT be taking Bill's suits to the cleaners. Nicki calls Wanda and tells her that the party will be at her house. Ha! She's like a teenager throwing a kegger at her parents' house when they go out of town for the weekend...but weirder.

Heather and Sarah are hanging out and eating lunch. Sarah gets off the phone after having a nauseating conversation with Scott and Heather says that they can't go over to his house because they have to go to the studio. Heather's mom calls and yells at them for not being there and demands to speak to Sarah. She scolds Sarah for not being more interested in the meeting, but Sarah says that she just wants to be Heather's friend. Ugh, shame on them! They try to push her out of her family just to push her into another religious situation she's not comfortable with. Hypocrites.

Bill plays poker with some other convention attendees and his fellow players are a little put off at how clean he seems. Bill ups the ante and attempts to look like a bad ass, which is just kind of amusing.

Barb finally shows up at the hotel and Margie is still extremely upset and blames Barb for cutting their honeymoon short. Apparently, Teenie had had a fever and Barb took her to the ER and called and demanded that Bill return home. Barb attempts to defend herself saying that she only came because Bill called, but Margie snaps back that she doesn't have to come just because Bill asks her to. She has a point there, Barb. Bill walks in and has arranged for Barb to stay in a room down the hall, but Barb informs him that she and Margie will be staying in the honeymoon suite and Bill will have to relocate down the hall.

At the compound, Alby and Lura get Roman set up in his room and post one of the Juniper Creek police officers outside the door. Alby orders Lura to get morphine, Vicodin, and Valium. Party! Adaleen is shocked when the police officer bars her entry to the room and is even more shocked when he tells her that Alby is not even allowing her in to see Roman. Adaleen sees Lura leaving the room and gets an uneasy look about her.

In Roman's office, Alby is meeting with Frank who, not surprisingly, is offering his services of douchebaggery to Alby. He wants to be Alby's eyes and ears and will let him know if anyone is threatening his authority. His price? Kathy. EW! God, I can't believe Alby is making Roman look like a fine, upstanding individual.

Drowning her sorrows in crappy retail, Margie calls Nicki from the hotel gift shop and spins her tale of woe. Nicki is busy hanging lights on the house for the party and says that Barb always treats Margie like this but she's just waking up to it. Margie continues to whine, but Nicki puts the phone down to finish hanging the lights. She picks the phone back up only to tell Margie that she has to go.

At the TV studio, Sarah and Heather are greeted by Rhonda who says that she's so glad they could make it. Sarah replies, very calmly, "I really hate you." Ha! Alright, Sarah! Now just punch her in the face, please. Sarah is being pushed to participate and Heather tries to stop her, but Rhonda reminds her of her threat.

Barb and Bill have dinner with the LDS couple and Margie decides to remain in the background in a knock-out red dress. She sits nearby with Bill's poker mates and regularly fills the room with this hilarious cackling laughter. I love Margene. She stops at Bill's table and says that she's off the clock but Bill did have one message, passing him a note. Bill opens it and reads that Margie has told her companions that she's Bill's mistress. Great! Barb and Bill go on to have a rather uncomfortable dinner in which they debate the morality of their business ventures.

The party is getting underway at Nicki's, and Wanda and Kathy are dressed in matching dresses. The dresses are hideous and are decorated with what look like tiny doilies. As Joey and Kathy mew about how they never thought they would be so fortunate, Wanda tugs at the collar of her dress and looks positively ill before pulling away from Joey. Aww. Meanwhile, Ben meets some of Kathy's sisters. They're twins who finish each other's sentences and they're going to marry a righteous man like Ben. So they would be sister sister wives? Sister wife sisters? Wife sister sisters? Ben looks flattered if not a little confused. While Nicki is inside getting some more food, Alby shows up and tells her that the party is over because he has not sanctioned the union and besides, Kathy is spoken for. Alby goes on to accuse Nicki of stealing the $60,000 from the UEB, pointing out that she wasn't at the testimony and the sign-in sheets show that she was there from 2:00 to 2:45 p.m. Nicki starts to get all flustered and says that she wouldn't steal because she doesn't need their money. They have plenty of money and besides they just bought a new business. Alby is intrigued and asks what kind of business. "Gambling," blurts Nicki, "and it's worth a lot of money." Argh! SHUT UP, NICKI! "Weber Gaming?" Alby guesses, but Nicki doesn't need to answer because the pale look on her face says it all. Alby grins and leaves. Dammit.

At the studio, April Blessing tries to convince Sarah that she needs help. Sarah asks why she's so obsessed with her family and goes to leave, but April hits a nerve when she describes Barb as a good woman in a bad situation and that it's okay for Sarah to let her go. Sarah's near tears and while it's kind of true what April says, I do not trust that woman at all.

After Barb and Bill finish their dinner, they stop over at Margie's table to pick her up. Bill informs the clients at the table that Margie is actually his wife and he has one more at home with the kids. The clients are quiet but seem okay with it, but Barb looks like she just swallowed a bug. In the honeymoon suite, Margie is overjoyed that they've come out, but Barb says it was sabotage. As Margie chows down on some nuts from the mini-bar, she asks Barb to let her be the public wife for Weber Gaming and Barb can have Home Plus. Well, if they're going to acquire a businesses of decreasing morality for the wives to head up, what will Nicki's be? A brothel?

Back at the studio, Rhonda watches as Heather talks to her mom, presumably about Rhonda's threats. Finally! Rhonda begins her song, which is about a husband and wife caring for each other. I'm a little confused by this choice. It's a song about survival, according to Rhonda, so she survived polygamy and being married off at a young age so she can have a nice, monogamous marriage later on in life? I guess. But she's still only 15. They couldn't find a song a little more age appropriate? In any case, the song is very sweet and Rhonda's got quite the set of pipes on her.

In Roman's room, Alby watches as Lura pumps large doses of drugs into Roman's IV. Yikes. Alby creepily tells Roman to sleep and he'll avenge him. Roman mutters and turns toward the TV where he hears Rhonda belting out the song about being the happiest girl in the U.S.A.

Only two episodes left! Don't forget that they will now be on Sundays at 9 p.m.

Comments

[Sweetney]

love reading these. LOVE!

[Sweetney]

ps: want rhonda to be punched in the face so badly it burns.

[BaltimoreGal]

I don't even watch this (NO HBO- WEEP) but must say- LOVE the frocks.
Could they BE any more floral?

[Kelly]

dude, they were RIDICULOUSLY floral. like, flowers on top of flowers. Laura Ashley herself would have blushed.

[Jennifer]

When Bill mentioned that he had another wife at home, I was waiting for him to add "and she's a blond"

[Nicki]

I LOVE these updates far far more than I hate Rhonda, and that's a lot.

I can't wait to hear what happens to Alby because he's just not smart enough to get away with all of this.

[Alicia]

And since when did polygamy become so widely accepted that it makes Bill cool to the other gaming guys?

[Rhonda]

I loved the dresses! Hee! Can you imagine if Frank gets his nasty old hands on poor Kathy?! Eww..What a bastard.

I hope Adeline gets her gumption back and takes care of Alby and Lura.

I can't wait to see how the last two shows end. I can't imagine it's going to be too good for poor, dumb Nicki. She is battshit crazy lately.

Thanks for the recap!

[Suzy Q]

AWESOME recap! Makes me realize I missed some stuff; have to go back and re-watch.

I love Margie, too. She's so damn cute and puppylike. And HOT in that red dress. Unlike the Floral Nightmares Wanda and Kathy were decked out in. Those clothes alone would make me not want to be a Mormon.

Also, why did Barb have to call Bill home from his honeymoon with Margie for a kid with a fever? She had another spouse at hand to help her out, right? Or was Nicki just wallpaper back then?

Hi, Non-Evil Rhonda!

[veronica]

I looooove Margene (I in fact have a bit of a girl crush on her) and was POd at how she got dissed and made into "the secretary". But I give her props for trying to keep up the public front with the mistress bit...golden!

Oh, Barb needs to chill the f**k out. You might be 1st wife but that doesn't make you "best" wife.

Nicki....yup, crazy bat shit....love it!

[veronica]

Oh yea..I think I wore a dress similar to Wanda and Kathy's to a dance once *gag*. I was soooo excited to finally have a Laura Ashley dress....good lord what was I thinking!!!!

[Rhonda]

Hey there Suzy-Q! I can understand why she called Bill back from the honeymoon. She is not digging this whole sharing the husband concept! I think she's starting to hate her lifestyle. Sad really. I totally see her bolting from the family. I feel so sorry for her. She went from being the one and only to now just one of the wives. I think that's why she is so upset about Weber gaming. This was a decision that she used to be able to make with Bill - now it's a group decision and she got voted out! I can't even imagine. I would so not be okay with that.

Veronica - for my first Valentines dance in the 7th grade I wore a red Laura Ashley dress - I thought I was the shiznick! It's still hanging in my closet! I can't bear to part with it! I'm 34 - do the math - that dress is OLD. Patheticness brought to a new level.

[sarah]

HATE. RHONDA. She is pure evil.

I feel sorry for Barb (she seems really, really unhappy)... Margene is super cute though.

[Leslinka]

Ummm that song at the end gave me chills to the max! I was wondering if anyone knew where to find a video clip of it! I want to hear it again! I think the song choice was perfect.... age appropriate would have been a wrong choice because the whole point is that theses little girls have to grow up fast and be wives! It was irony that is why it was perfection!