Big Love Recap

Now that he's about to close on the Weber Gaming deal, Bill decides it's finally time to let his wives in on his dealings. Unfortunately, his wives have minds of their own (well, Nicki and Barb do, the jury's still out on Margene) and therefore conflicting opinions on the matter. Also, Roman is not dead but unfortunately neither is Alby, which leads me to believe that there is not a single competent wacked-out polygamist Mormon sister wife assassin in the whole state of Utah. Sad.

At her house, Nicki is curled up in bed watching news coverage of Roman's recovery, or lack thereof. The kids are bouncing around on her bed but she doesn't even notice them as she's fixated on Keith Olbermann. Heh, been there. I'm actually surprised that they would be watching Keith since he's liberal and I always got the impression that the Henricksons were quite conservative. Anyway, one good thing that's come out of all of this mess is that Nicki has let her hair go and it looks SO MUCH BETTER. Now I'm fantasizing about Nicki placing a call to Michelle Duggar and saying something along the lines of, "Seriously, we've held onto these hairstyles for no good reason. I say it's time we let go and lived our lives free from the shackles of the least flattering hairstyles ever seen by humankind. Come on, Michelle. Throw that blow dryer and Aqua Net into the trash! I'm here for you with refreshingly flat hair!" Anyway, now that Nicki is all distraught and out of it, Bill slides up to her and says, "So, there's this company I'm thinking of buying..." Nicki is barely able to pull her eyes away from the TV long enough to say, "Okay." Bill gingerly adds that the company is involved in gambling, but Nicki couldn't care less. She half shrugs and says that if Bill thinks it's good for them then he should go for it. Bill's glad but says that he's not sure if Barb or Margene will feel the same way. Nicki flatly offers to work on them for him.

At work, Peg (Don's wife) is pissed. As she stomps around, slamming doors and angrily grabbing reams of paper off of shelves, Don says that he finally told Peg about Weber Gaming and she is obviously not on board. Lois calls Bill's cell phone and tells him the Frank took everything. The camera pulls back and we see that Lois' nice furniture is gone and she's sitting on a lawn chair in her rather empty house. Bill is not sympathetic and hangs up despite Lois' protests. As rad as she is, Lois is a bit of a trouble maker and perhaps it's best for Bill to not have anything to do with her until after the sale goes through.

Bill and Barb escape in the middle of the day to go to the driving range. Bill casually brings up Weber Gaming and says that they make video games, kinda. Barb puts on her Million Mom March hat and says that video games are violent. Bill backtracks and says that they're like kinda like card games like poker kinda sorta. Barb is all, "Poker?!?!" but adds that she wants to know more of the details. She asks what Nicki and Margene think about it and Bill says that he came to Barb first, of course. Oh, you jerk. How are you going to play on Barb's insecurities just to get her on board? Barb is barely able to hide her smug smile. Poor Barb. She wants to be the most important person in Bill's life and it kills her that she's not. I'll keep that in mind when my husband tosses around the idea of marrying the baby sitter.

Roman, though alive, is not doing well. A couple of wives attempt to calm him down but he's delirious and ranting and singing. Adaleen discovers that he's bleeding and calls for the doctors who whisk him away for yet another surgery. Alby shows up but leaves quickly when he hears that Bill has called a meeting of the UEB. At the compound, Bill is trying to convince the other UEB members that they need an interim trustee to get all of their affairs in order. Alby busts in and accuses Bill of trying to oust the Grant family. Bill tells Alby that he has no business being at the meeting. Before leaving, Alby does this sweeping pointing motion and says ominously, "He is watching you all." Ooh, spooky. Alby leaves but it would have been much better if he had brought some of those smoke pellets that you can throw on the ground. His exit was not dramatic enough.

At Nicki's house, Barb stops by with some lunch and offers up her sympathy about Roman. Nicki's slightly irritated by Barb's presence and has to shush her when Barb sits on the coffee table and starts chomping on ice cubes. Ergh. My mom used to chew ice and it drove me nuts, too. Apparently it's a sign of sexual frustration. Get a vibrator, Barb! Barb, still under the impression that she was the first to know, tells Nicki that Bill approached her with his business proposal. Nicki says that she's fine with it, but Barb says that when she hears the details she might feel differently. Nicki replies that she doesn't care that it's involved with gambling. Barb asks how she knew that and Nicki tells her that she's not always the first to know about something. Barb tries to keep her head from exploding.

Margene is running some errands for Nicki at Home Plus and runs into Ben...and Greg, one of her co-workers from her days at Home Plus. They awkwardly reunite and Greg tries to trade old private jokes with her. Margene rushes off with Greg calling after her, "Hey, Margene! Diddly do!" Heh. Greg then tells Ben that Margene was the best piece of ass he ever had and then is shocked with Ben tackles him. In the parking lot, Margene is still a little flustered when Bill comes up beside her and tries to talk to her about Weber. Margene is all, "Yes, great...I mean, no...gambling is bad? No, it's okay...I don't know," before finally asking Bill to tell her what to think. For shame, Margene! Bill says that Nicki liked the idea and that made Bill happy so Margene says that she likes the Weber deal. Bill gives her a slap on the butt and says, "Thank you for shopping at Home Plus!" as he walks away. Hee!

Nicki is attempting to get past the security checkpoint at the compound and is finally allowed in. She pulls up to her mother's house and starts unloading a freezer. Adaleen is highly irritated to see Nicki and tells her she doesn't want a freezer or Nicki's support. Nicki persists and asks to at least see her sisters. Adaleen finally says that she can't stand to be around Nicki, so Nicki gets back in the truck leaving the freezer in the middle of the road. Instead of just driving off, Nicki backs up and rams into the freezer a couple of times amidst Adaleen's screams. Why is Adaleen upset if she didn't want the freezer? And what a waste of a good appliance. If Nicki's just giving them away, I could use a freezer.

At Scott's apartment, Lois drops by to see Sarah and bequeath her hideous "fur"-lined coat to her granddaughter. Ew, no thanks. Lois wails that Frank has stolen everything and that Bill's cut her off from her family and she doesn't know why. What a player. Scott shows up after his jog and Lois is a little surprised to realize that Scott and Sarah are a couple. Scott urges her to sue Frank since Utah is a community property state. Lois ponders this while staring at Scott's crotch. Awkward.

In his office, Bill asks Ben to explain why he tackled Greg. Ben vaguely says that Greg was speaking disrespectfully about Margene. Bill says that he knows that Margene dated other men before him but that he can't justify being jealous about it. He then instructs Ben to apologize to Greg.

At dinner, Barb is still not sold on the whole gambling thing, but Bill keeps insisting that it's only indirectly related to gambling. Under pressure, Bill reveals that he's already bought the company. This makes Barb even angrier and Margene is not so sure she's still okay with it, either.

Lois calls Barb and dances around the subject of Scott. Barb suspects Lois is up to something and says that Bill met Scott and felt that he was a good guy. Lois alludes to walking on on something going on between the two of them and Barb's premarital sex alarm goes off in her head. She's like Dot from Spaceballs and her virgin alert. When Sarah comes home, Barb tries to prod her with questions and is a little shocked to learn that Sarah met Scott at an ex-Mormon support group. Barb is all, "Ex-Mormon? Wha?" before finally sputtering, "Are you having pre-marital sex?" Sarah rolls her eyes and says that Mormons don't corner the market on morality. Duly noted, Sarah.

Margene goes to Nicki and asks where her freezer went. Margene pulls out a plastic bag because she's feeling sick and Nicki snaps that all Margene does is barf. Heh, I used to carry around plastic bags when I was newly pregnant, too. They're handy! Who wants to keep running to the toilet? Nicki totally brushes off the fact that she took a whole appliance from Margene's house and gave it away and scolds Margene for not being more sensitive to the fact that she's been forced out of her family. Margene listens to Nicki's tirade before finally retiring to the next room to barf into her plastic bag in peace.

At the UEB office, Adaleen is hopelessly sifting through a box of receipts. She starts to cry. Alby shows up and she tells him that Roman used to handle all of the transactions and just give her the receipts and whatnot. Now it's all a mess. Alby offers to stand in for Roman and Adaleen agrees, saying something about conduits for revelations. Yeah.

Joey calls Bill and tells him that Lois was arrested for breaking into Frank's house and ransacking the place, beating up some sister wives in the process. While Joey is on the phone, Wanda and Kathy are busy bringing Kathy's bags into the house. Joey asks why Bill is so interested in settling the UEB's affairs and Bill insists he just wants to make sure that they're all okay. Joey wonders if Bill's feeling guilty and says that it might seem suspicious since Bill was reportedly dealing with the Greens. Bill insists that he had nothing to do with Roman's shooting. Yikes. I'm guessing Bill's going to be viewed with suspicion especially with Alby potentially in charge.

At home, Barb approaches Nicki and apologizes for not being more sympathetic and for doing stuff like going and playing golf while Nicki is grieving. Nicki accepts the apology but says that Barb is pushing Bill too hard. Barb had compared Bill to a patriarch and Nicki says that the men on Mt. Rushmore are patriarchs but she wants Bill to be godly. She then goes on to say that she has heard of men getting operations on their breasts so that they can produce milk and nurse babies and is that what Barb wants Bill to be. What? Barb is totally confused and says no, of course not. I agree. I think the moms are doing a fine job nursing the babies and besides I really don't want to see Bill Paxton's moobs. Nicki says that she knows how to submit to the men in her life and that's why she's so happy. Yeah, she's just a bucket of joy. Margene enters the conversation and realizes that she is in a place of power since she's the swing vote.

In an attempt to get his wives to see how great the gaming business is, Bill takes them to a gaming center so they can see the video machines in action. Margene starts playing poker on one of the machines and Barb is shocked that at every move, a scantily clad woman on the screen removes a piece of clothing while moaning erotically. Nicki teases Margene that the woman looks like her. Heh. Nicki wanders over to the bingo pit and takes over for a woman who has to use the bathroom. Barb is even more convinced that this type of thing is not for them. Suddenly, Nicki calls out, "BINGO!" with a devilish grin. Over ice cream, the spouses discuss all the pros of the deal. Nicki hangs on the fact that they will be able to live more openly as polygamists since gamblers won't be in a place to judge them. Barb is increasingly cynical about the whole thing and demands that they vote on it the following night.

The next morning, Nicki is disgusted to discover that Rhonda is making the rounds on the local talk show circuit, feigning her sweet and innocent routine and just generally being hateful, as usual. Bill gets ready to go to the compound and is fretting about tithes that haven't been deposited and Alby sneaking around the UEB.

At Home Plus, Margene runs into Greg again when she wants to return something. After slimily telling her that they do whatever the customer wants, Margene rushes out of the store. Catching Ben's eye, Greg mockingly spanks himself with a ruler. Why is Greg doing that when it already got him tackled once and when he knows, presumably, that Bill is Ben's father? Is he trying to get sued for sexual harassment? Ben stops Margene and practically scolds her and tells her that Bill doesn't want her shopping at the store anymore. Margene is hurt at Bill's supposed demand and Ben's tone with her and informs Ben that Bill knows that she dated in the past and is fine with. At home, Barb is attempting to plunge the kitchen sink, which looks really gross. Margene sulks in and tells her about the drama at the store. Sensing an opportunity, Barb says that this is exactly what she means by patriarchy. She goes on to say that they have to think of the children and what their involvement in a gambling business will mean to them. Margene ponders this and Barb urges her to reconsider her position, but knows that she'll make the right choice. Ugh. Barb's been hanging out with Nicki too much, getting all manipulative and whatnot.

At Home Plus, Bill is complaining to Don about the upcoming vote. Peg says that it's a step back for them, as she grew up going to pawn shops and handling other scams to help keep her family afloat. Don, again with the red flags, says that it seems like everyone is against the deal. Bill says that they're going to do whatever he says they're going to do. Way to be a bullheaded jackass, Bill.

Nicki calls Alby at the hospital and offers to help with the UEB affairs, especially if it affords her the chance to see her father again. Alby agrees and tells her that there will be a testimony meeting for him that afternoon. Nicki offers to be there to speak in support of Alby's testimony.

At Joey's house, Bill is perturbed about the UEB meeting being canceled for the testimony meeting. He notices that Joey isn't really letting him into the house so Joey finally fesses up that Kathy has moved in and that he and Wanda are interested. Bill catches a glimpse of Wanda and Kathy working out on some exercise balls. They look funny and cute bouncing around in their compound dresses. Joey admits that he didn't received testimony about Kathy, but that he's very grateful to her for helping Wanda.

Barb has Heather's father over for coffee and asks him to allow Heather and Sarah to be friends again. She says that Heather has had a good influence on Sarah (including poo-pooing Scott) and that they both want the same things for their daughters, which is for them to be married to good LDS dudes. Oh, really? Does Bill know this?

At the compound, Bill goes to grill Lois about her arrest but he gives him a long list of businesses and assets that Frank has. Bill is shocked, but Lois isn't buying it since she found the receipt for Bill's payment to Frank for marrying Lois. Lois says that she's going to get a divorce but Bill says that he paid good money for that marriage and it's what she wanted anyway. Lois tells him he's going to pay for the divorce as well and drives away.

At the testimony meeting, Alby is standing in front of a bunch of Juniper Creekers, holding Roman's hat in his hand. One of the members asks Alby questions and then he, like, pinches his nose before putting his face in Roman's hat and coming up with some answers. Alby, channeling Roman, I guess, says that he is to take over during Roman's recovery and afterward. Adaleen stands up and says that it's true, that she received testimony earlier that day and that she saw Alby's face morph into Roman's and then into Joseph Smith's. Everyone's really impressed and it's determined that Alby will step in for Roman. Well, it's a good thing that this was all very obviously the work of the Lord and not at all a show put on by the family who might have a very strong interest in maintaining power. Ugh. Bill and Alby glare at each other while the congregation claps.

While this is going on, Nicki sneaks into Roman's office and starts snooping around. She finally finds a box that contains a LOT of money. Her eyes light up and she starts shoving stacks of money into a bag.

At the family vote, Margene surprises everyone by voting for the gaming company saying that she is thinking about her children and especially their financial security. Barb is like, "Whatever." Afterward, Margene stops Bill and asks him what's up with banning her from the store. Bill sets her straight and Margene says that she was never really into spanking, it was all Greg's idea. Bill ponders this for a second before calling Don and saying that he thinks they should transfer Greg to the other store.

Finally, we see Nicki looking right at home at the bingo table at the gaming center. So, she stole the cash to play bingo? What a nerd. And is this going to be her new financial problem now? She's a bingo addict? I'm familiar with this problem, as my mother-in-law and her mother are both bingo addicts. They read weekly publications called The Bingo Beat and my grandmother-in-law has a tshirt that says, "If there's no bingo in heaven, I'm not going!" I should see if they make it in Nicki's size. I'll send it to her with some lucky troll dolls and deluxe daubers.

Comments

[Rhonda]

This episode bugged me! I see problems around every corner. I know it makes for good drama but I wish they would tone it down a little.

Alby is going to be some serious trouble. I wonder why he was following around Sarah? I half expect him to say that God gave Sarah to him and he demands her for a bride.

I wish Nicki and Adelene would make up. I loved their crazy relationship.

Great recap!

[Suzy Q]

Hey, Rhonda! Good to see we didn't scare you off last week. Even though we KNOW you're totally evil!

I so love these recaps, Kelly. You always seem to include something I didn't catch when watching.

That testimony meeting was total bullshit. When I was watching that, aside from wanting to puke every time Alby dipped his nose into Roman's hat (which, really, how good could that smell?), I was wondering if that kinda stuff really goes on with the "testimony" and all. Sigh. Probably does. So, is testimony when you receive a vision from God or something? Religion is just not my forte. And Mormons are freaky!

Nikki has an addictive personality, which I can relate to. Next thing you know, she'll be the one smoking ciggies in the garage on the sly. Also, when is Margene going to start looking pregnant?

[Rhonda]

I guess I'm like a bad check that keeps turning up! LOL :p

The second I saw Nicki sit at that Bingo table, I though 'ah crap...here we go!'.

I'm off again to partake in my dastardly deeds! Ta Ta!

[rachel m]

Great recap. I swear I watched the entire episode but love you catch the little details that I missed.