MamaPop™

Wednesday Drive-By

Today's Drive By is dedicated to Robert Goulet, who passed away at 73 years of age while waiting for a lung transplant.

Don Vito: "Just Kill Me Now!"

Dude, careful what you wish for, come on*.

'member this guy? 

Have You Ever Smelled Mothballs?

How do you get their little legs apart?

Hehehehe... 

Have you ever dreamed of creating the finest knitted couture for the creepy-crawlies in your life?   While I am inclined to think that knitting such intricate and detailed items for a cockroach or centipede is, well, stark raving bonkers, there is something about these pictures of Althea Merback's "Bug Knits" collection that I find absolutely fascinating.  I'll admit it.  I think they're quite exquisite. 

Merback, a mom from Bloomington Indiana, has developed quite the cottage industry around miniature knits, and has recently knitted outfits for the entire cast of next year's animated film Coraline, directed by Henry Selick (who did The Nightmare Before Christmas).

More bug knits after the jump...

Production Begins on Lohan Reality Show

So E!, clearly *the classiest* network on cable, gave Dina Lohan a reality show in which we can all shake our heads at observe her as she ruins the life of shapes the career of Lindsay's little sis, Ali. Yesterday, production on the trainwreck show began.

Roberto Cavalli Blabs J-Lo's Not-So-Secret Secret

It's not exactly a secret that J-Lo is preggers with twins but it seems she and Skeletor like to pretend nobody knows. Thus, it was apparently a faux faux pas when designer Roberto Cavalli told People magazine, in the course of answering a question about dressing celebs:

All I Am Going To Say Is This...

I have that bra. That bra is from Target.

I ALSO HAVE THE MATCHING PANTIES.

Happy Halloween, betches. A whole lot more after the jump, because you know that is not all I am going to say, the big fat liar I am.

Celebrity Halloween Costumes!

I'll be damned if I know who or what that costume is supposed to represent, but that's Rumer Willis, daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore.  More costumed famous people after the jump!

BOO!

Happy Halloween from the morning crew at News 10 Sacramento.  These poor women were apologizing up and down for screaming, but I would have done the same thing.  Actually, I would have done more than scream -- perhaps take a swing at the monster, or (more likely) wet myself.

Britney Spears Loses, Again

People is reporting that Britney has had her visitation schedule changed to less access to the children.  She will only have access to her kids twice a week for the time being, a court document released Tuesday reveals.

She previously had access roughly every other day.  The two visits, which will be monitored, will only occur from 12 p.m. to 7 p.m. on one day, with an overnight from 12 p.m. to 10 a.m. on another day.  This is a major setback and it does not look like she will be regaining custody anytime soon.  The decision was based on a damning report from her parenting coach, Lisa Hacker, whom Britney missed three sessions with.

Hot Topics For Hot Mamas!

There is something very important going on over at MamaPopTalk and you are missing it: voting is underway for the new MamaPop Mascot. Which fine hunk of half-naked deliciousness would you like to grace the posts of MamaPop on a regular basis?  

Now, have no fear, there are other things going on over there. Of course, none so important as half-naked men, but they're close. We're talking about PCOS  and also dieting through a detox/fasting program .

Now, granted, those topics aren't as fun as LOLCats, because you never know when ceiling cat might be watching you masturbate.

Or as thought provoking as poor Paris's canceled trip to Rwanda (she found out there wasn't an inoculation for poverty and feared it might be catching.) (And also, it's dirty.)

But fear not, intrepid MPT ladies have found a way to suck up your time AND do something for humanity AND gain some smarts .

Phew. You better get over there!

Tuesday Drive-By

• The most famous celebrity baby that never was? Madonna's non-love child with Toupac!
• Kate Moss is officially taking applications for a new nanny.

For more awesome (like, totally) gossip, read on!

"Dan In Real Life" Review

Authored by Super Special Guest Poster and Honorary MamaPop Betch, Heather of No Pasa Nada

Humor me while I pretend that Steve Carell isn't married with two children... and that he is somewhat aware of my existence on this planet... and he has decided to whisk me away for an evening of witty repartee and general hilarity with so much laughter that I leave with tears in my eyes and a stitch in my side. I would try to keep up with the banter in between being completely mesmerized by his rapid raillery and genius.  It's not enough to say that Carell is hysterical -- it's that he carries himself and portrays his characters in such a way that you can feel for them even while laughing at them. Carell's very politically incorrect Michael Scott on The Office provides the perfect example: there are moments during the show when I cringe (anyone remember "Prison Mike"?) but then laugh, because even though it is laugh out loud funny and supposed to be, it also isn't overtly vulgar slapstick comedy. It's the subtleties and innuendoes that Carell is able to use so casually in his vernacular that brings me back to my dreams of someday being whisked away.

K-Fed's Totally Classy Girlfriend Tells All About Britney

Here at MamaPop we've gone from obsessed with Britney, to saddened and appalled by Britney, to flat-out depressed by Britney and wanting nothing to do with Britney, and then right back to obsessed. Gee, I wonder how long it will be before we finally reach Acceptance? Will this celebu-grieving never end? snort.

Okay, but since we're clearly back into deep obsession (and c'mon, you are too, admit it -- it's FREEING!), here's the latest dope, straight from the mouth of K-Fed's girlfriend Nicole Narain, who claims that -- among other things -- Britney breastfed while drinking and drugging. Oh lawd, here we go again...

Knocked Up? Angelina and Cate Plan Joint Baby Shower

Ok. The baby shower part was a fatuous lie, but it does look like both Angelina Jolie and Cate Blanchett might be feeling a bit barfy this morning as they choke down their saltines. 

And that's a big fat *might* considering the amount of times tabloid have "confirmed" Jolie as pregnant. 

But reports this morning indicate that Jolie has pulled out of an Italian human rights conference where she was scheduled to speak, and the papers there are claiming it's because she is pregnant--this, based on an italian spokeswoman for the conference who told The Sun newspaper:

"Angelina cancelled last week. Due to her privacy I can’t confirm her pregnancy, but I can say that the Italian newspapers are correct in their reports."

(in other words. "I couldn't possibly say, but, uhm, YES.")   

(allegedly).

Meanwhile, Cate Blanchett's less than skeletal figure these days might not just be because she's not longer doing the method acting bit for her role in the Bob Dylan biopic.  Pictures yesterday showed Blanchett with a pretty discernible bump, and she apparently did not drink a drop at least week's Elizabeth premiere parties. 

More Blanchett Bump after the Jump...

MamaPop Weekly TV News Wrap-Up

Welcome to another week of Fall TV lifelines being handed out in the looming shadow of the WAG strike. We're getting quite a few reports of extensions and script requests and hardly any cancellations. I'm not sure what this means, but I'm not complaining. (Well, not much anyway.)

Bargain Basement Bossy: Old School Halloween.

If you will, turn your attention to the Halloween costume on the left. Why? One word: it represents the fall of man. Hallowe'en—also known by the more common name Oíche Shamhna—originated in Ireland as a bonfire festival marking the end of the growing season. It was a night when the spirits of the dead were free to walk among the living. It was a night when the community dressed as otherworldly spirits in order to blend with the dead. It was a night when children consumed fistfuls of candy corn until their poop turned orange. It was not a night to work the pole.

Or maybe you think Bossy is overreacting. After all, the costume in the photo doesn’t represent a stripper; it’s a Mailperson. And Bossy’s mailperson always wears a miniskirt, so this costume makes perfect sense. Sure it’s understandable not everyone wants to dress as a shapeless ghoul or formless ghost—which is why with some help, Bossy compiled a list of Five Last-Minute Costumes that don’t require great legs or a degree from the Sex Kitten Institute.

Rehash Me Baby One More Time!

Lynne Spears has signed a deal to write a memoir about life as a showbiz family mama for Christian book publisher Thomas Nelson Inc.

Pop Culture Mom: A Real Story of Fame and Family in a Tabloid World has been marked for a somewhat tacky Mother's Day release on May 11, 2008.