K-Fed's Totally Classy Girlfriend Tells All About Britney

Here at MamaPop we've gone from obsessed with Britney, to saddened and appalled by Britney, to flat-out depressed by Britney and wanting nothing to do with Britney, and then right back to obsessed. Gee, I wonder how long it will be before we finally reach Acceptance? Will this celebu-grieving never end? snort.

Okay, but since we're clearly back into deep obsession (and c'mon, you are too, admit it -- it's FREEING!), here's the latest dope, straight from the mouth of K-Fed's girlfriend Nicole Narain, who claims that -- among other things -- Britney breastfed while drinking and drugging. Oh lawd, here we go again...

In the News Of The World story, Narain claims Federline confided the following to her:

"Britney's behaviour has already put our kids at risk and I can't let things get any worse."

"She's lost all grasp on reality and is dragging the children through hell. Her mood swings are now so wild that I live in fear  of getting a call telling me that she has killed herself."

"I can't allow her to have custody because I seriously believe she could harm our sons. I've shared her life and I know she's capable of anything with pills and a few drinks inside her."

Kevin has never spoken publicly about Britney, 25. But he confided his secret worries in emotional conversations with girlfriend Nicole Narain. She told the News of the World how he:

• CAUGHT Britney breast-feeding son Jayden, one, while DRUNK on vodka.
• FEARS her wild and erratic behaviour has "damaged" Jayden and two-year-old Sean.
• WARNED her to stop leaving the kids alone by the pool and driving them in the car without seatbelts.
• REALISED Britney is BISEXUAL after she made a pass at Nicole in a loo.

And the hits just keep on comin', don't they?

But the best part of the interview, at least in my book, was when former playmate Nicole (and OF COURSE she's a former playmate -- duh, we're talking about Kevin Federline's tastes here, people!) refers to Britney as being, and I quote, "Tacky."

Oh that's rich...

Those boots sure are, uhh, CLASSY. cough.

Comments

[Nic]

oh eeeewwwww.

And really, a girlfriend?

Honestly, I've been kind of, gag, impressed by how Federline's handled himself in the media with regards to this whole situation. There's not a whole lot of trash spewing from his camp, so I have to doubt the validity of this.

And really, Britney breastfed? Really? See, I think that's what killed the story for me.

[Amy H]

hilarious! thanks for sharing. :-)

[missbanshee]

Toe-less boots??????????? KLASSY. Boy, does that make her credible in my eyes. NOT.

[Izzy]

She has a certain stripperesque quality about her. It might be the shoes...

[sweetney]

also, i feel i need to say for the record: that top pic of brit? FRIGHTENING. orange skin + fish lips DOES NOT become her.

[Amy]

Why is Kevin Federline dating a drag queen? Has he already f***ed/impregnated every actual woman on the planet and now has to move on to the next best thing?

[Butrfly Garden]

I almost pitched a fit thinking SHE was calling the kids HERS.

Do you think it makes Brit feel worse or better that someone can get famous just claiming to know something about her? Do you think there's actually a line of girls waiting to date the loser JUST so they can get their names in the tabloids? Oh, what am I saying!? OF COURSE there is!

[Nic]

Amy, drag queens are pretty effective in the birth control arena. This could be one of KFed's smarter decisions.

[BaltimoreGal]

Those have got to be the cheapest shoes I have ever seen. Are they pleather? Or just straight-out garbage bag?

[disnazzio]

I am having serious problems keeping up with the Spearses/Federlines, here. I thought he had gotten back together with his other kids' mom whose name I cannot at all remember?