Two More Days Til Halloween! Halloween! Halloween! Silver Shamrock!

It's the most wonderful time of the year! It's almost Halloween! Now that the weather in this part of the world has finally started acting appropriately, it's much easier to get excited about the upcoming holiday, all things pumpkin (ie, pie, cookies, lattes), candy, costumes, fake blood, cider, and best of all...scary movies!

My husband and I are slowly rebuilding our DVD collection after a large portion of them were stolen. So we're taking the opportunity to buy some things that we've always been curious about or have always wanted. I guess since we started this project in the fall, it's not so surprising that we've been buying a lot of horror classics. I've been posting about them on mamapoptalk, but I'd like to give you this quick and dirty guide to scary movies. If you get a chance, go to your local cult video store some time this week, pick up one of these flicks, make some popcorn, turn out the lights, and freak out quietly inside your own head.

First up is Monster Squad. This was on HBO constantly when I was a kid. I loved loved loved it then and of course watching it now I realize that it's kind of terrible. But it's still fun to watch. Basic premise is that a group of outsider kids have a monster club. Dracula makes his way to the states and resurrects some of his buddies, namely Wolf Man, Frankenstein's monster, Swamp Thing, and a mummy. They terrorize the suburbs trying to find this amulet that once every hundred years will allow monsters to rule the world if they gain possession of it. Or something like that. Anyway, aside from a few swear words, this is fun one to watch with the kids.

The Innocents. I was really skeptical about this one. It's an adaptation of Turn of the Screw (which, full disclosure, I've never read), and basically a governess goes to live with this rich guy's niece and nephew in this cold, scary mansion in the middle of nowhere. The kids seem perfectly lovely and angelic...sorta. But tales of the governess before her and the children's effect on her lead Miss Giddens, played by the recently deceased Deborah Kerr, to suspect that something is not quite right with the children. She begins to question them and the minimal house staff with chilling results. Seriously, this movie is really, really creepy.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch. This is the only movie in the Halloween saga to not feature Michael Meyers. As such, it's been somewhat forgotten. With a week to go until Halloween, kids are scrambling for masks made by a small company called Silver Shamrock. The commercial for the company always entrances the kids with its hypnotic graphics and incessant jingle but the parents see nothing wrong. A down-on-his-luck doctor, who is struggling with his ex-wife over their two kids, starts checking around about Silver Shamrock after a crazed man is brought into his hospital, clutching a Silver Shamrock mask, and screaming, "They're going to kill us all!" The movie definitely has some classic 80s cheese going on, but it's still good and scary. There's relatively little gore, but, you know, use your judgment before eating a huge plate of nachos before watching this is all I'm saying.

Hellraiser. Another classic from the 80s. If you have the OnDemand service through your cable company, you may have a section called FearNet. Also, the AMC channel is showing Halloween classics and this is one of them. A family has the misfortune of finding an odd puzzle box that, when manipulated just so, opens the gates to hell and summons demons. Total drag.

Maniac. We picked this one up mostly because Tom Savini did the effects and we're huge fans of his. But we were intrigued by the description on the case, which calls the flick "one of the most relentlessly depraved films of our  time." When it was over, I turned to the husband and said, "Well...that was pretty effing depraved." I mean, it is, but it's also just a pretty good movie. Frank Zito, who has a thing for mannequins, starts a terrifying killing spree. It all seems pretty senseless at first, but we soon find out that Frank is dealing with some serious issues stemming from childhood abuse that can't even be imagined. As he struggles with his urge to kill, which he seems to think stems from someone outside of himself, Frank quickly unravels and descends into complete insanity. He is terrifying and pitiful and his soothing speech is unbelievably scary.

Suspiria. Scariest. Movie. Ever. Also, kind of a masterpiece. A young woman arrives at a ballet academy to find everyone acting a little weird. A bizarre series of freak tragedies gets her mind wandering and her roommate knows something is afoot. The scenery and the music are so wild and amazing and the brutality of the murders is completely shocking. The husband insisted on watching this with the lights OFF and halfway through I insisted that we turn them back on (am a chicken). But, scary as it was, this movie was really REALLY good. Maybe watch this during the daytime or something.

Black Sheep. Oh my god...New Zealand genetic sheep experiment zombie horror comedy. Do I really need to say any more? There are a couple gag-worthy moments but for the most part it's just really really funny. I know it's lazy to compare any non-U.S. horror comedy to Shaun of the Dead, but if you liked Shaun, you'll really like this one.

Satan's Little Helper. I was pretty "meh" about this one, but the husband insists it was great. A lot of it just didn't make sense, which is extremely common in horror movies, but I was mostly annoyed by the daughter and her relationship with her mom, which could only be described as WTF. Also, the son is just a huge turd and I hate him. I was really looking forward to him getting killed. But it does kind of shift gears about midway through and get kind of crazy and manages to move past the straight-to-video feel.

We have a few more that we have yet to watch, namely Dead Alive (directed by a young Peter Jackson!), Evil Dead, Halloween (both of which we've seen plenty of times before just not this Halloween season) and Freaks. Also, it's not Halloween for me if I don't watch The Worst Witch.