Katie Holmes Finishes NY Marathon; Her Boobs Finish A Few Minutes Later

Katie Holmes ran the New York Marathon yesterday. She even finished it.

Tom was, reportedly, right there with Scientolotot Suri secure at his side, waiting for Katie as she crossed the finish line. No word on whether she collapsed into his arms. Probably not; he's pretty short so it'd probably be a bit of a drop for her.

I think she finished, like, 34,195th out of a field of about 34,198, but who counts these things anyway?  We all know that she didn't run this thing for the pure joy of feeling her lungs burst and her muscles strain to the breaking point: she did marathon-training in preparation for when she has to outrun the Disciple of Xenu and his henchweirdos - you know, for the day that she makes her break from Compound Cruise with Suri strapped to her back and all the Calvin Klein that she can pack into two medium-sized Louis Vuitton carry-on bags. You gotta be in peak cardiovascular condition to pull that off, because those Scientologists are pretty fast, and LV luggage can get heavy.

I joke, of course. It's an amazing achievement, to run a marathon. It's even more amazing to run a marathon without a bra. (Picture after the jump)

Seriously, Katie - no bra? My boobs are hurting just thinking about it. 26-plus sweaty miles with the girls just flapping and chafing? Aaaaarrrgh. I mean, I know that she's pretty small-chested, but still: she's not no-chested, and she does, after all have nipples. She needs a sports bra, or at least a snugger tank-top.

On the plus side, she has demonstrated to all of us that even celebrity boobs sometimes go lop-sided after having babies. Celebrities are just like us!

Comments

[marymuses]

She probably thought, "My boobs are smallish, the shelf bra built into this sportlike top will work just fine." For twenty-six bouncy miles? Oh, Katie.

I know I've used tanks with built-in bras that worked great, but those were designed specifically for running, not for fashion. But I don't suppose that Valentino makes running gear, so that's probably the problem right there.

[sweetney]

funniest. scientology post. evar.

RUN KATIE, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!

[Maxine Dangerous]

OMG, totally awesome ... Compound Cruise, etc. LOL! :)

[missbanshee]

The sternum...It is TERRIFYING.

I'm WAY flat-chested, but if I was running a marathon (HA! HAHAHAHAHHA!!!! Yeah RIGHT) You better believe I would wear a sports bra. I don't even want to imagine the CHAFING. Ow, my boobs hurt just thinking about it.

Oh, and the image of Katie sprinting out of the Scientology compound with Suri and her fabulous luggage with Tommy toddling after her on his teeny legs? Laughing FOREVER.

[Kirsten]

OMG I am peeing my pants over here right now HBM.

The vision of Katie running away... we can only hope. I want to know why she didn't meld into the throngs of the 34000 others and just get the hell away from ScienTom.... but whatever.

But no bra? I'm sitting in front of my computer right now in my PJs and the girls hurt. I can't imagine running without one. OW.

[Miss Britt]

Scientologists aren't allowed to wear bras.

They interfere with the signal from the mothership.

[AmyC65]

My girls are BIG and must be bound anytime I am vertical. These photos of Katie make me hurt. Plastic surgeons all over Beverly Hills are cheering at this image, though. Future work for them.

[DianaCLT]

Does she WANT to have 80-year-old breasts on her 20-something body??? WTF?!? Having a baby already starts the girls on their journey south...but to then add the abuse of 26 braless miles?!? Seriously...just look at the 1st picture in comparison with the 3rd picture...her boobs dropped at least 5 inches, just during the race!

[kr]

i agree - the first photo she looks pretty good, really! The last two... like a different person .. poor girls... ouch!