Paris Tried To Make Them Go To Rehab, And They Said No, No, No...

Just when you thought that Paris only cared about shoes, bags, and boys, she done turns around and tries to save the world. Or, at least, the elephants. Because, you know, they've been drinking. A lot. And she knows well of the hell that is alcohol and drug abuse. So she's going to intervene! With the elephants!

The Associated Press reported yesterday that Paris has turned her charitable energies to the plight of elephant alcoholism in India.

(Read on...)

“The elephants get drunk all the time. It is becoming really dangerous. We need to stop making alcohol available to them,” the 26-year-old socialite was quoted as saying. She was referring to an incident last month involving a pack of rampaging elephants that got drunk on rice beer. The elephants went on a rampage, ~~got into cars and violated the terms of their probation~~ then uprooted an electricity pole and were jolted to death.

“There would have been more casualties if the villagers hadn’t chased them away. And four elephants died in a similar way three years ago. It is just so sad,” Hilton was quoted as saying in last week in Tokyo, where she was judging a beauty contest.

Oh, god, I so want this story to be true.* I mean, I thought that the story about the mice was pretty freaking awesome (and believe me, I've been trying for whole minutes to come up with a joke involving stunned mice and drunk elephants. Help me out here?), but this really takes the cake. Would she try to get them into rehab? Would she offer peer counselling? There's, like, a whole reality show right here: Paris mentors the drunks elephants. I'd watch it, for sure.

*AP says now that Paris' publicist has issued a denial and has stated that Paris does not, in fact, want to help the elephants with their alcoholism. Maybe she's moved on to Amy Winehouse? More challenging than an elephant, for sure, but none of those massive shit piles.

(Source: News.com.au)

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