Hollywood Producer Can't Keep It In His Pants, What Else Is New

In the United States we're supposed to consider you innocent until proven guilty, so let's all try to stay in a higher frame of mind while reading the bizarre accusations being hurled at Napoleonic Hollywood producer Jon Peters.

According to Thursday's Los Angeles Times, three former employees of the powerful former hairdresser have filed suit against him. One complaint alleges that Peters "systematically sexually harassed" employee Bianca Hernandez at his Malibu Colony home, once trying to push her into bed while he was naked, and another time trying to fondle her breasts, which he charmingly referred to as "pillows." Irresistible, the bare-assed advances of a 62-year-old Flashdance-producing troll who used to perm Barbra Streisand's hair. Dontcha think?

But the second suit, that one takes the cake. More loathsome behavior we're not being judgmental at all about after the jump!

The second suit against Peters, filed by former servants Adriana and Andrew Silveira, accuses Peters of threatening to fire Andrew Silveira if he didn't make his pregnant wife have an abortion. Generalissimo Peters' repulsive demands went unmet, naturally, because -- and this is the funny thing about living in a free society -- your wife's uterus is protected by the Supreme Fucking Court. Peters, however, who apparently wears a tinfoil antenna to better receive messages from his home planet, Entitletron, rules his own little seaside kingdom with a hard heart and a cold speculum. He fired the husband by e-mail.

A well-known egomaniac in a town bursting at the seams with people who lack impulse control, Peters is routinely banned from sets, perhaps because he insistently suggests that directors rewrite their scripts to add giant spiders and funny talking robots. Orson Welles he ain't.

Meanwhile, Peters' sixteen-year-old daughter, Skye, got in trouble last weekend when the cops were called before dawn to break up her little underage party with Nicky and Paris's little brother, wee Barron Hilton, also sixteen, at the Bel Air Hotel. This gave Papa Jon the rare opportunity to take the moral high ground and issue a statement asking why Skye's mom, his ex-wife Christine, isn't keeping a closer eye on their high school sophomore. Of course, this all happened on the same weekend he'd evicted Christine from the house they used to share, so maybe it was either take the kid to the Bel Air or let her park out at Zuma Beach and sleep in the back of Hilton's Camaro, right?

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