Coming Soon To An eBay Auction Near You: One Slightly Used Former Sitcom Star
BREAKING NEWS: Gary Coleman just got married.
You know? Gary Coleman? Diff'rent Strokes? Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis? C'mon. You know that you had a Diff'rent Strokes poster in your locker. I did. I had the hots for Mr. Drummond. (I also had a bit of a grade-school girl crush on Kimberly so that was a little confusing.)
Anyhoo.
So Gary - who, you will note, is like 40-something and looking a little grizzled these days - oh, and, also? not so tall - just married Shannon Price, who is 22 years old and not-so-grizzled and not-so-short. But no short jokes, please. Shannon won't have any of it: “He was ten feet tall to me because he was sweet and I really liked his personality. That doesn’t really matter to me."
Which seems sweet and all, but I just don't trust her. Shannon's an 'e-Bayer,' which I presume means someone who buys and sells shit on e-Bay, and Gary wants her to get famous for her superlative e-Bay skills - "She’s a great e-Bayer. She’s a fabulous e-Bayer. I hope she gets famous for that” - which is nice and all, but does he not see the writing on the wall? Six-foot-tall fanatic e-Bayer marries really tiny seventies TV-sitcom star? She doesn't look at him and see a few feet of sweetness: she looks at him and sees '1970's TELEVISION MEMORABILIA "Diffrent Strokes" star w/ orig pckging STARTING BID US$99.00 ships worldwide.'
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Posted by Catherine on February 13, 2008 in Celeb Couple Watch
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That photo is frightening! He with the "Oh crap" expression, and she with the gummy grin. It's as though he just caught on to her nefarious little plan...
Posted by: Amy | February 13, 2008 at 10:18 AM
Wait, what?
Also, an e-Bayer?? That is a stupid term and it's not something anyone I know has ever aspired to be or become famous from.
I'm definitely suspicious of this bizarre situation.
Posted by: Liana | February 13, 2008 at 10:32 AM
Do you have her ebay username by any chance?
My daughter's birthday is coming up. She would love a Gary Coleman.
Posted by: Miss Britt | February 13, 2008 at 10:55 AM
That woman's mouth is terrifying.
Posted by: missbanshee | February 13, 2008 at 11:21 AM
Ahhhh...does that mean Gary has finally lost his virginity? He made a big deal about his still being a virgin a couple of years ago. I'm sure those 5 seconds of their wedding night were exhilarating. :-D
Posted by: DianaCLT | February 13, 2008 at 12:57 PM
Hmm ... if one can get famous for "eBaying," does it also follow that it is possible for one to get famous for Google-fu? Because I has it. Mai Google skilz, let me sho u dem!
Posted by: rockle | February 13, 2008 at 04:17 PM
LMAO I just saw Avenue Q last weekend and one of the lines is that Gary Coleman (yes, that Gary Coleman) who is a character in the show, sells his shit on EBay. If you want to hear the song, I have a clip on my snapshotchronicles.com blog
Posted by: Susan Getgood | March 19, 2008 at 11:09 PM
Eeeewww ... no sleep for me tonight as I try to ward off the "Whatchu talk'in 'bout, Willis?" nightmares.
Again, ick.
M&M
Posted by: Maternal Mirth | April 18, 2008 at 05:19 PM