Hey, Y'all, Britney's A Mad Cow!

I'm usually sympathetic to groups like PETA. I love animals, and so I'm pretty happy that there's someone out there doing the hard work of defending them. You know, doing stuff like getting naked and throwing paint on Anna Wintour and her furs, which totally sounds like it would be fun if I weren't so, you know, busy.

But I think that they're reaching a little bit in their latest bid for attention: releasing a letter stating their concern that Britney Spears' general psychological trainwreckage is due to over-consumption of cow-byproducts. All those frappuccinos and beef tacos, y'all: they makin' her crrrrazy!

According to PETA, studies show that people with dairy sensitivities are vulnerable to worsened cases of bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. They also say that parasites found in undercooked meats have been linked to the development of schizophrenia. So, PETA says that Britney be able to get herself off the track of trainwreckage by switching to a vegan diet. Specifically, one that is high in bean consumption, because apparently the consumption of beans can help improve such conditions.

I don't know. I'm all for people going vegan - people other than me, of course; I needs me my cheese and ice cream - but Britney? Take away Brit's frapps and put her on an all-bean diet, and you're just going to have one boring, cranky and flatulent former pop sensation. Which means, basically, that she'll just have turned into Paul McCartney. And that doesn't sound interesting at all.

Source, Source

Comments

[Sils]

I'm a pescatarian, I tried being a vegan for a while... it was way too hard. I mean, I'm careful about where my cheese and eggs come from but I missed being able to have dinner with my friends.

That was totally a personal aside and unrelated to your entire story here.

[Amy]

Mmmmm... caramel frappuccino...

[Amber]

Oh, whatever. Fiona Apple is vegan and she's a giant crazy.

I know that's poor logic, but every vegan I've ever known was certifiable.

[leslie]

or that sounds COMPLETELY interesting!

[DianaCLT]

Dear God, what is PETA thinking? Sure, the cows will be better off (alive, for instance) if Brit goes vegan, but us humans will have to suffer the firestorm of farts that will ensue from Britney's ass. Girl already belches like a gaggle of truck drivers, do we really need her blowing wind from both ends???

[BaltimoreGal]

Dang it- I'm lactose intolerant. Of course, that's what Lactaid (and the generic) is for.