MamaPop™

Brad And Angie Do It In Multiples

Been wondering about that secretive Brangelina pregnancy? You know, the one that WASN'T paraded down the red carpet last weekend for us to examine with our snark-binoculars? Here's some scoop: Brad Pitt has, apparently, been telling family and friends that he and Angelina are having - wait for it - twins.

TWINS.

In other news, he got a haircut.

The Stars Are Just Like Us! They Drink Ketchup!

I don't care what anybody says: drinking ketchup - as Miley Cyrus did on Leno the other night - straight out of a bottle IS NOT NORMAL. And I say this as a pregnant woman who has been trying to grill chocolate in a cast-iron skillet and who would, were the ground not entirely frozen up here in Canadialand, seriously consider spooning some dirt onto a double-decker fig-newton garnished ice cream sundae (am anemic; leave me alone). I know from weird cravings, and a craving for ketchup, straight-up from the squeeze bottle? BEYOND weird.

"That's not Pearl right there, that's an animatronic baby."

Because the success of FunnyOrDie.com has wholly depended upon "The Landlord," l say let's milk it for all it's worth while we cross-promote the crap out of Will Farrell's sports comedy project #3,998,078.

Honestly? I loved Talladga Nights -- I can quote it in 33 languages, including Aramaic -- but seriously, Will, that soccer movie was kind of a mistake, and that ice skating thing was pretty dumb, too. And now it's come down to "Semi-Pro." I know the A.B.A. is ripe for parody, with the afros and the tube socks and the cute little shorts, but if ever the world of sports comedy needed another Slap Shot, NOW IS THAT TIME.

Fortunately, Newsday reports that Ferrell's giving the sports films a rest after this.

I Praise You: Steve Wiebe

I don't know how many of y'all betches are arcade game dorks*, but if you are, you've probably seen The King of Kong, and you know exactly what I'm going to say. Maybe you'll say it with me.

I love Steve Wiebe. Because of who he is, because of what he accomplishes, and because he's a totally perfect palate-cleanser for your blackhearted election-year, celeb-gossip cynicism. Netflix his movie, like, yesterday.

Photo In Search of a Caption: Mary-Kate at Paris Fashion Week

*bemused silence*

Have at it, betches and any particularly catty bestards.

Friday Eye Candy: The Kelly Edition

It's time for Kelly's Eye Candy Picks!

Javier Bardem

Two Doctors Under Investigation in Heath Ledger Death

Two doctors are being investigated in regards to their role in the accidental overdose of Heath Ledger by the DEA.  “We are investigating doctors in Los Angeles and Texas with regard to Ledger’s prescriptions,” the source tells PEOPLE.  However, the source did not say whether any wrongdoing is involved, saying, “We don’t know yet. The agents were there this week, and we are waiting to hear from them.”

The doctors in question are thought to have supplied Ledger with Oxycontin and Vicodin, law enforcement sources tell New York's Daily News. At issue is whether or not the powerful painkiller were prescribed legally. The subpoenaing of Ledger's autopsy results by the Drug Enforcement Administration was reported shortly after the findings of the report were announced. On Feb. 6, it was said that the DEA would look into the source of the actor's prescriptions.

At issue in the investigation, in addition to whether the medications were legally prescribed, is whether any "doctor shopping" took place to obtain the pills—i.e., whether the patient went to several doctors in an effort to score more prescriptions than one single doctor would dispense.

source,   source

Ashlee Simpson Is Not Up the Stick

Ashlee Simpson confirmed for TMZ.com that she is not, in fact, pregnant.

And I'm glad. Not because "OMG, why are all of these unmarried twentysomethings having sex!" but because between the two of them, that baby would have a seriously effed up "scene" hairdo.

Hulk Hooked Up With Daughter's Friend

 

Hat tip to Celebitchy for this Klassy-With-A-K news.

Spoiler Alert! Diebold Accidentally Leaks Results Of 2008 Election

"If you can't trust your shadowy overlords to keep a secret, then what is the purpose, really, of participating in the puppet democracy?"

That's it. The Onion News Network is now traveling into The Daily Show territory in terms of awesomeness. Yes, I just said that.

Kate Moss Sells Drugs

Oh, hush, they're just nicotine patches.

Kate Moss is reportedly trying to clean up her act, eat her spinach, and quit smoking. Even though she's still at the top of her game, the writing's on the wall for the model, 35, who smokes up to two packs a day. The Daily Mail reports that Moss bought a juggernaut of Nicorette patches and moves them around on her body during fashion shoots so they won't be in the frame. And if anyone asks if they can bum one from her she says sure and then hits them up for $3.00.

"People are very surprised when she tries to charge them for one as it's the last thing you'd expect from a megabucks model.

"But she laughs with it and says it's her little business on the side. The look on people's faces when she says she has to make some spare cash somehow is hilarious!

"She is trying desperately to ditch the fags as they are not good for her daughter Lila Grace, and they are not doing her skin any favours either."

Moss is pictured here in London going out with fellow fashionisa Kelly Osbourne, who enjoys life as Kate's evil twin. "Okay, YOU wear the healthy glow and I'll continue with the deathly pallor, otherwise how would people tell us apart?!"

Nicole Richie's Million Dollar Baby

[Picture removed because, er, um, COPYRIGHT AND SHIT. That's right. We important enough now to attract lawyers from People Magazine. Which, okay, dubious distinction, but still.)

So. This is what People Magazine paid ONE! MILLION! DOLLARS! for (you can't see it, I know. Guess when a mag pays ONE MILLION DOLLARS for a baby mug they don'ts wants to shareses. SORRY). Some baby pictures. Some pretty adorable baby pictures (trust me on this), but still. I would have ponied some of my own for a lot less than that. Okay, so maybe I don't have skinny little arms like Nicole, but you can Photoshop that shit.

ANYWAY.

 

Jerry Seinfeld Says Just Kidding, Don't Sue Me.

I have no idea why I am so obsessed with the Jerry Seinfeld plagiarism matter.  Maybe it is because he has turned into such an ass.  Maybe it's because, even I, am sick of Britney.

Jerry and Jessica filed a motion to dismiss the defamation lawsuit because Jerry claims he was just doing his shtick last October when he trashed the "vegetable plagiarism" suit the Sneaky Chef author,  Missy Chase Lapine, filed against his wife.  "Jerry Seinfeld made overstatements of opinion for comic effect," his lawyers said.  Jerry also cracked that other people with three names - like Mark David Chapman and James Earl Ray - turned out to be assassins.

The Little Girl With the Big Voice

If you watched the Oscar's on Sunday, it was hard to miss the little girl who sang the nominated song from August Rush. And she sang the SHIT out of that song.

Over in our forums, everybody had the same assessment: future American Idol contestant. (Speaking of THAT, don't forget to stop by our open thread tonight, starting at 8 pm ET.)

And then I outdorked myself by pointing out that Jamia Simone Nash is actually doing pretty well now, albeit among the toddler set. Besides appearing in August Rush, she's the mini-powerhouse singing voice of Uniqua from The Backyardigans. If you do not hang out with preschoolers, let me assure you that Uniqua might as well be the animated equivalent to Hannah Fucking Montana.

Funny People Continue F**king Each Other

I know you probably think you're SO over the "I'm f**king [insert star name here]" viral video genre at this point, but please believe me when I say OH YOU ARE SO NOT. Because this here parody video -- shot on the set of Kevin Smith's next flick and starring Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, Jason Mewes, and Traci Lords, among others -- is 110% MUST-SEE COMEDY GOLD.

Mimi, You Be Nice to Kenneth!

I was pretty much done with Mariah Carey after she went through that period of getting three minutes of sleep a night and then babbling like a cracked-out chipmunk that's been given a pair of giant ceremonial scissors to open a new Circuit City. Because I thought if we all stopped paying attention maybe she'd hire a personal assistant who'd run her a nice hot bath and unplug her phone for seven years.

Well, it worked! Mimi drank some chamomile tea and took a nice long nap and then got up in time for 30 Rock and loved it so much she got Kenneth the intern page to be in her new video! The song sounds like generic top 40 that will make her another million bucks and her outfits should be shipped back to the schoolgirl fantasy catalog warehouse, but Kenneth wearing a Viking helmet and serenading her on air guitar, well! It won't make me like the song any better, but as long as she doesn't get him into trouble with his church, it's all good.

Oscars: Sad About Renfro, Not Sad Enough for Our Montage

During our Oscars extravaganza on MamaPopTalk the other night, I warned everyone that montages always make me cry, particularly the "People Who Died" montage. And if you watched the Oscars, you probably noticed that Heath Ledger closed that montage, rounding out a list of other actors, producers, directors, and studio executives. Noticeably absent, however, was Brad Renfro who died a mere week before Heath Ledger.