Salma Hayek's Unearthly Boobs: Natural Wonder, Or Science Fiction?

I do not, I promise, have any kind of boob fixation, beyond what I understand to be the normal set of fixations that every woman has with her own boobs and whatever deficiencies attend said rack (in my own case, these are many). That said, I have to admit that I am mesmerized by Salma Hayek's rack. MESMERIZED. Every picture of her, there they are, in their full globular, lunartastic glory, orbs the size of Jupiter's minor moons, looming in the foreground, putting all other globes to shame.

It's not like she even flaunts them. She doesn't have to. They're just there, drawing small satellites into their orbit and causing the odd minor eclipse of lesser bodies.

To wit: the above photograph. Salma, bless her well-padded heart, is wearing what can only be described as a Hideous Tan Pantsuit, of the sort that Mary Tyler Moore wore in the latter days of The Mary Tyler Show and which ordinarily only comes in certain blends of polyester and achieves its greatest effect when topped with a tight perm. But Salma - dear, pneumatic Salma - need only pair her HTP with a low-cut eggplant blouse and voila! ALL YOU SEE ARE THE TITTIES. The Hideous Tan Pantsuit recedes entirely into the background, a sartorial afterthought to the purple balloons being brandished gaily out front. Is it magic? Or science? I cannot, for the life of me, figure this out, and so it is that I am condemned to stare obsessively at this picture, trying to work out whether George Lucas and the Industrial Light and Magic team has anything to do with the Salma Effect, for the rest of the morning, or until I come down off of this caffeine rush.

Comments

[anna]

Catherine Tate has similarly unearthly boobs, as long as she's not playing Lauren Cooper, Joannie Taylor, or other not-well-breasted characters.

[Suzy Q]

They're also twice the size they were before she got pregnant. I want to know what bras she wears.

[Maxine Dangerous]

"All You See Are the Titties" needs to be the title of a book. Perfect. :) Of course I made the mistake of scrolling back up to correctly type the phrase, saw the link to "There Will Be Blood," and damn near typed "There Will Be Titties." Which could -also- be a book title.

:)

[Sils]

She's always been pretty busty because she's maintained her natural weight -- she's not overweight, but she doesn't starve herself. The result? A totally knockout, voluptuous figure. Salma Heyak is one of about 5 celebrities whose bodies I actually envy.

Also, my B cup sister went to a D after having her first baby and never returned.

[rhi]

Why must the HTP eat her feet? WHY? I'm sure she can afford a tailor.

[pgoodness]

I have to say, Salma's boobs have always been mesmerizing. And my hubby has been in love with her ever since that scene in From Dusk til Dawn.