DEAR HULKY!

Dear Hulk,

What skills, exactly, does it take to become a $5,500 an hour hooker? Please explain.

Nicole

HULK KNOW THE ANSWER TO THIS ONE! NICOLE CANNOT STUMP THE HULK!

HULK ONCE VERY POOR, TRY TO CONVINCE RICH PERSON HULK DESERVE $5,500 AN HOUR. RICH PERSON TRY TO EXPLOIT HULK'S SEXUALITY, HULK GET VERY ANGRY! HULK EXERCISE HUMAN RIGHTS! EVEN THOUGH HULK NOT TECHNICALLY HUMAN.

HULK THINK THAT FOR PERSON TO EARN $5,500 AN HOUR, PERSON EITHER NEED LOTS OF EDUCATION OR BE REALLY GOOD AT PRETENDING TO ENJOY BEING ABUSED. HULK THINK SUCCESSFUL PROSTITUTE REALLY GOOD AT PRETENDING. ALSO HELPS TO BE PRETTY?

THIS QUESTION MAKE HULK SAD.

AFTER JUMP: ANN TOO PICKY TO FIND BOYFRIEND?

Dear Hulk,

I would like to have a boyfriend. It has been a long time since I have had a boyfriend.

I think I might be too picky. I like guys who have jobs and don't live with their mom.

I also like them to be nice. And smart. And funny. And with no tattoos or piercings on their face or genitalia.

Is this hopeless? Am I asking too much?

Ann

HULK THINK ANN SOUND NICE!

HULK LONELY SOMETIMES, TOO. HULK TRAPPED IN BIG GREEN ANGRY BODY! WHO WOULD LOVE HULK? YET HERE HULK AM, IN BED WITH LAPTOP AND CELESTIAL SEASONINGS "TENSION TAMER" TEA, WRITING TO ANN, AND HULK HAPPY!

HULK DO TAROT READING FOR ANN!

REVERSED ACE OF CUPS, HMM. TIME OF HEARTBREAK, ROMANTIC DISAPPOINTMENT. NEXT CARD EXCITING, THOUGH! JUDGMENT CARD! SOON, END OF ERA, GRADUATION, TRANSITION, PURIFICATION. MAYBE YOU MEET SOMEONE AT A SPA!

SO DON'T HURRY, ANN! EMBRACE OPENNESS AND UNPREDICTABILITY OF LIFE! BOYFRIEND WILL COME.

NEXT WEEK HULK TACKLE INFERTILITY AND HOW TO LOSE BABY WEIGHT!