Heidi Klum: What Can I Say?

Why, Heidi? Why do you do this? I mean, it's one thing when you deep-throat hoagies on the ski slopes or when you fondle your tits on live television, but do you really have to adopt these postures when you're with your kids? Because, damn. There are just SO MANY GOOD POSSIBLE LINES about the way that  you're mouthing that fruit and I cannot use a single one of them because you are WITH YOUR KIDS. I mean, COME ON.

In any case, you know that you don't need to stick that thing so far down your throat, right? I know, it seems like you should just wrap your mouth around it and get as much in as possible - it's so long - but although that might be more efficient, you just enjoy the experience that much less. Try just working on the tip. Maybe just nibble it a little, a bit at a time? Not too hard, though. They bruise.

Of course, if you enjoy jamming it down your throat, that's fine, too. To each her own. But again - could maybe do it without the kids around next time? So that I can put a caption like Heidi Klum Takes A Big One In The Mouth without feeling all skeevy? Kthx.

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Comments

[Martha]

Maybe she tried to include the thoughts of Seal in the picture, since he couldn't be present? ;)

[AmyC65]

I really, really like Heidi. She is so gorgeous and seems fun and sassy, too. I was going to try to defend her against Catherine - but as I look at the photo closer, I cannot defend. Her jaw is dropped open so far. Girl, it is only a banana. You can use your front teeth, take smaller bites. yikes!

[DianaCLT]

Maybe she hadn't seen her hubby, whose generously-sized manhood she's now publicly discussed, in a REALLY long time...and was trying to live vicariously through this banana???

[Robin]

Uh, how is eating fruit and sitting in a sandbox bad "posture"? Only someone looking for something specifically naughty would see anything in that.
If anything, she's a good example to her kids- playing *with* them and eating the right kinds of foods.

[Her Bad Mother]

Robin: it's a joke. I totally support the eating of bananas.

That said, I stand by my claim that one needn't give a banana the full-mouth treatment to fully enjoy said banana. Otherwise, one is leaving oneself open to small-minded betches like yours truly making small-minded phallic innuendo about one and one's banana. Ya know?