Heidi Montag Seeks Look-alikes, Is Feminist Hero (asl*(%#LKDF(@#$#!)

Not content to just continue to assault us with her "music," Us Magazine reports that Heidi Montag has put out a call for look-alikes to model her new clothing line, Heidiwood (no, seriously, that's what she's calling it and I'll bet you two bits that Spencer came up with that name because he's so totally clever and it references his favorite person...Little Spencer, his penis). Upon hearing this news, drag queen communities across the nation got their 80s-era pink string bikinis out of the dry cleaners.

Jezebel also reported yesterday that Montag petitioned the L.A. City Council to change the Hollywood sign to Heidiwood, and they replied, "Um, no. Seriously? Are you smoking crack?"

Anyway, interested applicants should practice overusing jazz hands and can submit their names here.

Dude, you know who would be perfect for this gig? Ann Coulter:

"I can has jazz hands!"

Anyway.

Fellow betch Angela sent me this article earlier, in which a NY Times reporter declares Heidi Montag to be a feminist hero. We would have plenty to say about such a statement if our heads hadn't already exploded. As it is, I am writing this from the great beyond and be careful not to slip on the tiny pieces of brain that Angela and I may have left on the floor. Before our heads went boom, Angela had this to say:

GOOD F*CKING GOD.  I quit feminism.  That's it.  Here is my burning bra; I am done.

To which I replied:

jesus f*cking christ

I have a post about her scheduled for this afternoon and I suppose I should work this in, but I fear my commentary can't go beyond "#$)(*%#&(*&(&%#(&*(@$#)()*%)*)("

Gloria Steinem, whose head has also exploded, Susan B. Anthony and Margaret Sanger will be joining us in feminist hell for shots and drugs at 5 p.m. Stop by if you can.

Photo Source

Comments

[Kim]

What. The. Effing. Hell.

Is this a sign of the Apocalypse?

[chatty cricket]

Please, I have to believe that NY Times article was just a blazing piece of satire. Right? Wasn't it?

Yes?

[Sils]

I lost all faith in the NY Times after the Stephen Glass incident. This just seals the deal.

[Sils]

Jayson Blair rather, I often confuse my plagiarists.

[Mae]

Aww love your blog. You rock. You say EXACTLY what I'm thinking, I sooo totally agree!

[Alex]

5pm? I'll bring the brownies.

[BaltimoreGal]

Ann Coulter IS the drag version of Heidi Montag. How about that?

[Alexis]

I loved this blog until the Ann Coulter comment. Seriously, you compared Heidi Montag to Ann? Heidi doesn't have a JD and is an idiot. You may not agree with Ann, but she's smart as hell - that's how she teats the libs apart.

[kdiddy]

no, Heidi does not have a JD but both she and Ann Coulter employ jazz hands (see photos). Unfortunately, Ann Coulter already has steady work infiltrating the right as a guerilla leftist performance artist. it's true!

[DianaCLT]

WOW! Ann Coulter is a perfect Heidi double! They both have effing GINORMOUS hands!

[robyn]

that ann coulter comparison made my day. i have huge issue with her, basically because she's a single woman (who i TOTALLY think had a boob job) who goes around the country as her job telling women they should all be married and stay home and have babies (i'm paraphrasing here). contradict yourself much?

i must, however, give the best quote of the day to alexis who, i'm sure as a typo, wrote:

"You may not agree with Ann, but she's smart as hell - that's how she teats the libs apart"

teats. HELLS TO THE YES. teats.

[chatty cricket]

LOL Robyn.

[Miss Britt]

Um.

What? The Fuck?

If feminism is supporting your turd of a boyfriend - I want a penis.

[sweetney]

a little late, but i'll see you all feminist hell shortly. gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.