Kenickie Finds Xenu

I'm not sure I've gone on the record with this, but I am a huge fan of VH1's Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. Yooge! I'm not even going to justify myself or enumerate the many reasons why this show is so very awesome, because...come on. You feel me, betches. Right? Admit it.

ANYWAY. Mr. This Is Your Brain On Drugs and Your Girlfriend's Menstrual Cramp Medication Himself, Jeff Conaway, has told Inside Edition that he's staying clean and sober with a little help from this little thing called Scientology.

And he has good old Danny Zuko to thank: "John [Travolta] and I stayed friends but he couldn’t watch me going down the tubes…he gave me a whole library of Scientology books and he’s given me an auditor who comes almost every day."

It's working so well for him, he claims, that "My doctor was like, Holy cow, he says whatever you’ve been doing keep doing it because it’s really working."

(If my beloved Dr. Drew is the one who said that, I will eat. My. Fucking. Hat.)

Obviously, I can't totally dump all over something -- or ANYTHING -- that helps someone get off drugs. Jeff claims it's working, so...maybe it's working. Maybe he's really found the power to change. And maybe Vikki has swapped her vodka-spiked Vitamin Water for some Scientology vitamins.

Or he's just found something that fluffs his ego while emptying his bank account of all those Taxi royalties from Nick at Nite. We all know rehab is expensive, but they like, hold you accountable for your actions and make you clean toilets and be humble and shit. Psychiatrists! They are evil! They simply must be destroyed! Tom Cruise say RAWR!

Comments

[Peggasus]

NO WAY!!!

Wow, he was such a hot holy mess, I thought for sure he would die. I also wondered how he had all this money for drugs, considering he hasn't worked in 200 years. Damn, you have one hit show and money for life I guess (coughcough::Scott Baio::coughcough). Jeff was so cute on Taxi, way back then.

I'm not convinced that dying is worse than Scientology, though....

I wonder if they'll mention this on the Part II of the finale next week.

(Yeah, I watch it too. Obviously.)

[Sonia]

I LOVE that show too. I'll join you in the hat eating if it was Dr. Drew who encouraged Jeff to stay with The Crazy Church.

[Wubbie]

Maybe Scientology can get rid of Vikki? That'd be the BEST!

[BaltimoreGal]

Vikki being Xenu explains her hair (and dress).
I looove this show and Dr. Drew.
And Sonia- totally!

[Missie]

That picture of him reminds me of Great Uncle Lewis from Christmas Vacation. "GRAAAAACCCCE, THEY WANT YOU TO SAY GRAAAAAACE!"

[daysgoby]

Ohhh, the hot Dr. Drew......

[Eleanor]

I love this show too, and a respectable newspaper said it was OK to watch it (Washington Post). And I join the crowd that doesn't believe for one minute that Dr. Drew said that.
And I'm still waiting to find out what happened with the dirty pictures and Daniel Baldwin. Were there no repercussions at all?

[rednexmama]

Uncle Lewis?!?!!? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[DianaCLT]

"John [Travolta] and I stayed friends but he couldn’t watch me going down the tubes…he gave me a whole library of Scientology books and he’s given me an auditor who comes almost every day."

Ummmm....wasn't Jeff Conaway going down the tubes for...like...the last decade or more? Ummm....what? Does that mean that the tubes are REEEEEALLLLLY long, and John Travolta only watched him go 99.9999% of the way down the tubes? The drug addiction thing is not new for Jeff. Seems like John Travolta must have been left out of the loop (tubes?) or something for the past forever that the rest of us have had a clue. Maybe JT also watched Celeb Rehab, and that's how he knew that he and Xenu had to intervene (get in the way)??

[Bellamomma]

Oh. My. God.

So basically instead of Vicki draining his money, now it's all going to Scientology & this "Auditor" is watching his every breath so he has no time to take any drugs - if he even had the money to buy them anymore.

Well, we knew he needed a babysitter - I just didn't know Scientology was offering those services now! Any new way for Tom to make money huh?