Patrick Swayze Dying, Has Five Weeks To Live Has Cancer, Will Be OK

UPDATE: Effing National Enquirer. Okay, so apparently Patrick Swayze does indeed have cancer, but it isn't quite the dire, deathbed scene the National Enquirer would have us believe. According to People, Swayze's Doctor says:

"Patrick has a very limited amount of disease and he appears to be responding well to treatment thus far," Dr. Patrick George says in a statement. "All of the reports stating the time frame of his prognosis and his physical side effects are absolutely untrue. We are considerably more optimistic."

So, you know, WHEW.

Sorry about the false alarm, kiddos. Color me embarrassed. And dumb. Very, very dumb.

. . . . .

Well this is just awful.

The National Enquirer revealed on their site today that "the beloved Hollywood actor and dancer was diagnosed in late January with pancreatic cancer that has spread to other organs." Doctors have given Swayze three rounds of chemotherapy, but now hold out little hope for his recovery.

Did I mention this is AWFUL?

While I've never been what you might call a fan of Mr. Swayze, who among us hasn't enjoyed his turn in Dirty Dancing at one time or another? Under duress or otherwise?

Our thoughts are with Swayze and his family, and we wish him a speedy recovery, or a miracle, or something.

AAARGH. AWFUL. ACK.