Prayer: Lord Jesus, Please Stop the Lohans
Us Magazine reports that Dina Lohan and her 14-year-old daughter, Ali, will star in a reality show on E! called "Living Lohan." The show will serve as a platform to jump start Ali's career...because the post-reality-show success of so many entertainers is well-documented. But, financially, it's probably a smart move.
I mean, now that Lindsay's career is pretty much done, Dina has groomed Ali to support the family until her fifth stint in rehab and then they'll have to move on to Lindsay and Ali's brothers. Once those guys are washed up, I guess the family dog will be next. I'd say Dina and Michael have a good 10 years before all of the money's gone and they have to *gasp* get jobs of their own.
Still shrouded in mystery is what kind of "career" Mama and Papa Lohan are pushing for Ali. Michael says, "Ali’s got a lot of talent. She’s a gorgeous girl, and can sing. She’s animated and full of life." That's...kind of vague, Michael. Maybe she should...oh, I don't know...finish high school? Go to college? Become a lawyer? I know, it sounds crazy. But trust me, people have done it. And without the benefit of "fame."
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What is wrong with this family?
Why does that 14 year old look 30?
I'm at a loss.
Posted by: Sils | March 05, 2008 at 12:26 PM
To think I wasted those four years of college when I could have been animated and full of life and able to make an excellent career out of my personality. Damn.
Posted by: Heather B. | March 05, 2008 at 12:32 PM
You can't stop the shanty Irish, people.
(And yes I am Irish and there's some shanty in there too- hold your calls and letters).
Posted by: BaltimoreGal | March 05, 2008 at 01:47 PM
BG, I'm shanty Irish, too!
Posted by: kdiddy | March 05, 2008 at 01:54 PM
Cool, kd! I'm pretty sure my one aunt would be pissed off if she saw that I wrote that. While my dad would laugh.
Posted by: BaltimoreGal | March 05, 2008 at 02:03 PM
This makes me sick and sad all at the same time. I love trashy reality TV as much as anyone (hello "Girls Next Door") but this is just too much. Ugh.
Posted by: Celia | March 05, 2008 at 02:46 PM
30 year old head on 10 year old body. OMG let atleast one of your kids be a kid woman!
Posted by: kobri | March 05, 2008 at 11:01 PM
Well, if Dinah *plans* it right, she could get pregnant now, spit out another kid, so that when the youngest one hits rehab for the 4th time, the now 10-year can become the next famous "child Lohan."
Because after all, what are children if not the extension of a parent's failed ambitions and suffocated dreams.
Posted by: Jennifer L. | March 06, 2008 at 10:26 AM