Because When Your Kid Asks, 'What's Botox Mommy?', You Need To Have An Answer

I don't whether to laugh or cry at this: a children's book is going to be released on Mother's Day to help plastically surgered moms explain to their kids why Mommy's boobies got so big and round and her nose so small all of sudden.

No, really. Seriously.

It'll give whole new meaning to the phrase, 'Mommy's just putting her face on...'

Cosmetic surgeon Dr. Michael Salzhauer will release My Beautiful Mommy on Mother's Day. So that all those moms getting boob jobs and ass implants as moms-day gifts can be ready for the inevitable questions from small beings who don't understand why it is necessary that mommy change her body in order to be happy.

The book follows, apparently, one such mommy, who undergoes a tummy tuck, boob job and nose job. You know, to set a good example to her daughter. Before her surgery, the mommy explains to her child that she is getting a smaller tummy: "You see, as I got older, my body stretched and I couldn't fit into my clothes anymore. Dr. Michael (*GAG*) is going to help fix that and make me feel better." (Parenthetical commentary mine.

The perfect Mother's Day gift for Victoria Beckham's kids, I suppose. And Meg Ryan's. And all the Real Housewives of Orange County. Hell, it may be possible that you could put this book in all the nursery schools in the Greater Los Angeles area (assuming proper zip codes) - right alongside Goodnight Moon - and nobody would blink. Okay, maybe somebody would blink, long enough to jot down Dr. Michael's contact information from the back cover.

I can't even rant about this. I don't where to start.  If women want to get plastic surgery, fine, whatever, but could we maybe not normalize it entirely for children? I'm having horrid visions of eight-year old girls playing with Bratz dolls and telling each other that Candee and Brandee are going to have their boobies made bigger! So that they'll look prettier! And feel better! Just like Mommy!

(Head. EXPLODES)

Source

Comments

[Sils]

I can't actually say anything because a couple of years ago my siblings and I all chipped in and bought my mom the facelift she wanted.

Granted, she's in her 60s and we're all adults.

[DianaCLT]

The title alone scares me. Are kids whose mommies choose NOT to have surgery not beautiful? I always thought my mom was beautiful. I guess I figured that all kids think their moms are beautiful, if they have a good relationship.

Although...there is definitely a kid in my son's class who might need this book...

[Nic]

I can't wait for Plastic Surgery Barbie where you can morph her shape.

[Rachel]

And this is what happens: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=559741&in_page_id=1773

I mean, how low can we sink...

[Angela]

"It'll give whole new meaning to the phrase, 'Mommy's just putting her face on...'"

Hahahahahahahaha!

[DianaCLT]

WOW, Rachel. That link leads to the most distubing article and pathetic excuse for a mother I've read about in a looooooooooong time! What about teaching your daughter to love herself, as is? What about teaching her that beauty comes from WITHIN? What about wanting your children to be better than you - in every way - NATURALLY?? Ick Ick ICK!

[Dinz]

This is actually really funny. Thanks for the gag gift idea!

[Balu]

Advanced kit for good kids:
http://plasticsergeant.com/home/plastic-surgery-humor/plastic-surgery-humor/are-you-my-mom