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April 07, 2008

DEAR HULKY!

Hulk_betty

Dear Hulk,

I am a 29 year old woman, in a very happy relationship with a wonderful man.  However, I've been thinking lately about an old boyfriend. I'm not interested in getting back together with him, yet I never really got closure.  What would you suggest I do to finally get over him and move on?

Anonymous


WAS OLD FLAME NICE OR A JERK? OPEN TO CONTACT? ENOUGH WATER UNDER BRIDGE, HULK THINK IT IMPORTANT TO LOOK PERSON IN FACE, SEE WARTS AND BAD BREATH, OTHERWISE FANTASY KEEP MEMORY ALIVE FOR LONG TIME.

THIS HAPPEN TO HULK ONCE, HULK HAVE FOND MEMORIES OF BRIEF ENCOUNTER, FIND OLD GIRLFRIEND ON INTER NET. READ GIRLFRIEND'S BLOG, OLD FEELINGS REKINDLED! BUT AFTER A FEW MONTHS E-MAILING, HULK REMEMBER REASON HULK AND OLD GIRLFRIEND BREAK UP, EVEN THOUGH SEX PHENOMENAL GIRLFRIEND HAVE BAD ATTITUDE ABOUT LIFE. HULK NOT TELL BETTY, HULK SEE NO POINT. MAYBE YOUR BOYFRIEND DIFFERENT. ANYWAY, CLOSURE OBTAINED.

HULK TELL YOU, HAVE STRONG HEART, SMASH FANTASY OF OLD RELATIONSHIP! GRRR! LOOK OLD LOVE IN FACE. WAS HE THE ONE? IF NOT, DESTROY FEELINGS AND MOVE INTO DEEPER LOVE WITH CURRENT BOYFRIEND! OKAY!

AFTER JUMP: MOM WON'T BUY GUITAR! TODDLER SLEEP ISSUES!
Dear Hulk,
 
My Mom says I have to learn the basics on an acoustic guitar before forming the rockband of my dreams and moving on to an electric guitar. I think she is old and her ears must hurt. What do I do now?

Riley


HULK TRY TO LEARN ELECTRIC BASS, HAVE HELL OF TIME. MAKE EXCELLENT CRASHING NOISES, THOUGH! WHAM, WHAM, WHAM! RILEY'S MOM PROBABLY NOT WANT WHAMMING IN HOUSE. HULK SIGH FOR RILEY.

HULK SAY RILEY MAKE DEAL WITH MOM, THREE MONTHS ACOUSTIC. MOM SAY SIX MONTHS!! RILEY SAY OKAY, MOM FEEL RELIEF. HULK THINK RILEY NEED TO LISTEN TO TENACIOUS D, THE D ROCKS BOTH ELECTRIC AND ACOUSTIC, FURIOUSLY. GOOD TO KNOW BOTH, SERIOUSLY, NOT ALL ACOUSTIC GUITAR SOUND LIKE JOHN DENVER EMBROIDERY HOOP MUSIC. HULK HOPE RILEY COPE WITH THIS ADVICE.

Dear Hulk,

My 17-month-old still does not sleep through the night. Any advice for this tired parent?

Love,
Natalie


TODDLERS COMPLEX CREATURES! WON'T NAP, WON'T EAT, NO! NO! NO! EVEN HULK GET WEARY, TRYING TO FIGURE OUT SMALL PEOPLE. SINCE HULK NOT KNOW PARTICULARS OF NATALIE'S LITTLE PERSON, HULK GIVE YOU EASY WAY OUT: LET CHILD SLEEP WITH YOU. CHILD WAKE UP, CHILD INSTANTLY REASSURED, GO BACK TO SLEEP CUDDLING, DR. SEARS APPROVE OF YOU, EVERYTHING OKAY! UNTIL YEAR FROM NOW WHEN NATALIE NEED CHILD TO SLEEP IN OWN BED. THAT REQUIRE WHOLE NEW STRATEGY! BUT FOR NOW, CHILD SLEEP, NATALIE SLEEP. REMEMBER,  SLEEP MORE IMPORTANT THAN FOOD. IT OKAY TO DO WHATEVER IT TAKE TO GET ENOUGH SLEEP!

P.S. IN RESPONSE TO COMMENT FROM LAST WEEK: HULK OBAMA MAN.

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Posted by Mrs. Kennedy on April 7, 2008 in DEAR HULKY | Permalink | add to delicious | Digg! | StumbleUpon | add to sk*rt | Bookmark and Share


Comments

John Denver embroidery hoop music!

I love Hulky.

Smooches to Hulky! Love!

Wow- Hulky's rocking the good advice! Keep it up!

Thanks for the PS Hulky. You da Hulk.

confession. When I first saw that Hulky was getting his own regular advice post....I rolled my eyes. You see I already have a lovely advice smackdown for all of my queries. However! I was WRONG!! The Hulk is wise and humorous. Keep up the good work.

I can't tell you how glad I am to know that Hulky condones co-sleeping. I have been telling all my friends. I am vindicated! Screw you, bed-monitoring media! The Hulk is on MY side.

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