From The OMG SO SHOCKING Files: Heidi Montag's Clothing Line Sucks

I would have noted, in the title of this post, that the very fact that Heidi Montag has a clothing line is cold hard evidence that the Apocalypse has arrived, but I think that I've been crying too loud on the whole Apocalypse thing and I'm starting to worry that you all are going stop listening. STAY VIGILANT, PEOPLE. The Horsemen are upon us.

Srsly.

The one, teensy-tiny, shred of hope that we currently have is the apparent failure of Heidi Montag's clothing line. There is hope for humanity if humanity rejects the Evil, and if we define humanity as 'New York Magazine,' then, well, we have something to work with.

New York Magazine decided to look directly into the eye of the Evil, and this is what they saw:

'It was bad (they wrote) So bad. To Montag's credit, she trumpets Heidiwood's prices of $10 to $60 for any given item — compared to the triple-digit tags on L.C.’s line, that's a sure sign that she at least she understands her demographic. And yet everything we saw still gave us sticker shock. Paper-thin tanks for $27? Flimsy, panty-line-molesting dresses at nearly 40 bucks? Sure, that's a steal compared to Marc Jacobs, but not far enough removed from what you'd pay at the Gap for something that's at least 100 percent cotton and unlikely to give you a rash. When $37 seems exorbitant for a dress, you know you’ve got problems. In fact, it cemented our suspicion that Heidi is turning into Paris 2.0: terrible singer, lame boyfriends, famous mostly for on-camera pouting, and excessively eager to merchandise herself, regardless of actual quality.

Luckily, it's possible no one else is interested. Not only were we alone in visiting Heidiwood, we were the sole shoppers at that Anchor Blue, period, exposing us to the naked curiosity of the employees. “Are you a … fan of Heidi?” one of them asked. We murmured something unintelligible, much like the previous day when we called to confirm the clothes' arrival and the store clerk said, "Are you … um … interested in the Heidi Montag stuff?" He might as well have enquired, "Are you eating glass?"'

'Panty-line molesting dresses' and poly-blend short-shorts that look as though they'd give you a Brazilian whether you wanted one or not. All labelled with Heidi Montag's name. Are you paying attention? This is EVIL-EVIL-EVIL. Hoof-pounding, fire-snorting, crotch-burning EVIL.

At least New York Magazine, and the minions at Anchor Blue, know evil when they see it. Take heed of their warnings, lest all be lost.

Source, Source
 

Comments

[LauraJT77]

Are those shorts or panties? I am serious b/c they are really small and I am not sure!

[Suzy Q]

I had the displeasure of seeing this skank on Regis & Kelly last week (and yes, Spencer the Tool was there but not interviewed, thankfully). Since I've never seen whatever show she's on, I had never seen her talking. She was every bit as dumb and irrelevant as I expected.

[Sonia]

I saw that too Suzy Q. *shudder* "Oh I just mixed a little Balenciaga with Heidiwood!" GAG. And Spencer The Tool standing off to the side like a bodyguard, with his face frozen in a smile that was SCREAMING for some vaseline on his teeth, was enough to make me change the channel. ICK, ICK, IIIIIICK!!!!
What I've seen of her clothing line is, imo, total Skankwear. We'll be seeing it on future episodes of My Name is Earl.