Gwyneth Hides Pet Tarantulas In Shoes, Declares, "I Want to Be Carried Everywhere!"

April 25, 2008

Gwyneth Paltrow has been rocking the sky-high heels lately. Sources say she actually enjoys needing people to help her walk. "It's a trust exercise," she says. "It's about letting go and knowing that the universe will support me." It sounds like one too many stay-at-home afternoons watching Oprah have finally gone to Mrs. Martin's head, and rumor has it she's ordered a custom sedan chair and eight shaved and oiled Nubian porters from Louis Vuitton. "The universe will provide!" Gwyneth called to frozen, cheaply-shod fans in London on her way to sunny Rome for a screening of Iron Man.

The Daily Mail's been doing a good job keeping track of Gwyneth's new commitment to walking on the balls of her feet. No one really understands it but I'm sure in a few months several foot doctors and chiropractors are going to be buying boats with the money she's paid them to teach her how to walk again.

Tarantulas or public hair? YOU MAKE THE CALL.

Meanwhile, an impeccably dressed Terence Howard, far left, at the photocall in Rome, was disgusted by the shoddy footwear of the other Iron Man men. "Yeah, Jon Favreau polished his Florsheims," Howard relented, "But Downey didn't even put on clean socks. Noxious odors rise, man, it's chemistry! Somebody get that man a box of Tide. And then let some air out of Favreau, he looks like he's about to pop a seam."

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Posted by Mrs. Kennedy on April 25, 2008 in Celebrities , Fashion | Permalink | | | | |