Not Without My Genital Rope: the Richard Quest Story

So look, I don't watch CNN. I call TMZ "the news" and US Weekly "the paper" and in short I am a terribly shallow person and I know this, but unless Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert deem something newsworthy it simply does not exist in my little world.

I'm guessing, however, that tonight's coverage just might include some tidbits about CNN reporter Richard Quest, who was arrested early Friday morning in Central Park. He was originally held for breaking the park's curfew (it was 3:40 in the morning, when Central Park is very much closed), but oh, things have just not gone well for Mr. Quest since then.

So...he had some methamphetamine in his pocket. And a sex toy in his shoe. And...at some point the cops noticed the rope tied around his neck. That was also attached to his genitals.

He's been arraigned for misdemeanor drug possession charges, but his lawyer claims the whole thing is just a craaaazzzzzzzy misunderstanding and is confident the case will be dropped, because Quest "didn't realize that the park had a curfew." He was simply "returning to his hotel with friends."

For my fellow idiots out there who also had never heard of "one of the most instantly recognizable members of the CNN team" before things got ALL KINDS OF INTERESTING, here's his official bio from CNN.com.

CNN, by the way, has absolutely no damn comment about any of this, so please stop asking, oh my God.

Source

Comments

[Suzy Q]

He had a sex toy in his SHOE? WTF kind of sex toy fits in a shoe which, assumingly also had a foot in it at the time.

I...I can't even begin to comment on the genital/neck rope. The mind boggles.

[Amalah]

He was wearing boots, according to the Post, but every time I typed "a sex toy in his boot" my mind went to a very, very bad place, so I went with "shoe" for posting purposes.

[b]

congressmen, start your engines. there is a new threshold for freaky. that shuffling in a stall thing is very much over.

[sweetney]

bwaaahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!

okay, i found all of that just a little too amusing. snort. "genital rope". giggle-snort.