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April 2008

April 30, 2008: Shout Out to Mah OG YouTube Homies: Video Fun With Margaret Seltzer
Comments: 7 | Categories: Bullcrap , Print , Video
Y'all haven't forgotten about this jackass yet, right? Harry Allen at Media Assassin has somehow managed to get his bloggy little hands on a promotional video for Margaret "Peggy" "P-Dawg" Seltzer's fake memoir Love and Consequences, in which she sits in front of some tract housing in what looks to be a very well-manicured part...

April 30, 2008: "Baby Mama" Review
Comments: 3 |
Choosing which movie to view each week is a great lesson in how much pain I'm willing to subject myself to. Can I sit through two hours of the same blow up scene? No. Can I endure Owen Wilson being devoid of any sort of character or entertainment? Hell to the no. The movies are...

April 30, 2008: Jennifer Aniston & John Mayer, Sittin' In A Tree
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch
I guess? Supposedly? Huh. Alrighty then. Guess I'll do the honors... Dearest Mr. Mayer, I know you have a reputation of being something of a cassanova and a cad, so I think I speak for all of America -- nay, civilized humanity -- when I say the following to you: dude, this ain't no easy,...

April 30, 2008: Julianne Moore Probably Hates Pam Anderson, Too
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
Pamela Anderson released a press statement the other day, informing everyone that she is - for the first time as an American citizen! (Ameri-cuh: F*CK YAH!) - marching on Washington to protest animal testing. She just wants us all to know, y'know, so that we can all contemplate the horrific effects of animal testing and...

April 30, 2008: RIP Albert Hofmann
Comments: 3 | Categories: Pop Culture
Albert Hofmann, the Swiss scientist best known for synthesizing lysergic acid diethylamide (LSD), died yesterday at the age of 102.

April 30, 2008: Is Mariah Carey Getting Married?
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch
Quite possibly, given the big ol' rock she's been sporting, which a source told Page Six was an engagement ring from....

April 30, 2008: Julianne Moore: Most Celebrity Do-Gooders Are Attention-Grubbing Famewhores
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
*uncomfortable coughing* Wow. So somebody - somebody famous - finally stepped up and said it.

April 30, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: John Travolta's Facial Hair and Some Dude
Comments: 13 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Beard? What beard? I don't have a beard. Kelly's at home with the kids. UPDATE: You betches seriously, seriously brought it today. This was a hard decision, but the public adoration goes to Baileyswedishfish. Okay, and I adore the rest of you too, you sultans of snark. PLEASE, betches, I beg of you, turn this...

April 29, 2008: Hot Topics For Hot Mamas!
Comments: 0 | Categories: MamaPopTalk
Tis time for all the MamaPopTalk news that's fit to print. Hold onto yer bee-hinds, betches! We have reopened registration at MamaPopTalk! YAY! Click here to register and be able to participate in open threads and our daily conversations! Tonight at 8 PM you can chat with Sweetney and others all about American Idol in...

April 29, 2008: Vanity Fair Stands Behind Miley Cyrus Photos
Comments: 20 | Categories: Celebrities
In case you missed it, there was quite a hub-bub yesterday over the photos of Miley Cyrus that appear in the June 2008 issue of Vanity Fair. In the photos, Miley appears topless-ish: she holds a loose piece of fabric over her chest as she works the camera. Miley issued an apology, there was plenty...

April 29, 2008: Reminder: American Idol Open Thread Tonight!
Comments: 1 | Categories: Open Threads
We're down to FIVE. Not that Carly -- who was clearly a decorative plant of some sort and not an actual human being, at least according to MamaPop's own Jodi -- really counted or anything. cough. Soooo...who's going down this evening, ya think? Any pre-game bets, m'ladies? In any case, tonight we has Neil Diamondz,...

April 29, 2008: Dear Khia, Please STOP
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
I beg you, America begs you, and your caps lock key begs you. (It also says to tell you that it is not, contrary to what you may have heard on the internets, cruise control for cool.) What the hell I'm talking about may be found after the jump, along with spoilers if you're not...

April 29, 2008: Whoa, Dude: Cheri Oteri's Father Stabbed to Death
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb News , RIP
God, how sad. SNL alum Cheri Oteri (one of those cast members who finally put SNL back on the map in terms of being a viable vehicle for female comics), lost her father this weekend. He was murdered by his songwriting partner and roommate. He was 69 years old.

April 29, 2008: No Longer a Girl, Yet Not Quite a Woman
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
It's one thing to be fifteen years old and have a barely suggestive photo taken while your parents are standing ten feet away, it's quite another to be fifteen years old and actually take off your clothes. To have sex. With a married man. Yankees pitcher Roger Clemens revealed yesterday that he'd had a ten-year-long...

April 29, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Wyclef Jean
Comments: 15 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
EXACTLY. And the winner is: Jennifer! with her immortal, "Fuck you guys, I'm going home." Thanks for playing, everyone!

April 29, 2008: Simply Red, Baby
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies , Music
Remember the band Simply Red? No? Okay, you are so not as old as me. (You can catch up after the jump. Know ur 80's pop musik, peeples!) For those of you who are as old as me, or who are, simply, die-hard British alterna-pop fans who also maybe watch Family Guy, well, you might...

April 29, 2008: Britney Spears Custody Evaluation Complete
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
The custody evaluation in the Britney Spears/Kevin Federline custody battle is finally done. It was delivered to attorneys for both sides on Friday. It is several hundred pages long and sources have said it is a "mixed bag," some parts damaging, some parts helpful to Britney. The report was written by Dr. Jane Shatz and...

April 28, 2008: Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz at the White House Correspondents Dinner
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities
People has this very nice picture of Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz, who attended the White House Correspondents Dinner on Saturday. Frankly, the bangs frighten me.

April 28, 2008: Dear Hulky!
Comments: 1 | Categories: DEAR HULKY
Dear Hulk, I am so stressed out. I am currently balancing a reasonably new (less than one year) marriage, an almost full-time job and a full course load at school. I have no energy, ever, no time to clean my house or cook a decent meal, and I feel like crying all the time. I'm...

April 28, 2008: Idiocracy in Action: 85,000 People Audition to be Paris' New BFF
Comments: 3 |
Oh people, come on. So Paris Hilton's new reality show "My New BFF" has received 85,000 profiles and videos over at ParisBFF.com, which yeah. I'm not linking to that. You wanna see it, you go and type it out your own precious self. Eighty. Five. Thousand. The site only launched less than six weeks ago,...

April 28, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Janet Jackson
Comments: 9 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
OMG did I just swallow Michael's old nose? WINNAH! Thanks, Kim!

April 28, 2008: Miley Cyrus Topless; Disney Missing Annette Funicello BAD
Comments: 27 | Categories: Celebrities
I dunno, this seems to me like - how would you describe it? - a bad judgment call. Let's say that you're a 15 year old Disney star, with legions of tween fans who follow your every move with tweenish devotion and with the only semi-ambivalent approval of their parents (because, hey, even though it's...

April 28, 2008: This Is How Fairy Tales Die: On Divorce Court, With Disgruntled 70's Sitcom Stars
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Reality TV
Ah, young love. So fleeting, so fickle, so ripe for exploitation on reality television. I had such high, high hopes for Gary Coleman and his Brobdingnaggian bride, and what was so obviously their true, true love. That that love should end up shattered and scattered across the soundstage of Divorce Court, well... let's just say...

April 28, 2008: Another From the Big Shocker File: Amy Winehouse Arrested
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
Amy Winehouse was released from police custody Saturday morning after being arrested on Friday for Simple Assault and spending the night at the police station. She was not charged but was given a caution which means the incident remains on her record. Maybe she could have shared the cell with her husband, Blake Fielder-Civil. The...

April 25, 2008: Set Your TiVos & Get Ready to Cringe: Tom Cruise is Returning to Oprah
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Talk Shows
Hide your women! Plastic-wrap your couches! Tom Cruise is coming back to Oprah, possibly to announce his casting as the monster in Cloverfield 2.

April 25, 2008: Gwyneth Hides Pet Tarantulas In Shoes, Declares, "I Want to Be Carried Everywhere!"
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion
Gwyneth Paltrow has been rocking the sky-high heels lately. Sources say she actually enjoys needing people to help her walk. "It's a trust exercise," she says. "It's about letting go and knowing that the universe will support me." It sounds like one too many stay-at-home afternoons watching Oprah have finally gone to Mrs. Martin's head,...

April 25, 2008: I Praise You: Matt "Harry" Wilson
Comments: 7 | Categories: Kids , TV
Please, somebody. Say I'm not the only one. This is Matt "Harry" Wilson of Cyberchase. He's everything you want in a guy. He's funny, he's goofy, he has excellent shoes (I like his spectator oxfords), he unicycles, and he uses fractions. He even kind of looks good in a swim cap. ("Harry's Big Splash") He...

April 25, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Jada Pinkett Smith
Comments: 22 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Srsly, this was probably the hardest PISOAC I've had in terms of picking a winner. Y'all are freakin' HYSTERICAL and shit. But okay, okay, There Can Only Be One. And so... WINNER: "Is my weave on straight??? It feels a little sideways." - DianaCLT Congrats on the big win, Diana. We heart the crap outta...

April 25, 2008: Friday Eye Candy: The Apatow and Co. Edition
Comments: 17 | Categories: Friday Eye Candy
With Judd Apatow and his group of funneymen taking over comedy unofficially in 2007-2008, it's only fair to give them their turn as eye candy. The man, the myth, the creator of it all. Judd Apatow. For more of his crew, keep reading after the jump!

April 25, 2008: Brad Pitt Proves That If You're Hot Enough, Even 80's Hair Can't Hurt You
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Granted, if Brad Pitt, as pictured here in a still from his new movie Burn After Reading, were just walking down the street as some ordinary guy, I'd probably say to myself, hey, that guy looks a lot like Brad Pitt! Shame about the hair! but, you know, looking at him as Brad Pitt I...

April 25, 2008: The Richie Sambora Saga is Over
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
After all of this, Richie Sambora pleaded out his DUI earlier this week. Mere hours after the drunk driving charges were officially filed, he plead no contest to one misdemeanor count of driving with a blood-alcohol level above the legal limit. The prosecutors dropped a charge of driving under the influence of alcohol. He was...

April 24, 2008: Gossip Rag Thursday
Comments: 3 | Categories: Gossip Rag Thursday
Xenu? Tom's poolboy fantasies? What do you think it could be that's tearing them apart?! Sanity on the part of Ms. Holmes?! For more gossip, keep reading.

April 24, 2008: LOLmarriage, 4/24
Comments: 1 | Categories: LOLMarriage
Today's LOLmarriage gives you some skills in the art of seduction...

April 24, 2008: Kal Penn Teaching at UPenn!
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celeb News
Hold on just a sec while I chase after Sweetney - I can see her out of the corner of my eye trying to quickly pack up and move to Pennsylvania.

April 24, 2008: Jennifer Lopez Spawns Mutant Babies, Reality TV Show
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celeb News , Reality TV
JLo, here pictured in full Kabuki makeup beside a small hairless chimp, plans to jump on the reality TV bandwagon. Umm, yay? (rolls eyes)

April 24, 2008: Remember That Scene In Independence Day? When Aliens Nuked The White House? Well...
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Politics , WTF?
I think that we can safely say that the decline of Western civilization is complete - to say nothing of the arrival of the Apocalypse, which I think we've already established - when a D-list 'personality' of the Heidi Montag/Spencer Pratt variety (I'm not even going to say 'celebrity' in the context of Heidi or...

April 24, 2008: From the "Where Have They Been?" Files: It's Helen Hunt!
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
At Monday's Then She Found Me premier, director Helen Hunt gutsily stepped out onto the red carpet in a cantilevered satin undergarment designed for someone half her age. "Even though my breasts are asleep, my navel's popped out to say hi, and I am so very, very tired, I am still rocking this dress," said...

April 24, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Kevin Bacon, Kyra Sedgwick, And...?
Comments: 11 | Categories: Celebrities , Photo In Search Of A Caption
Winner! missbanshee: Six Degrees! Kevin Bacon was in "Balto" with Bob Hoskins Bob Hoskins was in "Who Framed Roger Rabbit" with Pluto. Pluto has a Kevin Bacon number of 2. And a big honorable mention/first-runner-up to Baileyswedishfish: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZ snork sniff snork sniff sniff Bacon! BACON! I smell Bacooonnnnnnnnn! Where's the Bacon??? Gimme some BACON!!!!!!!!!!! BaconBaconBacooooonnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!...

April 24, 2008: Spice Girls and Backstreet Boys Figure Into R. Kelly Child Pornography Trial
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
R. Kelly's child pornography trial is scheduled to begin May 9th (on my birthday!) in Chicago, a mere 6 years after his arrest. In the meantime, he has become a platinum recording artist and made millions of dollars. That's justice, right? "R. Kelly is looking forward to his day in court and he is confident...

April 23, 2008: "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" Review
Comments: 7 | Categories: Movies
After the abysmal pile of crap that was Drillbit Taylor, Judd Apatow and I had a come to Jesus discussion about his failures as of late. This is a man known for his brilliance in producing, writing and directing perfectly planned comedies and yet Drillbit Taylor? Walk Hard? Complete shit if you ask me though...

April 23, 2008: This Week In Covetousness
Comments: 0 | Categories: Link Love
Please join us over at MamaPop's sister site, We Covet, for better living through consumerism! Some of this week's top posts (errm, so far), all with an Earth Week, eco-friendly-related theme: *We Covet Free Stuff: Enter to win a DVD of "A Global Warning?"* Kid's Toiletries We Covet: Have we mentioned lately how much we...

April 23, 2008: Amy Winehouse: Achieving All New Lows
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb News
Yeah, I know. What do you even SAY at this point? Other than GRRAAAAAAGHHH!!!! and AAARRRRGHHHH!!!, I mean.

April 23, 2008: Now Here's a Shocker, Star Jones Files For Divorce
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celeb Legal Woes
Star Jones filed for divorce from her husband Al Reynolds on March 26th. There had been speculation for years, basically since they moment they married, that he was gay and they were splitting. Glad they had that 200 gazillion dollar wedding extravaganza. She is said to be currently out of the country. I don't know...

April 23, 2008: Posh Spice Joins Pussycat Dolls, Provides Own Costumes
Comments: 1 | Categories: Music
I'm going to tell you right now, there is, in my opinion, absolutely nothing even remotely close to newsworthy about this story. I mean, the Spice Girls were basically just proto-Pussycat Dolls with more clothing and sappier lyrics, so the news that Victoria 'Posh Spice' Beckham will join their ranks, even temporarily, really warrants nothing...

April 23, 2008: Nicole Kidman Actually Looking Pregnant Now
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
dlisted has some pictures of Nicole Kidman speaking at the UN ("who UN-Nazi-ed the world!") yesterday and she's actually looking decently pregnant now.

April 23, 2008: Amy Winehouse's Husband Disgusting (Also, Earth Round)
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celeb News
And not just because he's a wearer of gratuitous hats with somewhat questionable sideburns, either.

April 23, 2008: Just What The World Needs: More Celebrity Concept Albums
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , WTF?
I have nothing against Scarlett Johansson. I loved Ghost World. I liked Lost In Translation, too, although that really had more to do with Bill Murray than with Scarlett herself, who was, if you ask me, a little on the dull side. I have no intention of seeing The Other Boleyn Girl, but that's more...

April 23, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Natalie Portman
Comments: 9 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
WINNER! "Please pass my sentiments along to your associate Jar Jar Binks." Thanks, amanda!

April 22, 2008: Jessica Simpson Helps Tony Romo Celebrate His Birthday
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
You know what's weird? I was starving up until a few minutes ago and now suddenly my appetite is completely gone.

April 22, 2008: Reminder: American Idol Open Thread Tonight!
Comments: 4 | Categories: Open Threads
It's the final six, people. SIX, can you believe it? Not that anyone stands a chance next to David Cook at this point (Team Cook represent!) -- am I right or am I right? Or, you know, RIGHT? (By the by, I feel compelled to mention that DC's favorite quote, according to the AI site,...

April 22, 2008: Lindsay Lohan Ready to Throw Down Over Sam Ronson
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celeb News , Celebrities
Pop quiz! Who prompted Linsday Lohan to scream, "Get your...ass away from my girlfriend"? over the weekend? The answer (and the full quote) after the jump.

April 22, 2008: Mariah Carey: Don't Violate Me, Baby
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities
Mariah Carey thinks that maybe she doesn't want to have kids. Which, fine. No one is obligated to have children, and frankly, I don't know that the world would really be all that much worse off if Mariah didn't procreate. At least the world's supply of diamante binkies and glitter-stamped onesies wouldn't be at risk...

April 22, 2008: Backstage with the Rock of Love 2 Girls
Comments: 11 | Categories: Reality TV
Personally, I'd be way more jazzed about meeting Rich Juzwiak of FourFour, but that's just me. Anyway, for those of you who 1) are into Rock of Love 2 and 2) are willing to admit that you are into Rock of Love 2, Rich goes backstage at the reunion show for lots of photos, subtle...

April 22, 2008: Ali Lohan Hurtles Toward Point of No Return
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Oh dear, little Ali Lohan is nearing the celebrity tipping point, at which time all interested Americans will be invited to tune into E! and judge how well she stands up against her hurricane of a stage mother, Dina, on their new reality show, Living Lohan. Does anyone watch these things anymore? I though Ozzie...

April 22, 2008: Liz Hurley: PhotoShop Me, Baby!
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
Liz Hurley says that she likes being PhotoShopped, and no, that's not a euphemism for anything really interesting, it's just her way of saying that if there's some way of looking skinnier without diet or exercise, hell yeah she's into that. Which, you know, you kinda have commend her for. Her honesty, that is. I...

April 22, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Amy Poehler and Will Arnett
Comments: 6 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
. . . and two other nice people named Patrick and Tiffany! Is there a caption inside you? LET IT OUT, we need to see it, pronto. Winner chosen and linked with love at the end of the day. NICK IS OUR WINNER! "Jimmy Fallon and Cheri Oteri visit the SNL Wax Museum to pose...

April 22, 2008: Gail O'Grady Owes Over $200,000 To Vegas Casinos
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
Gail O'Grady, most famously of NYPD Blue and American Dreams, seems to have a little bit of a gambling problem. She has filed for bankruptcy for the second time in 15 years. Both Caesar's Palace Hotel & Casino and Bally's/Paris Las Vegas filed paperwork in U.S. Bankruptcy Court claiming she owes them money. Caesar's claims...

April 21, 2008: I'm Really Not Sure What to Make of Weston Cage
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Nicolas Cage's 17-year-old son Weston is ready to strike out on his own as a Goth superstar

April 21, 2008: DEAR HULKY!
Comments: 4 | Categories: DEAR HULKY
if i have a crush on some1 what must i do? Thomas WELL, THOMAS, CRUSHES TERRIBLY EXCITING, DON'T YOU THINK! CRUSHES MAKE HULK ALL WOBBLY LIKE LIME JELL-O. PROBLEM WITH CRUSH, THOUGH, IS IF YOUR FEELINGS GET CRAZY OUT OF HAND AND THEN YOU SEE PERSON YOU HAVE CRUSH ON AND YOU RUN AWAY! HARD...

April 21, 2008: Not Without My Genital Rope: the Richard Quest Story
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , News
So look, I don't watch CNN. I call TMZ "the news" and US Weekly "the paper" and in short I am a terribly shallow person and I know this, but unless Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert deem something newsworthy it simply does not exist in my little world. I'm guessing, however, that tonight's coverage just...

April 21, 2008: The Reason You Read Gossip Blogs: To See Brad Pitt's Underwear
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Also, to see his delightfully Brad-Pitty rear end perched on a custom chopper. (The undies? They're Fruit-of-the-Loom. Really.) (Picture after the jump. Totally SFW, which is kinda unfortunate, but whatever. You could make it your screensaver!)

April 21, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Vivienne Westwood and Andreas Kronthaler
Comments: 21 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
In the year 2025, Johnny Depp and Tilda Swinton step out for a night on the town. UPDATE, MUCH LATER THAN EXPECTED: Cheers to Amy65! (And extra e-smooches because at the end of the day yesterday, I was running around like a betch with her head cut off trying to get some work stuff done,...

April 21, 2008: From The OMG SO SHOCKING Files: Heidi Montag's Clothing Line Sucks
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , Horror , Merciless Killing Machines , WTF?
I would have noted, in the title of this post, that the very fact that Heidi Montag has a clothing line is cold hard evidence that the Apocalypse has arrived, but I think that I've been crying too loud on the whole Apocalypse thing and I'm starting to worry that you all are going stop...

April 21, 2008: Sandra Bullock Hit By Drunk Driver
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
Sandra Bullock and her husband Jesse James, of the TV show Monster Garage, were hit by a drunk driver over the weekend. They were riding in a private car in Gloucester, Mass, near where Sandra is filming a movie. Luckily, neither of them were seriously hurt. Feel free to insert a Crash joke here. A...

April 18, 2008: Still More Signs Of The Coming Apocalypse: Spencer and Heidi Pitching Reality Show
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Reality TV , TV , WTF?
Had you asked me yesterday which celebrity I thought should most NOT get their own reality TV show, I would have said Britney Spears. Because, you know, been there, hated that, and also, please, can't we just let her try to detrainwreckify herself on her own? Doesn't filming the trainwreck just make it all the...

April 18, 2008: Those Aren't Muskets!
Comments: 1 | Categories: Comedy , Humor , Internet , Timesuckers , Video , Web Junk
Have y'all seen these guys (and gals) yet? I love them. I first saw their videos on Cracked, but apparently they also made it to the final round of the YouTube Sketchies II sketch comedy competition, which I'd never heard of but I am clinging to that as "newsworthy" and that's why I'm devoting an...

April 18, 2008: Cartoon Monkeys I Have Known
Comments: 0 | Categories: Animation , TV
I've known a lot of cartoon monkeys, and I want to talk about two of them. I have my reasons. Above you see Blip, cartoon monkey sidekick of Space Ghost. I am made at times to watch Space Ghost (no, Space Ghost Coast to Coast is not acceptable to the six-year-old, who does not appreciate...

April 18, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Victoria Beckham
Comments: 11 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
WINNER: Ally's "Everyone is allowed one mistake a day...right?" snort. Good smartassin' there, Ally!

April 18, 2008: Tom And Katie: Are They On, Are They Off, Or Has Someone's Cyborg Wiring Just Shorted?
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities
Here's some shocking news for your Friday morning: Tom Cruise is denying that he and Katie are splitting up! But let's do the math: we reported the rumor on April 7, on the same day that the rumor hit the internet, or - let's be modest here - at least within a 24-hour period of...

April 18, 2008: Friday Eye Candy: Jerri Ann's Picks
Comments: 12 | Categories: Friday Eye Candy
You readers continue to amaze me with the hot people you pick for Friday Eye Candy! Here's Jerri Ann's picks for this week: Amaury Nolasco

April 18, 2008: Sam Lutfi Still Not Allowed Contact With Britney Spears, Britney Has a Huge Legal Bill
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
All Parties agreed on Wednesday to extend Britney's restraining order against Sam Lutfi. Sam was not at the hearing, but a document was presented with his signature agreeing to the order. You can read the order here. Attorney Vivian Thoreen said James Spears, Sam Lutfi and Andrew Wallet, an attorney who is co-conservator of Britney...

April 17, 2008: Gossip Rag Thursday
Comments: 5 | Categories: Gossip Rag Thursday
Big news this week was all the children that were removed from a polygymous compound in Texas. The government is claiming abuse, the mothers are saying there was none, and caught in the middle are a large number of small ones. A sobering cover, to be sure. In other news ...

April 17, 2008: New X-Files Movie this Summer! Get Your Tin Foil Hats Ready!
Comments: 7 | Categories: Movies , TV
I'm not naming names, but a few MamaPop betches/nerds were mightily excited this morning to find out that the title for the second X-Files movie has been released. *coughcoughTraceyKellycoughcough*

April 17, 2008: LOLmarriage Thursday: It's Not All Bad
Comments: 5 | Categories: LOLMarriage
As I'm sure many of us are aware, sometimes, marriage goes a little something like this here: But not always!

April 17, 2008: Because When Your Kid Asks, 'What's Botox Mommy?', You Need To Have An Answer
Comments: 8 | Categories: Boobs , Bullcrap , Celebrities , Kids , WTF?
I don't whether to laugh or cry at this: a children's book is going to be released on Mother's Day to help plastically surgered moms explain to their kids why Mommy's boobies got so big and round and her nose so small all of sudden. No, really. Seriously. It'll give whole new meaning to the...

April 17, 2008: Evan Rachel Wood's Beauty Secret: "My Boyfriend Drinks My Blood!"
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities , Fashion , WTF?
I understand that Evan Rachel Wood is only 20 years old and not everyone has developed a solid identity at that age, but holy mustache bleach, is Marilyn Manson slowly draining all the blood from her body when she's asleep? I've heard of emotional vampires but this is ridiculous. Photos of Evan's amazing transformation into...

April 17, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Tom Cruise and David Beckham
Comments: 22 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
You know the deal. Caption your betchy hearts out, and the winner will be announced end of day! And the winner is... Miss Britt with: "Overcompensate wha?" And because they were just all sooooo good, a runner-up, RuthWells with: "I'll show HER a tractor exhaust pipe!!!"

April 17, 2008: Richie Sambora Charged With Child Endangerment
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
The Laguna Beach Police Department is requesting that Richie Sambora be charged with driving under the influence as well as child endangerment. So much for the idea that he was not driving drunk. The request from the Laguna Beach Police Department is not final. Jason Kravetz of the department told Us Magazine "All that [this]...

April 16, 2008: David Beckham's Got Mighty Big (EYE)Balls
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
This really kinda isn't fair, I know: dude's just taking in a little sports action and, like any red-blooded male creature, finds his eye a-wanderin' to the brightly-colored and tightly-garbed rear-end of a nearby girly-girl. Could happen to anyone, couldn't it?

April 16, 2008: "Smart People" Movie Review
Comments: 0 | Categories: Movies
First and foremost I enjoyed Juno. I enjoyed it so much that I got home and downloaded the soundtrack off of itunes and have since been basking in all of its indie/emo glory. Second, I like offbeat comedies. I think that I Heart Huckabees is the funniest shit on earth and that Wes Anderson can...

April 16, 2008: From The TMI Files: Keith Richards Admits Snorting Dad's Ashes
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , WTF?
I liked this story more when it was Keith DENYING that he snorted his dead dad's ashes. Now that he's admitted it, I'm just skeeved. I mean, I know that he has bad-assery down to a finely honed art, but snorting your dead father's remains? For realz? That's not bad-ass. That's just gross. His detailed...

April 16, 2008: MamaPop Field Trip: We Are SO Crashing the White House Correspondents Dinner.
Comments: 0 | Categories: News , Politics , WTF?
So, I read the other day that Perez Hilton, Pam Anderson and Lauren Conrad are going to attend the White House Press Correspondents Association Dinner on April 26th. And I got all indignant, like, "Isn't that for journalists who at least pretend to report on the daily goings on at the White House?" But I...

April 16, 2008: Sad News for Cameron Diaz
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News
TMZ is reporting that Cameron Diaz's father died suddenly last night of pneumonia.

April 16, 2008: Amy Winehouse Shows Baby How It's Done
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities , Photo Op , WTF?
I dunno. I plan to make sure that my baby's in a sling or carrier before doing shots. You know, so that he doesn't drop when my arms go slack from extreme drunkenness. That would suck.

April 16, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Heather Mills
Comments: 7 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
I bet you can't caption just one! You know the routine...funniest caption gets subjectively deemed the funniest by day's end. WINNAH!!! DianaCLT with... "So at first, I was, like...you know. But THEN! THEN, I was like OMG! WTF?!? But like, then I just got like, SO. FED. UP! So I effed him good - took...

April 15, 2008: Rob Lowe: Still Creepy After All These Years
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celebrities
I'm not sure what it is about Rob Lowe. I think he's attractive and I thought he was hilarious in Wayne's World and Austin Powers, but I never quite got over the icky feeling after his sex tape scandal in 1988, in which he did the dirty-dirty with a 16-year-old girl. Okay, sure, maybe he...

April 15, 2008: Reminder: American Idol Open Thread Tonight!
Comments: 3 | Categories: Open Threads
Well now that that loser Aussie is out of the way (dude, hottness cannot compensate for consistently middling performances, sorry), we're left with the pothead (boy THAT was a shocker!) and the egotist (who may get some additional play by way of sympathy vote). It's a coin-flip, I know. Fear not, we're only down to...

April 15, 2008: Beyonce Retiring, Angela Feeling Really Old
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb News , Music
Jeez, is she really old enough to retire?! Or just rich enough? I'm in the wrong field, y'all.

April 15, 2008: Nicole Kidman is Gestating Polly Pocket
Comments: 19 | Categories: Awards Shows , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Nicole Kidman confirmed her pregnancy the first week of January and is supposedly due in July, which means she's around six months pregnant in this photo (taken at the Country Music Awards last night). This is, no lie, exactly how I looked at six minutes pregnant. Minus the killer dress, and I don't believe my...

April 15, 2008: Robert Downey Jr., Just Another Schmuck in a Minivan
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities
Even an art-house-loving, blockbuster-carrying individual such as Robert Downey, Jr. is plagued by the poxiness of being the father of a teenage boy who's just about old enough to realize that his dad is SO EMBARRASSING. The Scottish Daily Mail has a chatty interview with the Iron Man/Hulk/Tropic Thunder star and it seems pretty clear...

April 15, 2008: Ashlee & Pete: First Love, Then Marriage, Then Baby Carriage... Or Vice-Versa?
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz are - according to Us Magazine - going to have a little Fall Out boy. Or girl. I suppose that at the moment it's just a Fall Out Fetus (which sounds disturbing, I know, but definitely edgier than Fall Out Boy, which, when you think about it, is really a...

April 15, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Ronald McDonald
Comments: 16 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Caption please? Oh, please let there be a caption. Winner will be linked with so much love tonight. WINNER: "After the 4,982nd kid puked in the PlayPlace ball pit, Ronald officially lost his shit and beat the next person who walked through the door." Thanks, Kirsten, and everybody who played!

April 15, 2008: J.K. Rowling Testifies in Harry Potter Lawsuit
Comments: 4 | Categories: Books , Celeb Legal Woes
J.K. Rowling testified in Manhattan on Monday asking a judge to stop the publication of Harry Potter Lexicon, an unauthorized encyclopedia devoted to the world and characters she created. "I really don't want to cry," Rowling said when she testified, and added that she was unable to work on her new novel, which is not...

April 15, 2008: Marilyn Monroe Had A Sex Tape, Which Means, Maybe Your Grandma Did Too
Comments: 5 | Categories: Pop Culture
I'm starting to feel as though I've missed out on a very important trend here. Does EVERYONE have a sex tape? Seriously? Because once you've moved an activity out of the realm of Pam Anderson/Paris Hilton and into the arena of Marilyn Monroe, doesn't that mean that there's some kind of cultural legitimacy that needs...

April 14, 2008: Fashion Mags: Women Aren't Good Enough, No Matter What Shape They're In
Comments: 12 | Categories: Bullcrap , Fashion
The Telegraph has a *head-desk*-worthy story about how fashion magazines are responding to criticism of their ridiculous Photoshopping antics.

April 14, 2008: Dear Hulky!
Comments: 3 | Categories: DEAR HULKY
Salutations Hulk-- I just cannot believe it. What, you ask? My teenage daughter is rebelling and decided to pierce her ears on her own!! She didn't go to a professional but instead did it herself. Oh Hulk, what should I do? How do I refrain from grounding her for weeks on end? Should I only...

April 14, 2008: Battlestar Galactica Screencap Recap
Comments: 6 | Categories: TV
We're going the WRONG WAY! WE'RE GOING THE WRONG WAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!!1!!11

April 14, 2008: Et Tu, Adnan?*
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Adnan Ghalib - ex-creepy-boyfriend of Britney Spears - was, reportedly, attacked and stabbed over the weekend. Which, if true, is really a shame, because nobody - not even a man with a soul patch, really - deserves that.

April 14, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Simon Cowell and Ryan Seacrest
Comments: 16 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
SON OF UPDATE: I fail at copyright. Bye-bye, original picture, hello failcat. It's not you, Ryan. I have a smoke after every "first time." UPDATE: Congratulations, Heidi! *lauds Heidi* You know the drill, betches. Winning caption will be added and its author lauded at the end of the day. Ready, set, caption!

April 14, 2008: Oops, She Crashed Up Her Car
Comments: 3 | Categories: Britney Spears
Britney, Britney, Britney... My hopes really were rising for you. You dumped that paparazzo creep, lowered your profile, and went on a TV show with Doogie Howser and didn't embarrass yourself. It's been weeks since you've done anything trainwrecky, and I was really beginning to think that maybe, just maybe, you were going to start...

April 14, 2008: Dr. Phil Trounces on Human Decency, Again
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
I'm sure by now you have heard of that horrible story out of Florida with the teenagers luring a teenage girl to a house, beating the crap out of her, and recording it. I adamantly refuse to link to the video, because I think it's just disgusting that the sheriffs office released it. Especially since...

April 11, 2008: Vanilla Ice Reaches New Level of Choadiness
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
So, in what is starting to feel like my daily reporting on washed-up jackasses from the 80s and their inability to conduct themselves like humans, I bring you the following news: the douchebag pictured above got arrested last night.

April 11, 2008: Doogie Not Down With Stunt-Casting
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities , TV
Britney Spears' two minutes of screen time attracted one million extra viewers to How I Met Your Mother, but Neil Patrick Harris doesn't think it's a worthwhile trade.

April 11, 2008: Hilarious/Horrifying Newscaster Bloopers
Comments: 4 | Categories: Reality TV
"Bloopers" isn't totally accurate, as some of these people are actually being assaulted on air. The rest of them are the hapless victims of their own cutsie efforts to brighten up the news. Either way, it makes blogging look a lot safer, despite the heart attacks. http://view.break.com/485135 - Watch more free videos Meanwhile, in somewhat...

April 11, 2008: I Praise You: The Rockford Files
Comments: 3 | Categories: TV
Garner, Beery Praise be to Hulu.com and our benign dictators at NBC, as they have at last enabled me to substitute for my reality The Rockford Files. Through the miracle of the Internet, I have returned to 1975, only this time I am not a toddler: I am laconic private eye James Garner, and crusty...

April 11, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Amy Winehouse
Comments: 27 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
WINNAH! "Ceiling cat sends sekret SOS message: 'Help. Am stuck in ratz nest. Very skered. Get me out.'" courtesy of Baileyswedishfish! There were a TON of great ones though. You betches FUNNY. Yes, I realize she's leading the pack for "most captioned" here on MamaPop, but c'mon, can you blame us? LOOK. AT. HER. Do...

April 11, 2008: Tina Fey: RED HOT
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celebrities
Tina Fey, she so pretty.

April 11, 2008: Friday Eye Candy: Rednexmama Edition
Comments: 14 | Categories: Friday Eye Candy
We're back with another reader-inspired Friday Eye Candy, this time thanks to Rednexmama! She's got a wide variety of hotties in her group, so sit back and enjoy. This is Aaron Pritchett. He's a country star (I'm pretty sure). And he's definitely HOT. Keep reading for more reader-loved hotties.

April 11, 2008: "Leatherheads" Review
Comments: 1 | Categories: Movies
The problem with ensemble casts is that expectations are inevitably high. As if featuring three or more prominent actors in a single film, like Leatherheads, should guarantee success and garner accolades for the brilliance of the cast. For how else would they have risen to such a degree of fame without at least being somewhat...

April 10, 2008: More Signs Of The Coming Apocalypse: Kathy Griffin Goes Public With Adnan Ghalib
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities
Ummm... I don't even know what to say about this. Kathy Griffin and Adnan Ghalib (Britney's ex-paparazzo-boyfriend) were spotted shopping together at Victoria's Secret. Picking out underwear and coyly brushing fingertips and basically, you know, being kinda canoodly. Which, um, duuurrrr, what? For really? WHY?

April 10, 2008: Gossip Rag Thursday
Comments: 1 | Categories: Gossip Rag Thursday
Really OK Magazine? I just have this to say to you. Your photoshopper should be fired. That doesn't even LOOK like Jennifer Aniston (well, okay, it sort of does, but still). I'm betting their "touchups" went a little far there. And because of that I'm forced not to believe this story. Even though I want...

April 10, 2008: This Week In Covetousness
Comments: 0 | Categories: Link Love
Please join us over at MamaPop's sister site, We Covet, for better living through consumerism! Some of this week's top posts (errm, so far): Life Saver We Covet. Because we all have shemergencies! Kid's Stuff We Might Covet If They'd Call It Something Different. Muff Doll? ORLY? We Covet's The Cure Is Worse Than The...

April 10, 2008: LOLMarriage, 4/10
Comments: 3 | Categories: LOLMarriage
see more crazy cat pics It's Thursday and time for LOLMarriage. The actual LOLMarriage that I created is after the jump since it's slightly NSFW (nothing kinky, it just involves some bird flippage).

April 10, 2008: Ashlee Simpson and Captain Eyeliner* Engaged
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb News , Music
Ashlee Simpson, pictured above making the same effing face she always makes in pictures, is getting hitched to Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy, pictured above demonstrating once again that he is much more skilled than I will EVER be with an eye pencil.

April 10, 2008: Bret Michaels: Intentional Destroyer of Property
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Reality TV
And I don't just mean the defiling of these lovely ladies. (OH SNAP!)

April 10, 2008: Sean Penn & Robin Wright Penn: So Totally Not Divorcing Now
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch
That's right! Guess who is no longer up for destroying 11 years of marriage and wrecking the emotional lives of their two teenage sons? Woo-hoo!

April 10, 2008: George Clooney Hates The Internets
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
This, my friends, is heartbreaking: George Clooney thinks that the Internet is a bad place filled with pathetic, angry people. And all this time I thought that for sure he was an avid MamaPop reader and struggling mightily to prevent himself from falling madly in love with me, just on the basis of my magnificent...

April 10, 2008: Radcliffe Makes Nude Broadway Debut
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities , Pop Britannia
The Huffington Post reports that Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe is now old enough to take off his invisibility cloak and bare his googlie-mooglies when he brings the play Equus to Broadway in September. Dreams do come true! Actually, for my dream to really come true there'd be room for Ron Weasley in that barn...

April 10, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Natalie Portman And, Um...
Comments: 18 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
We can has caption? WINNAH: baileyswedishfish with... "Walking In Step" Lessons: $100 Matching Navy Pea Coats: $450 Oversize Hers and Hers Sunglasses: $200 Rogain for Men: $25 Boyfriend Who Carries Your Purse: Priceless' Honorable Mentions to Mandee and Asha for unabashedly showing off their Star Wars geekery. May the force be with you, ladies, always.

April 10, 2008: Barron Hilton Pleads No Contest to DUI
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
It's no surprise when a Hilton is in the the news for a DUI. But wait, it's not Paris, it's her little brother Barron. (On a side note, how did Nicky get so lucky in the naming department. They went with Nicky, Paris, and Barron? Is it a coincidence Nicky is the only relatively normal...

April 9, 2008: Naomi Campbell Banned From British Airways
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
Naomi Campbell was escorted off a British Airways flight last week and arrested on suspicion of assaulting a police officer. Yesterday, reports circulated she was banned from flying British Airways ever again. I didn't even know you could be banned from an airline. Campbell's spokeswoman in London said: "Naomi has been flying with British Airways...

April 9, 2008: Pamela Anderson To Star In Reality Show, Is Boning Criss Angel
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb News
There has to be a special circle of hell for this union, right? One where demons hold down the damned and spear them with giant silicon-injecting needles while screeching MIIIIIINDFREEEEEEAK!!!!!!, perhaps?

April 9, 2008: Unbreak Her Heart: Toni Braxton Hospitalized
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celebrities
I wouldn't ordinarily consider this kind of thing particularly newsworthy - celeb feels unwell, celeb goes to hospital, celeb's rep says that celeb is 'doing fine' - except that a) it's Toni Braxton, and I used to groove on Toni Braxton, once upon a time sometime way back in the mid-nineties, for, like, five minutes,...

April 9, 2008: Oprah: "What's Wrong with You, Bird? Stop Singing, Dammit!"
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities
Oprah Winfrey is an ardent admirer of Maya Angelou's work so she, of course, hosted some celebrations for the author's 80th birthday over the weekend. Page Six reports that she had a caged parrot as decor in reference to Angelou's classic book I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. Uh...

April 9, 2008: Mary Louise Parker and Jeffrey Dean Morgan Call It Off
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celeb News
Mary Louise Parker has called off her engagement with her Weeds costar, Jeffrey Dean Morgan. They'd been engaged since early this year and had been dating for a few years. People confirmed the split last night, but neither actor's rep would give a comment about what happened. People said their relationship had been "on-again, off-again."

April 9, 2008: Johnny Depp Is Officially Almost As Nice As Jesus
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
Note that I said almost. I wouldn't want to be, you know, heretical or anything, and anyway, I highly doubt that Johnny would die for our sins. (Turn water into wine, maybe, but only as Capt. Jack Sparrow, which sorta doesn't count and, also, turning water into wine is only self-sacrificial if one doesn't drink...

April 9, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Heidi Montag
Comments: 31 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Oh noes! What's wrong with Heidi? Tell us, dear readers. (I cannot pick just one! They are all too good.) WINNAH! Miss Britt: Ugh. I just don't know. Verdi? Latte? Why is my life so HARD?! HONORABLE MENTIONAHS! Suzy Q: The heartbreak of psoriasis? But, I'm so YOUNG! baileyswedishfish: Heidi is considering how she can...

April 8, 2008: Olsens Display One of the Unknown Side Effects of Not Having a Childhood
Comments: 12 | Categories: Celebrities
dlisted gives us this gem. It's a picture of one of the Olsen twins arriving for a wedding over the weekend. Supposedly, the twins didn't want to be photographed, hence the masks. I'm guessing that someone told them that the masks were invisibility cloaks but of course the problem there is that THIS IS EARTH...

April 8, 2008: Reminder: American Idol Open Thread Tonight!
Comments: 2 | Categories: Open Threads
We're down to eight, and feelin', errm, great? Great-ish? YEAH! ish! So suck it up and join me and my enormous bottle of wine tonight over in the American Idol Forum for the continuing saga of endless mediocre mediocrity (with a teeny tiny sprinkle of goodness thrown in for good measure). The frothy stew of...

April 8, 2008: Michael Jordan Asked to Take a Third Paternity Test
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
A third test... for the same kid. After the first two tests... came back negative. What?

April 8, 2008: Bravo Loses Project Runway to Lifetime
Comments: 8 | Categories: News , Reality TV , TV
This is a big hot tranny mess, y'all. For the next five seasons of Project Runway, Bravo is out and Lifetime is in. One more season will air on Bravo this summer, and then will start up again in November on Lifetime. UNLESS, of course, NBC (which owns Bravo) wins the lawsuit they filed against...

April 8, 2008: Disturbing Celebrity Quote Of The Week
Comments: 23 | Categories: Celebrities
Which celebrity, do you suppose, dropped this stomach-unsettling sound bite: "It's amazing how your stomach goes ‘boop' (after giving birth) and it's this jiggly mass. I EVEN PLAY with my little leftover belly." ("PLAY WITH MY LITTLE LEFTOVER BELLY?" I can has shudders?) (Caps and italics and bolding and all highlighty bizniss mine.)

April 8, 2008: Kidman Buys Home Near Cruise Brainwashing Compound
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrity Real Estate
Every time I see a candid photo of Nicole Kidman I think she looks too skinny and a little bit nuts. And then I watch one of her movies -- we Netflixed Fur this weekend and holy hand grenades it was good -- and watching her work reminds me that who cares if she dresses...

April 8, 2008: Sharon Stone's Basic Instinct
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celebrities
I'm just going to admit this right upfront: I have not clicked through to see the unblotted version of these pictures. I'm just not up for it. So, there's a very slim possibility that what those little circles are blotting out is a giant pair of granny panties. If you are very, very brave and/or...

April 8, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Mena Suvari
Comments: 7 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Mena Suvari, my friends, having a lovely time on a Florida beach last week. I know there's a caption in there somewhere and you're just the people to dig it out. Winner linked with love at the end of the day. WINNER! Aimee! "Squeeze booty, get the tongue. Squeeze booty, get the tongue. Squeeze booty,...

April 8, 2008: Princess Diana's Death Ruled Manslaughter After Inquest
Comments: 0 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , RIP
It's been all inquest, all the time, around these parts. The jury in the inquest into the 1997 deaths of Princess Diana and her boyfriend Dodi Fayed found yesterday that their deaths were akin to manslaughter. They deliberated for 23 hours and this was the most serious ruling available to them. They ruled the couple's...

April 7, 2008: Dane Cook Officially Has No Redeeming Qualities
Comments: 16 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes , Celebrities
An abridged list of offenses: 1) Dane Cook is not funny. 2) Dane Cook steals jokes from other, funny comedians and waters them down to fit his special, frat boy, Jager Bomb brand of humor. 3) Dane Cook does not pick up his dog's doo-doo.

April 7, 2008: DEAR HULKY!
Comments: 6 | Categories: DEAR HULKY
Dear Hulk, I am a 29 year old woman, in a very happy relationship with a wonderful man. However, I've been thinking lately about an old boyfriend. I'm not interested in getting back together with him, yet I never really got closure. What would you suggest I do to finally get over him and move...

April 7, 2008: Dina Lohan Is...Well, Still Being Dina Lohan
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Horror
Ohhhhhhh so THIS is a tad head-explode-y. Dina Lohan is like, SO TOTALLY CONCERNED about the negative tabloid attention her 14-year-old daughter Ali is getting these days. Because even though courting the tabs SO TOTALLY WORKED for Lindsay, apparently it's "scary" this time. "It's scary because I did it with Lindsay and got her to...

April 7, 2008: Posh Sucks
Comments: 3 | Categories: Celebrities
Oh, seriously? SERIOUSLY?

April 7, 2008: Photo In Search of a Caption: K-Fed
Comments: 14 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
K-Fed: "Wow, it's really true what they say about black dudes. I can't stop starin'!" Update! SuzyQ is our big weiner of the day. (Suzy, if you've got a blog you'd like linked here, comment and I'll add it.) Exes and ooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhs to you! Give me your best would-be captions for this photo, and the...

April 7, 2008: Tom Leaving Katie, Preparing To Announce Search For Replacement Starlet-Stepford Wife
Comments: 10 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch , Celebrities , Celebrity Babies
Apparently, OK! Magazine is about to report that Tom Cruise is going to leave Katie Holmes and take Suri with him. Which, I'll only believe when they release the Scientology video announcing that Katie is a body-Thetan-infested tool of Xenu. Because really? Tom Cruise might be batshit crazy, but he's not stupid. He's got enough...

April 7, 2008: Anne Hathaway's Boyfriend in a Heap of Trouble
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
Anne Hathaway's boyfriend Raffaello Follieri was arrested last week for allegedly writing a bad $215,000 check, but that is only a drop in the bucket when it comes to his legal troubles. His lawyer insists that, at least in this case, the debt the check was supposed to cover has been paid off. Seems like...

April 6, 2008: Charlton Heston, 1924 - 2008
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celebrities , News , RIP
The AP reports that Charlton Heston died Saturday night. He was 84. I wasn't a fan but...rest in peace, dude.

April 5, 2008: Mr. and Mrs. Jay-Hova!
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celebrities , Music
Forget Brangelina, the hottest newlyweds are Beyonce and Jay-Z. People reports that the musical power couple tied the knot last night.

April 4, 2008: Rock The Cradle: The Beginnings
Comments: 2 | Categories: Reality TV
With nine young wannabe stars trying to "take over the family business" by becoming stars in their own rites, Rock The Cradle was bound to be either a trainwreck or the best new reality show on television. Add into that all the parents of these young stars, who will not only be in the audience...

April 4, 2008: NKOTB Appears on Today Show in April to Tell You to Watch Today Show in May
Comments: 9 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Music , Pop Culture , Talk Shows , TV , Video
This is almost as bad as that time someone told me Joey like, totally had a girlfriend. Don't toy with me, McIntyre! So NKOTB did indeed appear on the Today Show this morning to officially announce their reunion album and tour and the date for their first live performance since 1994. And that date? Was...

April 4, 2008: Pregnant Man Gets Belly Rub from Oprah
Comments: 15 | Categories: Celebrity Babies , News , Pop Culture , Talk Shows
You've heard about the pregnant man . . . ? No, wait! That's Tom Cruise getting ready for his cameo in Tropic Thunder. HERE'S Oprah blessing the remarkable pregnant belly of Thomas Beatie:

April 4, 2008: I Praise You: Darkon
Comments: 5 | Categories: DVD , Movies
Hail Laconia! Hail Tharros, betches! I write to you in praise of Darkon, which I rented and returned overdue in my ongoing attempt to watch random movies at sporadic intervals and inform the public. I remembered Darkon from South by Southwest 2006, when it won the audience award, probably because it has lots of artsy...

April 4, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Mr. T Edition
Comments: 13 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
(NOTE: SO SORRY for the lateness on announcing a winner here -- I got stuck at Newark Airport yesterday, and yada yada, life delayed me.) WINNAH! DianaCLT: "Who stole my gold chains and left me wit dis doo-rag? I need my gold chains! I'm dizzyyyyyy" BWAHAHAAA! DianaCLT you rock. You rock so hard I'm dizzyyyyy!!...

April 4, 2008: Matthew McConaughey: Will Die For Sex
Comments: 8 | Categories: Celebrities
Matthew McConaughey says that he wants to die after having sex.

April 4, 2008: Hospital Worker Fired For Leaking Farrah Fawcett's Medical Records
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
From the when will people ever learn file, another employee of UCLA Medical Center was fired for unauthorized viewing and leaking of medical records, this time Farah Fawcett's. This is the same hospital that fired 16 workers for snooping in Britney Spears records. Think they need to do a HIPAA training? Farah was apparently the...

April 4, 2008: Friday Eye Candy: Reader Edition, Part One
Comments: 17 | Categories: Friday Eye Candy
After all the great pics we here at Mamapop have given you all, it's time we give you back some of your own pics. First up, we've got Jennifer's pics. She was even kind enough to send me links to some great pictures, so all the hard work was done for me. She even picked...

April 4, 2008: Robin Williams: Ewww
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
I don't want to be labelled ageist or misandrist or heightist or hirsutist, but I'm going to risk it here: why, for the love of Garp, would any woman want to sleep with Robin Williams? Seriously. I mean, he's a squat, hairy (really hairy) little man who has been having a mid-life crisis since, like,...

April 3, 2008: Gossip Rag Thursday
Comments: 11 | Categories: Gossip Rag Thursday
This week in gossip rags, Angie poses for racy photos. Racy because of the horrid scarf on her head? Or because now that they have those photos of her next to a photo of her now, we can all see the plastic surgery Angie's so CLEARLY had?!

April 3, 2008: Introducing LOLMarriage
Comments: 8 | Categories: LOLMarriage
In the grand internet tradition of LOLCats, Kelly and Angela bring you LOLMarriage, our weekly attempt to create hilarity out of domestic, uh... bliss! Yes, bliss. Exactly. Bliss, bliss, blissedy bliss. Marriage is lovely.* (Learn more and see the conclusion of my blissful leftoverz tale after the jump.)

April 3, 2008: The Hills' Jason Wahler to Star in His Own "Reality" Show
Comments: 4 | Categories: Reality TV
Jason Wahler, whom you may know as Lauren Conrad's ex and/or a douchebag who throws racist temper tantrums at cops and/or someone I wish wasn't on my side on the issue of whether Spencer Pratt is a lowlife, is getting his own show.

April 3, 2008: Jon Lajolie Video Roundup Times Nao!
Comments: 2 | Categories: Humor , Video
Pleased to meet teh funnies by comedian and YouTube Enthusiast Mister Jon Lajolie: First up, "Everyday Normal Guy Rap Song" (NSFW language):

April 3, 2008: Attention Addict Thrilled For New Excuse To Be On More Magazine Covers
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrities , Music , Print
I know, which one of 500 celebrities could I be talking about? My goodness, it's Madonna! Bursting out of her own biceps after too many early-morning pushups. I mean, flexing her enormous ego on the covers of Elle, Elle UK, Vanity Fair, and Interview leading up to the release of her new album, Hard Candy,...

April 3, 2008: Photo In Search Of A Caption: Kate And Anne
Comments: 12 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
(Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway) Best caption - determined according to highly arbitrary and totally subjective criteria know only to myself - announced late-ah! Have fun! And da winner is.... Chatty Cricket, for "Kate: Annie, honey, he bounced a $20,000 check and was hauled off in HANDCUFFS. It's time to dump the loser." YES.

April 3, 2008: Beyonce & Jay-Z: First Comes Love...?
Comments: 1 | Categories: Celeb Couple Watch
I don't know about you, but I, personally, was profoundly disappointed that Brad and Angie didn't (to the best of our current knowledge) get married last weeekend. I know that celebrity marriages don't amount to much, but seeing as there haven't been too many big celebrity births in the last week or so, and celebrity...

April 3, 2008: Woody Allen Suing Clothing Company
Comments: 4 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
Woody Allen filed a $10 million lawsuit against American Apparel on Monday for using his image without permission. The offending image is of Woody dressed up as a Hasidic rabbi taken from the movie Annie Hall. The image has been used in billboards in New York and California and on the Internet. Woody as a...

April 2, 2008: Rock The Cradle
Comments: 3 | Categories: Reality TV
Starting tomorrow night on MTV, the kids of some of America's most famous musicians (snort!) will be attempting to eclipse their parents' fame and fortune by competing American Idol style for a lucrative recording contract on the show Rock the Cradle. The catch? The audience gets to vote on which kids stay and which are...

April 2, 2008: "21" Review
Comments: 7 | Categories: Movies
I contemplated doing 21 bullet points for this movie since the filmmakers didn't feel the need to flesh out any details or character story lines then why should I flesh out sentences into paragraphs? That in no way means that I disliked this movie it just means that I am a person who craves character...

April 2, 2008: OMG! Best Video Evar!
Comments: 10 | Categories: Humor , Internet , Video , Web Junk
I stumbled across this the other day, and I have to say I'm utterly captivated. This may be the funniest, bestest video ever! Quick, go check it out, and then meet me after the jump for discussion...

April 2, 2008: Rick Schroeder's Son Is the Latest Victim of Spray Tan
Comments: 15 | Categories: Celebrities
Rick Schroeder has some good genes and I will happily admit to having a crush on him back in the Silver Spoons days. And I'm happy to report that he has passed those good genes along to his four children. So, with all of those good genes bouncing around, why in the hell did Rick...

April 2, 2008: Sean Levert's Jailhouse Death Confusing at Best
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities , Music
Sean Levert, a member of 80s R&B trio LeVert, brother of Gerald Levert and son of Eddie Levert of the O'Jays, died over the weekend in a Cleveland hospital after arriving there from his jail cell. He was only 39 years old.

April 2, 2008: Jamie Lynn Spears Says It With T-Shirts
Comments: 6 | Categories: Celebrity Babies
So. First, there was the t-shirt that you see above: "The Rumors Are True." Which, as a professional rumor-spreader, I'm not sure how to take. Is it ironic? Is it sarcastic? Does it refer to recent rumors about her engagement to Casey Aldridge? Or to her rumored impregnation by some skeezy, much-older producer? Or to...

April 2, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption: Paris Hilton Eats It
Comments: 18 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Yep, that's her, right after randomly hitting the pavement in Prague. Wha' happened? You tell us and the best caption gets linked and eternally adored at close o' bizness.

April 1, 2008: Your First Editions of the Pendragon Cycle Tell Me that We Won't Be Bumpin' Uglies. Sry.
Comments: 13 | Categories: Books , News
Does not = teh sex. So, you read the internet, right? If so, by now you've probably seen a link to this essay in the NY Times about literary dealbreakers, books that thoroughly kill the mood when you realize that a potential paramour is a fan. Take a second and read it because seriously, I...

April 1, 2008: Reminder: American Idol Open Thread Tonight!
Comments: 5 | Categories: Open Threads
Just a wee reminder for y'all to please join us over at MamaPopTalk's AI forum tonight, 8pm ET for more open thread awesome. Tonight the Top 9 will be under the tutelage of Dolly Parton and her breastises, though it sounds like all three of them will be about at helpful as Paula after a...

April 1, 2008: Stalker Shows Up at John Cusack's House
Comments: 7 | Categories: Celeb News , Celebrities
Emily Leatherman, shown above left looking totally bizarre, showed up at John Cusack's house on Sunday, despite a restraining order that says she's not supposed to do that.

April 1, 2008: Set Your TiVos: NKOTB to Reunite on the Today Show
Comments: 22 | Categories: Celeb News , Music , Pop Culture
Like, ommmmmmmmmg. After a couple months of confirmations and denials and some back-and-forth wishy-washing from the band, the long-awaited New Kids on the Block reunion of ironic irony is finally happening. This Friday, on the Today Show. Whew! So I still have a few days to rip up some acid-washed jeans and try to remember...

April 1, 2008: Jennifer Aniston On Crack
Comments: 5 | Categories: Celebrities
So, you know, I suppose that I could have saved this picture for one of our Photo In Search Of A Caption features, but really? There is just too much that can and should be said about this picture and I really wanted to sort that shiz out for myself. The butt crack: yes, it...

April 1, 2008: New Winehouse Album Full of Suicide, Goth Crossover Welcomed
Comments: 1 | Categories: Music
According to The Sun, which means the hysteria index on this story is going to be threat-level ORANGE, Amy Winehouse's next album is going to FULL OF SUICIDE.

April 1, 2008: From The Total Awesomeness Files: Obama Takes On Hasselbeck
Comments: 17 | Categories: Politics , Talk Shows
Seriously. If I were American? I would totally be rooting for Barack Obama just on the basis of his genius handling of the stupidity that is Elisabeth Hasselbeck:

April 1, 2008: Photo in Search of a Caption
Comments: 14 | Categories: Photo In Search Of A Caption
Oh, look, it's Jennifer Aniston! This photo needs a caption and YOU'RE THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN DO IT JUSTICE. Winner linked and posted at the end of the day. WINNER: "Miss, can you speak closer and clearer into the butt crack please? Was that one diet and one regular coke?" Thank you, Trish! That...

April 1, 2008: Daniel Smith's Death Officially Ruled Accidental
Comments: 2 | Categories: Celeb Legal Woes
An inquest into the death of Anna Nicole Smith's son Daniel concluded on Monday. A jury in the Bahamas ruled that he died of an accidental overdose after a less than two hour deliberation. The jury unanimously concluded Daniel died from "non-dependent drug use" which means he wasn't addicted to what killed him and was...