Just What The World Needs: More Celebrity Concept Albums

I have nothing against Scarlett Johansson. I loved Ghost World. I liked Lost In Translation, too, although that really had more to do with Bill Murray than with Scarlett herself, who was, if you ask me, a little on the dull side. I have no intention of seeing The Other Boleyn Girl, but that's more to do with my lack of interest in historical chick-flicks and, also, with ScarJo's seeming lack of eyebrows in that film, which I find inexplicably creepy, than with anything specific to her as a performer.

So it's nothing personal when I say, Scarlett Johansson's album of Tom Waits covers? DO NOT WANT.

I am, as it happens, a Tom Waits fan, which makes this all the worse. Scarlett Johansson recording an 'ambient' collection of Waits covers seems as near to musical heresy as would Lindsay Lohan recording hip-hop versions of Johnny Cash's greatest hits (or, say, Heidi Montag recording anything and comparing herself to Madonna). It is to make the ears bleed before the iPod has even been turned on.

Scarjo might have a decent voice, but I wouldn't know, because I couldn't make it through the interminable organ solo at the beginning of the track released by Warner Bros. That's right: ORGAN SOLO. So even though one might convince me to let go of my prejudices about celebrity concept albums (seriously, though: has there ever been a really good album by a celebrity? Did we learn nothing from Eddie Murphy's My Girl Wants To Party All The Time?), no one - NO ONE - is going to convince me to sit through some electronic mix of what seems to be, again, an organ solo in order to properly confirm or reject prejudices in this case.

You can have a go, if you like. The track can be found here. You might want to have an espresso or six before you attempt a listen, though. Trust me.

Comments

[JennyM]

Holy lord, the intro is 3:30 long.

Once the singing starts -- it's... well, hmmmm. I don't know. I don't hate it, and in the right circumstances I might enjoy it. Those circumstances would require more incense, dim lighting and intoxicants than I have available in my office right now, though.

[Nick]

I'm a big Tom Waits fan, and that wasn't nearly the terrible trainwreck I thought it would be, and in fact I rather enjoyed it. Her voice sort of reminds me of Nico with the Velvet Underground. I think the cover of the album is cheesy though.

[missbanshee]

I love Tom Waits with EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING. I cannot, CANNOT even entertain the idea of this, much less actually listen to it. Blasphemy. Utter blasphemy.

[jamiegp]

But wasn't she awesome in Entourage? True, it was maybe a total 10 second appearance.

[Jennifer]

Tom Waits should NEVER be covered. Simple as that. I don't care who it is...Tom Waits should. Never. Be. Covered.