Pregnant Man Gets Belly Rub from Oprah

You've heard about the pregnant man . . . ?

No, wait! That's Tom Cruise getting ready for his cameo in Tropic Thunder. HERE'S Oprah blessing the remarkable pregnant belly of Thomas Beatie:

Thomas Beatie is a transgendered man who, despite breast removal surgery, hormone treatments, and marriage, kept his female reproductive organs, and it's a good thing he did! His wife, Nancy, was unable to conceive, due to a hysterectomy she'd had years ago due to severe endometriosis, so Thomas stepped in and got the job done at home with frozen donor sperm after every fertility doctor he approached turned him down. His first pregnancy was ectopic but the second one took. It's an amazing story, and I can't help pulling for him because what husband wouldn't want to be able to offer to carry a baby if his wife couldn't?

The couple runs a print shop in Bend, Oregon, and according to a fascinating article Beatie wrote for The Advocate, their neighbors don't believe he's really pregnant. Because they think he's a man! Makes sense to me.

Oprah, who's paid to be nosy, asked Beatie a couple of times whether he'd had penis implant surgery.

“I opted not to do anything to my reproductive organs, because I wanted to have a child one day.”

Oprah asked him if it was a conflict for him to be pregnant and he said “I have very stable male gender identity. I see it as a process, and it doesn’t define who I am.”

“I feel it’s not a male or female desire to want to have a child, it’s a human desire. I’m a person and I have the right to have my own biological child.”

Oprah couldn't let it go at that, naturally, because she's like cancer, she never stops. Asking about Beatie's male hormone treatments (he discontinued testosterone when he decided to get pregnant): "Does the clitoris get larger?"

“It does. It looks like a penis. A small penis. Does it matter?” [crowd laughs and claps]

He also said “I can have intercourse with my wife.”

Oh! That's good.

More transcript fun and pictures from the Oprah interview can be found here.

A full story about Beatie in the London Times is here.

Comments

[Isabel]

I saw a preview for this on the local Seattle news last night. I was like "What the crap?! How is a guy pregnant?!" This makes more sense. Phew.

[Teresa]

I found it sad that they had discussed living in hiding. Although I can understand the reasons for such a conversation. I hope they have the support, acceptance, and peace they need to complete this pregnancy and raise their little girl.

[Beth]

I've wanted to talk about the show, but even the normally great TWOP message boards are filled with idiocy about this particular show.

I do have a problem with the way the show was promoted, because of course people are going to say, "Oh, he's not REALLY a man!" Like they actually thought science can impregnate someone without a uterus and you would hear about it first on OPRAH?

I wanted to know so much more about the legalities - who will the birth certificate list as the mother? Thomas is legally a man - how could he be listed as the mother?

Can he be listed as the father, and can Nancy be listed as the mother even though she didn't give birth?

Will they have to go through what is essentially the adoption process to be listed correctly on the birth certificates as their child's own parents?

Will their insurance company pay for the birth, since Thomas is likely enrolled in their plan as a male?

These are the questions I wanted Oprah to address, and instead, she asks whether testosterone makes you GROW TESTICLES. Sometimes I think she is borderline retarded.

[Maxine Dangerous]

I also thought Beatie was biologically male when I first heard about the story. I'd heard or read once that a man could carry a child to full-term and deliver by Cesarean, but I'm not sure where I saw the info.

I wish the couple the best. There can't be many things better in the world than a child who is so wanted and will be born to two loving parents. :)

[Suzy Q]

Oprah actually asked if testosterone makes a person grow testicles? Holy crap! How fucking stupid can she be? I guess she also doesn't know her own body produces testosterone, or she'd be checkin' between her legs every day.

[robyn]

http://www.malepregnancy.com/

technically this is the first man to get pregnant, if you go by gender identity. although i'm super excited this type of gender "bending" when it comes to pregnancy is getting noticed, and that a trans man was (for the most part) accepted onto a show that's not Jerry Springer or Montel.

[Lindsay]

Ok- Victoria Mai had this to say on the London Times website:

I, for one, and upset by this story. The human race has become selfish and self absorbed. This woman made a conscious decision to become a man. In doing so she should have been forced to give up all of her reproductive organs. It is not a matter of living your life and doing what you want, it is a matter of being conscious of those around you. I don’t want my children looking at men and wondering why they are pregnant. Flaunting your story on Oprah, in magazine and on T.V. shows is forcing your beliefs on me. If they want to live there lives as confused individuals then so be it. But I would rather I didn’t have to hear about it. Is anyone concerned about the mother who has to explain to her child why a man is pregnant or what affect that has on the child? Does anyone wonder what effect this will have on the generation growing up? When you make choices like these you are affecting the world not just your family. No one cares about anyone but themselves and that is what is wrong.No one cares about anyone but themselves and that is what is wrong. When Thomas decided to become a man he should have understood what that meant. You should not be allowed to have your cake and eat it to.

-Victoria Mai, Chicago, IL

I'm totally embarassed that this woman lives in my fair city of Chicago. How dumb can people be? If you're this closeminded, I wouldn't give out my full name where I could be harassed for stupidity.

[j3n]

Beth

I really enjoyed reading your comment, it asked many of the same questions I have. I wonder if anyone will actually ask these questions, I'm sure their are many TG folks out there who are curious as to the legalities of the situation.

[b]

Oprah = Bate + Switch. I hate her. I am disappointed they went on her show. Maybe she just has the biggest audience. Regardless, I kind of went, "Oh. BFD.?" because I was expecting some guy had his wife's pregnant uterus transplanted into his body. I know, I'm an ass.

[margemayhem]

I say big whoop. He's biologically a woman. I don't understand why it's a big deal that he's pregnant.

[Alyson]

I'm slightly horrified by this but only slightly. I am also horrified by touching the stomach of pregnant friends, totally creeped out by the hardness - do not know what I'll do should I ever get pregnant. My one other thought is - well, I guess this isn't one of those cases of a genetically male hermaphrodite that was made female for the easiness factor, eh?

I lied, two thoughts. I just can't wrap my brain around the wife portion of this. Did she know him before, when he was a her? Did they meet after? I only made it about halfway through middlesex but I'm pretty sure he wasn't having sex and he was a male. Weird.

All my other questions have been covered by previous comments - the insurance thing was a good one.

[E's Mommy]

He might be able to go on the birth certificate as the father depending on who does the paperwork. We're a 2 mom family and when my son was readopted in the US after his international adoption our county issued a birth certificate that lists us both as mother. We live in a very liberal county so the courts were fine requesting it. I would guess in my city that a transgendered man could be listed as father on the birth certificate even though he gave birth to the baby. I don't know how that will pan out in Bend, OR.

[ivymae]

As someone who took a bunch of gender studies classes when I was in college (even though they didn't offer a major, which they do now, grrr) I'm really excited to see what papers and new ideas about gender this brings up in the next few years. Thomas obviously has a very fluid view of gender, as does his wife, but how will their publicizing their view pan out in the general population? Yes, the Oprah stunt was more freekshow than indepth discussion, but it did get the idea out there to millions of people who had never thought about the gray area between the genders.

[DianaCLT]

I watched the show, and hope for the absolute best for this couple. They seem so genuinely loving and in love. The wife's grown daughters (from a previous marriage) were in the audience, and they were so completely supportive of their mother, her husband, and their future sister. One even said that she and her own husband consider her mom and hubby to be role models of what a marriage is and should be.

As far as Oprah's questions...I actually wasn't too put off by it. While I definitely would have liked to know the answers to the more pertinent questions posted above, I think she was asking the questions that the majority of the public want to know, even though some were definitely intrusive (like asking if the testosterone made his clit longer - which is when he commented that it was like a (small, but functioning!) penis now). I thought he handled her questions very well - even joking that it's not the size that matters. The fact is that there are lots of very sheltered and/or small-minded folks out there, and this was the first glimpse of a lot of things for those folks!

Now - can we get to what is REALLY on my mind?!? WTF is up with that picture of Tom Cruise?!? Yes, I get that he's in partial make-up/costume for a role, but look beneath it. He is the color of paste, not a hint of muscle tone, and his nearing-man-boobs are already giving into gravity! Is Katie really turned on by this?!? I realize that he looks like many his age - but she's young and hot and was dating the very-in-shape Chris Klein before she hooked up with Tom Cruise. Does this really work for her????

[rednexmama]

"Is anyone concerned about the mother who has to explain to her child why a man is pregnant or what affect that has on the child?" Seriously? Like seeing something out of the ordinary is going to permanently scar your child??? You would think the explanation could be, "Well, the mommy got very sick and wasn't able to have a baby. But because the daddy had some special parts, he was able to help the mommy so they could have a baby together. Because he loved the mommy very much." You would think the fact that these people love each other enough to undergo public scrutiny, fear, and even hatred, in order to have a family together would be worth something.

I don't necessarily understand the mechanics involved, nor do I really "get" the idea of gender fluidity (it's kind of black and white to me). But love and family? That I CAN understand. I only wish more people did and were willing to pass that along to their children.