Still More Signs Of The Coming Apocalypse: Spencer and Heidi Pitching Reality Show

Had you asked me yesterday which celebrity I thought should most NOT get their own reality TV show, I would have said Britney Spears. Because, you know, been there, hated that, and also, please, can't we just let her try to detrainwreckify herself on her own? Doesn't filming the trainwreck just make it all the worse?

Anyway. That's old news. TODAY I will tell you that the so-called celebrities on the top of my DO NOT TELEVISE list are Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag. But do you think anyone will listen to me? No.

Spencer and Heidi - who are, as you are no doubt painfully aware, the most excruciating pair of nobodies to impose their vapidness upon the world since Paris hooked up with one of those brain-dead Greek shipping heirs, I forget which - are reportedly pitching a reality TV series that will focus entirely on them and their vapidness and their vapidly vapid and also no doubt mind-suckingly boring not to mention entirely contrived engagement and wedding.

Which, BLLLEEEECCCCCH. I didn't even want to watch Rob and Amber get married, and I kinda liked them. Spencer and Heidi, I hate. Hate with the blazing heat of a thousand suns. And the only thing worse for me than watching a half-hour of Speidi disgustingness would be watching a half-hour of Speidi wedding-themed disgustingness.

Which is not to say that I won't watch it at least once - you know, just to confirm that those are the hoofbeats of the Four Horsemen that I hear in the distance - but I will definitely be shoving sticks in my eyes while I do so.

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