A Little Perspective for Mother's Day, Speidi-Style

Mamas, did your husband go golfing instead of making you breakfast in bed yesterday? Did your kids forget to call? Was your precious homemade card covered in toddler mucus and several communicable stomach bugs?

Remember: IT COULD ALWAYS BE SO MUCH WORSE.

Your daughter could, for example, use the holiday for yet another ridiculous posed photo shoot with her jackass boyfriend who is now sporting blond chin pubes, and she could also your gifts solely based of how visible they are via a zoom lens.

(BTW, that is the fakest fake Birkin I have seen this side of eBay, but then again, spotting ANYTHING vaguely authentic about a Speidi photo-op would probably rip a hole in the space-time continuum.)

(PS to Heidi: GET YO' JEANS HEMMED PROPERLY.)

Photos from JustJared via ONTD

Comments

[Val]

HATE.HATE.HATE THEM AND THEIR FAKEY FAKENESS!!

[Baileyswedishfish]

1) How the hell does she walk in lawn in those shoes? Teenie Tiny Pointie Head--I mean...Heels, tend to sink. Why couldn't she sink and sink and sink and never come back?

2)On your mark...get set...MARCH! Quick step! Towards the camera! Smile!

3) Who the hell carries a humongous purse around like that for a photo op? (Don't answer that)

4) I see London, I see a Moscovite, I see Mommy's Cellulite.

5)Huge card. Makes that whole "writing with crayons" thing easier. And gives them so much room to write..Happee Muthherz Daeye...

[Wubbie]

I've never even watched The Hills and those two still creep me out/make me want to vomit.

[BaltimoreGal]

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa! That last picture makes me want to gouge out my eyes.

[anna]

Please, someone make it stop. Who the F*** are these people, anyway. I have no clue why they are pseudo-famous, but their dazed, sh*t-eating pieholes are everywhere. Will someone please clue me in as to who and why these people exist?

[rednexmama]

OK, so granted, I'm not really into PDAs but if my fiance had his hand that far up my thigh in front of my MOM I would be mortified! Like, honestly, do you need to be sucking face in front of the moms??? Ick. Ick. Ick.

[Baileyswedishfish]

*Air Kisses!*

gak

[Nic]

There's so much anger and violence in the world, it's hard for me to understand why some of it hasn't been directed towards them. God what I would give for a streaking monkey to beat them senseless during their poses.

[MB]

That is so many kinds of wrong.

Ew.

[kim cotterman]

"I know it's Mothers Day and it supposed to be about you, but if you want your present, meet us at the park. PS make sure your hair and make up are done because we might take pictures..........

[Liana]

UGH. Also, EW. This is new low, dragging her poor mom into this...sadly, the mom doesn't seem too disturbed...hmmm. Maybe now we know where Heidi gets her plastic and obviously fake posing ability?

[Cheryl]

Ugh, these photos are even more disturbing than the ones of Beyone's kiddie porn clothing line. Just what ever mom wants to see on mother's day...her daughter sitting in her maniacally grinning boyfriend's lap. This is some disgustingly inappropriate excessive affection. Seriously, he's kissing her cheek WHILE she's giving her mom the flowers. BACK OFF, CRAZY EYES!

[Cheryl]

Ugh, these photos are even more disturbing than the ones of Beyone's kiddie porn clothing line. Just what ever mom wants to see on mother's day...her daughter sitting in her maniacally grinning boyfriend's lap. This is some disgustingly inappropriate excessive affection. Seriously, he's kissing her cheek WHILE she's giving her mom the flowers. BACK OFF, CRAZY EYES!

[Cheryl]

Ugh, these photos are even more disturbing than the ones of Beyone's kiddie porn clothing line. Just what ever mom wants to see on mother's day...her daughter sitting in her maniacally grinning boyfriend's lap. This is some disgustingly inappropriate excessive affection. Seriously, he's kissing her cheek WHILE she's giving her mom the flowers. BACK OFF, CRAZY EYES!

[Cheryl]

Ugh, these photos are even more disturbing than the ones of Beyone's kiddie porn clothing line. Just what ever mom wants to see on mother's day...her daughter sitting in her maniacally grinning boyfriend's lap. This is some disgustingly inappropriate excessive affection. Seriously, he's kissing her cheek WHILE she's giving her mom the flowers. BACK OFF, CRAZY EYES!

[Sils]

I think my brain just started leaking out my ears.

[Cheryl]

OMG why did my comment post FOUR TIMES?! How embarrassing. That is even more obnoxious than these photos. Sorry!

[Aneeda]

Does anyone else get the feeling that they're in on the joke?

[Diane]

Cheryl - Don't sweat it. Your "BACK OFF, CRAZY EYES!" was so damn funny, and the multi-post only made it better. ;)

[Suzy Q]

Heidi's gonna be on the Ellen show...NOW!

[Suzy Q]

Aneeda: No.

I get the feeling that the Heidi apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Fake LV, fake Birkin, fake everything! Ew, ick, and NO.

On Ellen, she was "wearing" a tiny peach top with almost her entire turquoise bra showing. Klassy! Ellen's best question: "Why is that show on?"

[Her Bad Mother]

Chin pubes. That almost put me into labor right there.

[emily]

she looked like a cheap hooker on ellen. nice skirt. anyway, did anyone else get the impression that ellen was mocking her throughout the entire interview? ha ha. loves me some ellen!

[ndc]

What is it about these two that makes me want to stab my eyes with a sharp pencil everytime I see them? I would rather listen to Paris Hilton "converse" than look at pics of these two idiots.

[Sonia]

Not that the paparazzi typically have discerning taste, but WHICH ONE keeps showing up to these fake damn photo ops?!!!! This one is particularly faketastic. Even worse than the Valentine's Day boat photos. *gag*