And Then, The Internet Imploded: TomCruise.com

I am so not even kidding about this: Tom Cruise has launched his own website.

It's about as flashy as a website can get, with all sorts of creepy pictures of Tom with video of his movies running in the background and - depending upon which page you end up at - the theme to Mission: Impossible or Risky Business providing a sort of creepy muzak soundtrack to the whole thing.

The best part? The site includes a special message from Tom, which I can't reproduce here because a) it's incomprehensible, and b) it doesn't allow for cutting and pasting, and I simply refuse to transcribe the mindless babbling of one of Tom Cruise's lesser PR engineers.

Basically, it's just soundbite-perfect prattle about oh how he loves movies and oh how lucky he is and oh how he hopes that this humble website will allow you to join him on his oh so fortunate journey through oh-hai-I'm-Tom-Cruise-ACTORMAN-land.

Which, you know: SO NOT INTERESTED.

What is interesting is that there is no mention - none, zip, zero - of Katie or Suri or Scientology or anything to suggest that he is anything other than That Guy Who Danced In His Underwear and That Guy Who Hung Upside-Down By Wires In That Action Movie and also That Guy Who Flew Jets Alongside Val Kilmer In That One Movie That Also Maybe Had Meg Ryan Pre-Lip-Burst In It.

So, this is either a complicated PR attempt to spin Tom as actorly as opposed to crazy, or a very slick singles ad.

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