Angelina Single-Handedly Topples The Sex Tape Trend

This just in: there's a rumor brewing that - get this - Angelina Jolie was caught on tape doing drugs, way back in her youth.

That's right. Angie did drugs. Are you as shocked as I am? I mean, I knew that she was maybe cutting herself and wearing vials of blood around her neck, but drugs omg rly? Stop the presses.

I dunno. Maybe it's the fact that it was (reportedly) caught on tape that's gonna make this a big story, or maybe it's the fact that it was (reportedly) heroin or, maybe, it's simply that she's got such a do-gooder image now that it's impossible to imagine her doing anything remotely risque (which, ha. Isn't this the woman who  solo-pilots light aircraft in the first trimester of pregnancy?) Whatever.

It's the National Enquirer that's reporting this, so, obviously, grains of salt and whatever, but still. Angelina's been pretty upfront about her past drug use, so what's the big?

Well, The Enquirer reports that a source said the tape is from the 90's, around the time that Angelina shot the movie Gia, and that "The key part of the tape is Angelina doing heroin. She says, 'Wow, this is really good smack - not that cheap crap that's been stepped on.' Angelina is seen sniffing white lines from a plate, and then as the drug cooks on tinfoil, she deeply sucks in its smoke through a tube."

Ah. So we learn that Angie preferred good drugs - not the kind that've been stepped on, which, you know, really are sub-standard. And, she did her lines from a plate.

Clearly, she was destined for greatness.

Source