From The WTF Files: Beyonce Pimps Up Kindergarten

When that whole Miley Cyrus 'Oh Hai I Can Has Sheets'/Vanity Fair photo controversy spilled out onto the internets, I was pretty skeeved by the whole thing. Not because omg she showed her back omg, but because the picture in question was pretty clearly intended to evoke an explicitly Lolita-ish mood: the tousled hair, the smudged lipstick, the young girl clutching a silk sheet to her naked chest - all of it screamed  coitus has been had and not in the backseat of a car with a pimply boyfriend either. So it wasn't so much that Miley Cyrus posed with a sheet wrapped around her chest that bothered me - it was everything that that sheet and the pose and the photograph itself signified.

Similarly, these ads for Beyonce's new clothing line for girls. It's not like these - what? - kindergarden-age girls are wearing crop-tops and mini-skirts and thong Dora panties. So it's not an obvious Little Miss Streetwalker look, but it is a look that - like the Miley photo - is meant to convey a kind of sexual maturity that I find disturbing in when it's associated with children.

I like a little rocker-chic for girls as much as the next hipster-doofus parent. I like a little denim jacket-and-jeans combo. I could see myself tucking a little leopard-print fedora into my toddler's dress-up box. And maybe - MAYBE - dressing up in snug-fitting leather and glittery red hooker heels is just today's variation on yesterday's princess costume. There are all sorts of things that one can say to make this all seem, yanno, whatever. BUT.

I just can't get past the whole Doncha-Wish-Your-Preschooler-Was-Hot-Like-Me / I-Don't-Think-You're-Ready-For-This-Toddler-Jelly vibe of the whole thing. It's, like, Jon Benet gone hip-hop, and I'm just not sure that the hip-hoppy, rock 'n' rolly edge here makes that kind of thing any less creepy. Sure, those little girls are covered up - as Miley was - but so are most of those disturbing pageantized tots in their ruffled satin. It's not inches of fabric (or lack thereof) - that confer creepiness - it's the sexual maturity implied by a hip being cocked coyly at the camera, the vacant, open-lipped Guess-model stare, the slightly lipstick-smudged pout of the tot in the corner. Paris would be proud.

Aaaaagh.

I'm now officially a cranky, stuffy old mom, aren't I?

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Comments

[Sils]

We call them prosti-tots in my circle, the little girls dressed in the hoochie clothes. It's just gross.

[Cheryl]

I'm not even a mom yet and I find this supremely disturbing. I HATE how quickly little girls get into teenage-esque fashion and caring about how they look these days.

[Michelle]

Prosti-tots - BLAHA! Thanks, Sils for the imagery!

And Beyonce, just because your momma dressed and still dresses you funny, it doesn't give your the right to encourage other mothers to follow in her skankification footsteps!

[Anna]

why would anyone want to dress their little girl up like some trampy ho you'd find hanging on a pole at some sleazy nightclub? Horrifying.

[Amie]

It is EXTREMELY disturbing how young they start sexualizing them. And it makes me very happy that my eight, almost nine-year-old daughter is happiest wearing regular old run-of-the-mill baggy jeans and tee-shirts. Even if we have a hard time getting her to make sure they're CLEAN before she puts them on.

[b]

The one good thing about living in the south is that shapeless smocked dresses are THE THING. Which is a good thing b/c I downloaded a photo of my daughter in jeans and her undershirt, and damn if she didn't look all sorts of grown. I never realized how the cut of jeans could even make a four year old look sexy. EW!

[Nic]

My kids are going to be wearing turtlenecks and jumpers. Also, it's shit like this that makes me thing fundamental conservatism is a good thing and then I just get a blinding headache and need wine.

[jenny]

I'm ready to join the cranky, stuffy old mom club. Things like that make me happy I have two boys.

[rebecca]

WTF is right...I won't even let violet wear a 2-piece swinsuit, and yet i am supposed to give her high heels?!? I DON"T think so. Way to breed a new crop of Ho's, Beyonce.

[Robyn G]

Place me firmly in the SCOM (Stuffy Cranky Old Mom) club (founding member: jenny). I find this and all Bratz-related looks like this just creepy.

Even worse than Beyonce are the ones who will choose to buy this stuff.

[JennC]

WTH? What's wrong with freaking Garanimals? What's wrong with letting little kids dress (and look) like little kids? I'm not a mom myself (yet), but I'll be damned if I'd buy any of those pseudo-whore clothes for my little girl. Seriously. Kids that age don't care about fasion. They care about Elmo, Thomas, and Dora.

Unless I've been incredibly misinformed, and in that case? Am never having children.

[tvaddict]

That is totally and utterly ridiculous. I cannot even barely type I am so ticked off looking at this. Not only the clothes but look at the makeup on these kids!?!?! Who in their right name lets young kids wear red and bright pink lipstick?

[Liana]

Are those STRIPPER HEELS on the little Asian girl on the right? AIIEEEEE!
High heels for young kids are a BAD IDEA no matter what style they are, anyway! Sure, let's give our children a head-start on pinched toes and back problems and years of walking incorrectly. GREAT idea. :(
And the hair on most of those girls DEFINITELY evokes a JonBenet vibe, and we all know how SHE ended up, poor child. Messed. UP.

[BaltimoreGal]

I think it is evident to anyone with any SENSE that this is a terrible idea.

...also, "Toddler Jelly" brings some awesomely hilarious images to mind.

[rednexmama]

As mom to a wicked little 2.5yr old, I can totally confirm that she cares way more about whether or not she looks like a "princess" than if she's "hip". I intentionally veer towards the old-school preppy, gingham/cotton dress/capris/bows in hair/twinset look. It might make me seem too "traditional", but at least my kid isn't wearing pleather pants at four (sister, you know who you are). And if I hear one more argument of "It's what she likes..." or "It's what's in style" or "That's all she'll wear" I'm going to scream!!! At what point do we, as parents, learn to just freaking say NO!!! There is a LINE, and that crap is going WAY over it... Now I'm not saying you need to girl your kid up like mine, but what's wrong with jeans, flip flops and a t-shirt? Want to give it "edge"??? How's about Ruby Gloom barrettes, of wicked toddler Vans?

[disnazzio]

Meh. These clothes are ugly as sin, and child models are nearly always wearing more makeup than I've worn in the entire three decades I've been alive, so Dereon isn't likely to be my brand of choice for my kid's back to school wardrobe or anything. However, some of these comments are honestly perplexing. I thought for a second that maybe there was another picture here earlier and Catherine changed it after some of the comments, because people are responding to shit that I'm not even seeing.

[disnazzio]

And before anyone leaps all up into my grill, yes, I see the high heels, and yes, I agree that's ridiculous. Otherwise, I see kids in jeans and ugly jackets, and one of them has a feather boa on. You could pry my kid's feather boa out of her cold, dead hands, and that goes for every other five-year-old girl I interact with.

[kdiddy]

I do feel the need to clarify that, as far as I can tell, the heels are in a woman's size. The little girl isn't wearing high heels made for her, she's playing grown-up and wearing someone's (ie, her mom's, her aunt's, whatever) high heels. Sure, this isn't the healthiest behavior from a feminist perspective, but I and many other women tried on our mom's heels when we were little. It's not totally uncommon. (Is it?)

I have to be honest that I don't really see the premature-sexualization here. None of the poses are provocative. Sassy at most. The clothes are ugly, for certain.

[kdiddy]

also, if these clothes are equal to stripper clothes...then y'all need to find some better strip clubs. seriously.

[Her Bad Mother]

Angela, kdiddy - I agree with you on the clothes (if my kid could get her hands on a boa, she'd never let it out), which is why I was a bit twitchy-ambivalent in the post. Taken as pieces, there's nothing there (in the clothes) that I take offense to (other than aesthetically). It's the posturing and the mood/vibe of the ad - the hoochie-grown-upness of at all. Like I said, take your average pageant-tot and break it down and there's nothing inherently sexual about a mini-satin-prom-dress - but throw in a come-hither pose and some lipstick in that tot, and becomes a bit creepy. The hip-hop element here doesn't make it any better, I don't think. (also - there were more, close-up pictures that were a touch more disturbing, but they were all watermarked. And the originals have been removed from the Dereon website.)

But as I said - I'm old and cranky and I hadn't had my coffee yet. Translation: in this kind of mood, I have no energy to face seeing my daughter in anything other than overalls and mary-janes. Even Ariel pisses me off.