Who Cares Who Wins Hell's Kitchen?

Authored by Super Special Guest Poster and Honorary MamaPop Betch, Sarah of Sarah And The Goon Squad

Why don't I care about "Hell's Kitchen" this season? This has been bothering me for a few weeks now. I had all these thoughts floating around in my little head and I didn't know what to do with them. Then I got an e-mail about guest posting on MamaPop and it seemed perfect.

So why don't I care? This is why - There is nobody to root for this season. I don't want any of them to win. The guys? Matt is a whiny little bitch. Booby can talk trash way better than he can cook (and he doesn't talk trash that well) Petrozza? well first of all he goes by Petrozza and second of all he isn't even close to being worthy of having his own kitchen. Don't even get me started on the women. I honestly think Christina will win because she is the least hated. She is the least bad at working in the kitchen. The Queen of the Fuck Ups. Whatever. I don't care.

"Top Chef" on the other hand - the shittiest chef among them could cook circles around the best (I could really use another word for chef or cook here. Thesaurus.com is being completely unhelpful) person in "Hell's Kitchen". Clearly Richard is the one to beat but I think Stephanie and Dale are both strong candidates and Lisa (even though she has a really bad attitude) is starting to look like a dark horse.

You know why else I think "Top Chef" is better? Ted Allen and Tom Colicchio. Padma and Gail aren't bad either. Plus they have great guest judges: Anthony Bourdain, Ming Tsai, Wylie Dufrense, and Sam Talbot, That's right. Sam from season two came back. That man is so my boyfriend.

"Top Chef" is just a well done show. (Get it? Well done? Cooking show? Heh.) Even the contestants that drive you crazy are good chefs. (I'm looking at you Andrew.) Bravo, Bravo.

So my advice to "Hell's Kitchen" (besides trying to get Sam on their show) is to cast people that are good instead of people who they think will make good tv. Sure, I'm still watching it, but I probably wouldn't if I didn't have a DVR. Why wouldn't you cast good cooks on a cooking show? You already have Gordon Ramsay to create the drama but even though he is totally hot he can only yell about the risotto and Wellington (Do people really still eat beef Wellington?) so many times before I get bored and start watching the reruns of "Project Runway". Again.
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Please visit Sarah over at Sarah And The Goon Squad