Pass The Flowers And The Massage Oil: This Weekend In Romance

By my count, there was one wedding this past weekend, one rumored engagement (and then disavowal of rumor) and one poolside half-naked celebrity frolic. Not the steamiest weekend ever, but hey - it was Mothers Day, and most of us were busy making sure that our maternity pants didn't creep down our butts while we partook of buffet nosh, rather than being wooed or slathered in suntan lotion. Or both.

The Wedding: George Dubya's little girl, Jenna Bush, to some guy. Which, wow. Doesn't it seem like just yesterday that she was using fake ID to buy liquor and sticking her tongue out at photographers? She done growed up! No word on whether it was an open bar, but let's assume so.

The Engagement: Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson. Confirmed, and then denied. YAWN.

The Half-Naked Poolside Frolic: Jennifer Aniston and John 'I Can Has Borat Thong' Mayer. Is it just me, or is Jennifer pretty much never photographed anywhere anymore but poolside, in a bikini? I mean, I thought that slathering one's self in oil and baking in the sun was, like, so dead as a lifestyle trend. You know, what with the sun shooting skin-cancer lasers through those big holes in the ozone at us and all. Still, it does make for a fun backdrop to romahnce: if you're going to get all licky-tonguey smoochy-faced with your new boyfriend and make your ex-husband jealous, you might as well do it in a bikini while slicked-up in baby oil, no?

And if the whole jealousy angle doesn't work, well, at least you've given some of us something to distract us from worrying about whether our maternity pants show too much butt crack.

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