Did the Bratz Dolls get ahold of Strawberry Shortcake?

I firmly believe that toy manufacturers will not be happy until they skank up every last vestige of our priceless innocence. Take for instance, the remake of Strawberry Shortcake, which, along with Rainbow Brite (the original Tank Girl) was a staple of every girl’s toy collection in the 1980s. 

(I myself had several Strawberry Shortcakes in various sizes, and they smelled like something fruity, not really strawberries, but awesome nonetheless.) 

American Greetings, Shortcake’s owner, deemed her “out of touch” with today’s “modern girl”  and revamped her, heavy on the "vamp." Strawberry Shortcake used to eat gumdrops, had a cat, some kickin’ hair, au naturale freckles, and had to cutest little ruffled britches EVER. 

In an attempt to instill neurosis in children regarding weight, materialism, and sexuality, Strawberry Shortcake now has flat-iorned hair, her freckles are covered up by a pound of makeup, she wears green contacts, and she got a nose job. Gone are the cute bloomers – those were replaced by camel-toe high-waisters. She doesn’t eat gumdrops anymore, she eats fruit and she has a cellphone. You know, to call up Blueberry Muffin and talk smack about Raspberry Tart. She’s also PINK. I don’t know what sort of strawberries they’re eating up there in American Greetings land, but strawberries are RED. Not HOT PINK. She looks like the Bratz Dolls gave her a makeover. Granted, the skank isn’t as … severe as that of the Bratz, but still. The difference is quite notable, don’t you think?

The only upgrade is that now she has actual hands with fingers; the original Strawberry Shortcake had only flesh mittens. (Or meat mittens, which would be an amazing metal band name.)

American Greetings ruined Strawberry Shortcake. She was kooky before, a Pipi Longstocking character who wasn’t afraid to literally let her seams show. Her cat, Custard, had a seam up its face, for crying out loud. Now she’s no different from the multitude of other shiny plastic, airbrushed faces staring from the toy store shelves like some plastic Children of the Corn collection.

Sad.

Comments

[Amie]

They started changing her image a few years ago, and it bugged the crap out of me then. I keep expecting them to come out with a version that has boobs and a bra.

[veronica]

Agreed...very sad :(

[Liana]

Boooo. :( I'm so sick of all this crap. Let little girls be little girls, with freckles and yarn hair and seams and britches, for Heaven's sake! Agh.

[Liana]

And...and...WHY did they change the red into PINK?????? Grargh.

[veronica]

What I don't get is why they had to take the redesign quite that far? I of course had to do some reserach and found a 'modernized' version that isn't nearly as bad as the one above.

http://www.agkidzone.com/meet_strawberry.action

She still has the cute button nose, brown eyes, and freckles...and although not the ringlets she originally had, it's a "cute girly, non-divaish" hairstyle....sigh.

[mommypie]

Sickening.

[brianna]

Wonder what they to the Purple Pieman of Porcupine Peak? Ra-ta ta-ta-tah!

lol. I used to LOVE strawberry shortcake! So yeah, the above is atrocious.

[marymuses]

They have destroyed my favorite childhood character! I LOVED Strawberry Shortcake as a child, so much so that when I got my Strawberry Shortcake bedding on my canopy bed, I laid awake smiling, thinking, "I am the luckiest girl IN THE WHOLE WORLD!" I would not feel like the luckiest girl in the whole world if this piece of trash were staring back at me from my pillowcase.

Ick.

[Sunny]

I remember when I dressed up as Strawberry Shortcake for halloween when I was 7, sadly, my Daughter won't look old enough to do the same until she is 17.

[sils]

NOOOOOO! No.

NO.

[Queenie]

And where's Custard the Cat?
WHERE'S CUSTARD, YOU CHEEZY BASTAAAAARDS????

[ShamelessAddict]

i want to cry.

[Belle M]

Oh the Humanity.
:-(

I saved my dolls from when i was a kid, and THAT is what my daughter will get when shes ready to play with dolls.

::sigh::

[rednexmama]

OK, she doesn't have yarn hair, and is pretty clearly not so much the "doll-alive" she once was... But vampy? Mmmm, not so much. C'mon you guys, yes she's different from the original but they did NOT tramp her up... K, maybe they should have kept her freckles, but why are brown eyes better than green? And granted they should have kept more red than pink, but the goofy hat, bloomers, cutesy shoes, and striped tights are all still there. Have you SEEN a Bratz doll?!?! I'm all for keeping things innocent, but overreaction, much?

[tracy]

As a freckle-faced redhead child of the 80s, I am so saddened by this. Granted, I hated my freckles when I was little, but embrace them now and even dressed as stawberry shortcake for halloween many years ago in college. Sad.

[michele]

sadness. no. very very sad. must hate them now.

[Sarah]

It's not so much that they made her vampy. It's that they changed her at all. She was amazing and fun and wonderfully unique...and now...just like all the other commercialized crap toys. So sad. I used to love her and just like everyone else I wonder what the hey they're going to do with the rest of the characters.

[Dani]

A little piece of my soul dies every time something from my childhood is "modernized." Maybe I'm overreacting, but why can't they just leave the icons alone? I mean, have you seen Holly Hobbie lately? Holy crap!

[Sils]

How do you modernize Holly Hobbie? Isn't that kind of... missing the point? I'm scared to google.

[Wallydraigle]

I don't know why, but "flesh mittens" is the funniest thing I've heard all day.

Yes, I DID spend the day taping my walls and painting. Why do you ask?

[rockle]

wh ... wha ... i'm afraid to ask, but ... WHAT DID THEY DO TO RAINBOW BRITE? like Sils, i am scared to google.

not fond of this updated version of strawberry shortcake. which is kind of ok with me, i guess, because i hope my daughter prefers legos anyway. is that wrong?

also: is it normal for bratz dolls to always be naked? i appear to have inherited a coven of them, and not a one of them has any damn clothes. ennh?

[rednexmama]

I am now officially referring to all groupings of Bratz or otherwise tramperiffic dollies as "covens"!!! Faboo!

[Julie]

I gave my 3 year old daughter an old Strawberry Shortcake and a new one and she would much rather play with the old one. It might be because she can take the clothes off more easily. I think she likes the look of the old one too. Now I can't find any that won't cost me a fortune. I hope they come out with replicas of the 1979 dolls. I'm sad she won't have the awesome dolls that I had.

[brightbite]

I think what bothers me more than the new look of Strawberry is her new personality. It seems rather arrogant and fake, and not caring and sensitive like the Strawberry I grew up with.

[K.M]

I couldn't agree more. I don't want my five year old acting like a fifteen year old. They have ruined the innocence of what Strawberry Shortcake ever had. I feel now she is no different from any other dolls out there, just not unique anymore.