Lindsay Lohan's Breasts Want You To Buy Stuff
While her mother Dina continues to milk her daughter's increasingly dubious celebrity for all it's worth on what is possibly the worst reality television program ever made (it makes Paradise Hotel look socially and morally redeeming, BELIEVE ME), Lindsay Lohan recently decided that now might be the right time to (again) go topless. Better still? Howsabout going topless in support of THE SCOURGE OF CREDIT CARD DEBT? YEEHAW!
Okay, so to be fair the premise for these photos is cloaked in a superficial coating of charity, as they're for the 2008 UK Visa Swap, a charitable campaign run by the credit card in which "Lindsay will encourage the UK to swap their unwanted clothes at the world’s biggest and most popular fashion swapping event," OH WHATEVS. Bottomline, it's still working for a credit card, which equals The Man, which equals keeping the proletariat down, which equals PURE EEEEVIL. CHARITY? Oh come now, let's not be coy.
And there you have, in sum, a paragraph encompassing all I learned from my Marxist Theory course in graduate school. Glad I could be of help.
You know what you need to do? BUY MORE STUFF. Even if you don't have the money. STUFF GUD.
And while you're out buying crap, could you pick me up some pants? And maybe a new Mom? Thanks!
If you liked this post, please support us by sharing it:
« Did the Bratz Dolls get ahold of Strawberry Shortcake? | Main | From the YOU DON'T SAY Files: Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards Fighting »
I have the urge to flip the hem of her skirt down. Perhaps to make it 1/4 of an inch longer?
Posted by: Kate | June 12, 2008 at 12:03 PM
Why is she mad at me? Am I not buying enough Stuff?
Posted by: JennyM | June 12, 2008 at 12:15 PM
Dear Lindsay: PUT ON PANTS. AND A BRA. kthxbye.
Posted by: Her Bad Mother | June 12, 2008 at 12:23 PM
She looks so cranky. Unfurrow that brow, sweetie. Think of the wrinkles!
Posted by: Kim S. | June 12, 2008 at 01:19 PM
So now having invisible no lips is the in thing? I can't keep up.
Posted by: Peeved Michelle | June 12, 2008 at 01:44 PM
I would love to see Tyra rip into her on ANTM...you know how she always blasts those poor girls for having the same look? That would be awesome. Seriously, is it the drugs? Her face doesn't change at all from one picture to the next. It's creepy.
Posted by: christina | June 12, 2008 at 01:46 PM
Why does she always look pissed off? Or maybe she is just confused...
Posted by: Anna | June 12, 2008 at 01:53 PM
You just used the word "proletariat". AWESOME!
Posted by: Alex | June 12, 2008 at 02:29 PM
Kim S. that's exactly what I thought! That and the fact that the whole outfit,pose and look in the first picture does absolutely nothing for her.
Posted by: Sarah | June 12, 2008 at 07:30 PM
What's she so effin mad about? Is she upset she won't be able to steal that coat when she leaves or what?
Posted by: Kelly | June 12, 2008 at 08:20 PM
i can't focus on her expression in her first picture because won't somebody PLEASE pull down her skirt just a little bit? so she doesn't look like she forgot that it should sit maybe on her hipline instead of above her belly button?
Posted by: rachel | June 12, 2008 at 08:26 PM
Dear Lindz: Twas not I who pilfered your pants, took your trousers, knicked your knickers. Kindly stop scowling at me.
Posted by: missbanshee | June 12, 2008 at 11:11 PM
Sweet baby jebus, I thought MY legs were pale.
Lindsay. Listen to me. It's not your fault. You were gingered at birth. Please take a lesson from Nicole Kidman and remain a redhead. Blonde makes you look even sluttier than you actually are (can that be?) and dark hair makes you look recently exhumed.
Srsly, girl, you look like Elvira, backstage, pre-taping, before she put on her makeup. Or maybe a negative of Donatella Versace.
Posted by: Poppy Buxom | June 13, 2008 at 02:30 AM