Friday Eye Candy: In Which I Just Spew Out A Grab Bag Of Girlhood Crushes

So I had this awesome plan for today's Eye Candy - Boys I've Loved, which was going to be a compendium of 80's teen idols and other beauties from my youth. But then I realized that I didn't really go for teen idols, which, you know, gets in the way of finding a bunch to present as Eye Candy and, also, my daughter got sick and we had to go to the doctor and my brain kinda snapped and so I was all, like, how do I save this post? To which my inner self replied, well, duh, they don't have to be teen idols, right? Eff that Kirk Cameron sh*t.

So here goes - my (mostly) non-teen-idolly bag of yumsters that I adored in my girlhood:

Luke Skywalker did nothing for me. Bring me Han Solo!

 

Ponyboy from The Outsiders. It was obvious, even early on, that Tom Cruise was a dimwit freak show. I wanted Ponyboy, bad.

Did I have a thing for Harrison Ford? Hell yeah I did.

Tony from Witch Mountain. He had, like, freckles and could move stuff with his harmonica. I loved him, for serious.

Yeah, I don't even quite understand this one myself. I just remember feeling all warm and fuzzy whenever Bob hit the Street. (Young Bob, though. Not older Bob. And looking back on it now, it's like totally obvious that Luis was hotter, but I didn't appreciate that when I was eight.)

Okay, this is like totally weird, I KNOW, and all you Freudians and Jungians out there will have a field day with this one but I stand by it. Maybe it was the freckles (cf. Tony the witch above), maybe it was the ability to fly, but I seriously jonesed for Peter Pan. Also, Capt. Hook, but only a little bit, in my darker nine-year-old moments.

(I'm thinking that there needs to be an Eye Candy: Animated Hotties Edition.)

(Is that weird?)

(Cancel that question. This whole list was weird.)

(Was it? Who would YOU add? Come on. I know you're all freaky like that.)

(Also, did you miss Hot Uglies last week? Because you were, like, watching fireworks and shit? Check it.)

(Done now. Parentheses are so played.)