In Case You Were Wondering, CNN's Glenn Beck is Still an Asshat

That giant smirking head currently ruining your visual landscape is Glenn Beck, horrible person and host of a really awful show on CNN (a state of affairs which makes a lot of people at CNN guilty of asshatery, too, by the way, because he really should not have a job).  He also pontificates on CNN's website, where this morning he posted the highly newsworthy observation that Che Guevara t-shirts are for terrorists.

No, really.  Riffing in this post off an interview by a CNN coworker of three former captives of FARC, Beck makes the completely bizarre assertion that THE reason that the Colombian Army was able to infiltrate FARC and ultimately rescue the hostages was... they were wearing Che shirts.  He then begins furiously extrapolating all over the page, working himself into a frenzy that culminates in this specious and utterly nonsensical climax (which he has so obviously been dying to unleash on us for ages):

That's right, the same T-shirts you see Hollywood celebrities, starving pseudo-artists and confused hipster teens wearing around local coffee shops. To all those who decide that you want to be coffee house communist-chic, remember this: When you are wearing a Che T-shirt, you're wearing the same shirt that makes terrorists believe you're just one of the gang. I hope that latte is tasty.

Why thank you, Glenn, my latte is delicious, actually.  But also, what?!  Just... never even mind the rest of the piece, which is insulting not because Beck lambastes Guevara (who certainly left some room for people to criticize him) but because he's so rabid that he neglects to consider that at least a few of CNN's readers might be educated enough to know that he's full of shit.  Just focusing on this one snippet, I am not sure whether I want to die laughing or smack Beck upside the head.

I stuck my Che shirt in a drawer several years ago and now only wear it on laundry days.  This is because I don't want to be mistaken for someone who has never read a word of ol' Ernesto's writings or considered them critically, which is the crowd you're really blending in with when you sport a shirt with his beret-ed head on it.  That isn't to say I have changed my mind about him and grown out of my admiration as was predicted by my grandfather the first time I smart-assedly wore that shirt to a family event.  I just spent a lot of years attending protests organized by undergrad socialists and found the people with Guevara faces on their chests kind of hilarious.  Not TERRORISTIC, but amusing in a way I don't like to be amusing.  Case in point: one of these people once asked me what I was majoring in.  I told him I wasn't in school anymore (I'd dropped out a few years before), and he said, wide-eyed, "Ohhhhhhhhhh, so you're a worker.  Awesome."  Like he'd never seen one before.  It was great in a way that I couldn't appreciate that particular day, since on that particular day I'd left the house at 5 a.m. - having not slept in almost 24 hours - to participate in this action, and so I was exhausted and cranky and just kind of wanted to set him on fire.

But I digress.  I actually have worried from time to time that wearing the shirt would bring me woe in the form of some mouth-breathing troglodyte mistaking me for a terrorist, GLENN.  I think if my kid were walking out the door in a Che shirt (unlikely unless they start making them in pink with sparkles - DON'T GET ANY IDEAS), I'd ask her to be on the lookout for overzealous cops and people with Texas license plates and gun racks.  And I'd give her a heads up that someone was likely to say something stupid to her - negative or positive, you never know. 

However.  If I wanted to infiltrate a "terrorist" group in hopes of rescuing hostages, I'm thinking that while I'd probably dress in a way that wouldn't out me as a member of the Colombian Army, I would ALSO do some other things.  Like learn about their organizational structure, pick up on the lingo, make a few friends.  Because I'm not an idiot, and clearly the members of the Colombian Army who found these hostages aren't either.  Glenn Beck is so frothing-at-the-mouth excited to talk some shit about a bunch of harmless, goofball American kids that he actually insulted the soldiers whose asses he was attempting to sniff in the process.

Comments

[BaltimoreGal]

Hmmm. I read that they used the symbol for The Red Cross to get in, too. That must mean The Red Cross is communist! It is red...

[disnazzio]

OMG, my mom did some volunteer nursing with the Red Cross, does this mean she's actually trying to infiltrate a terrorist group??????????????

[michele]

i agree, he and cnn are asshats.

[alana]

funniest thing is he was an ENTERTAINMENT radio dj on my local station a few years back he has no basis for doing the show he does now

[Paul Thoreau]

Good post.

I think that Glenn Beck Must Have A Hole In His Head and that his CNN article requires some Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes.

[Jorge Anderson]

"Che's life is an inspiration for every human being who loves freedom. We will always honor his memory."

~ Nelson Mandela

This article (like much of college dropout Beck's tirades) is stupefyingly idiotic and historically inaccurate.

First some facts: (1) Che was named one of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century by Time Magazine, (2) Che's famous image entitled: "Guerrillero Heroico" has been declared the most famous and reproduced image in the world, (3) Che Guevara is prayed to as "Saint Ernesto" in Bolivia and seen as an equal figure to Christ and the Virgin Mary by rural campesinos, (4) In September of 2007, Che was also voted "Argentina's greatest historical and political figure", and they just last month erected a giant statue of him in Rosario, (5) In Argentina schools are named after Che, (6) In Cuba, Che is on the 3 dollar Peso, and school children begin every morning reciting "we will be like Che".

Furthermore, (7) Che oversaw the revolutionary tribunals of convicted War criminals from the U.$. Supported Batista dictatorship. These rapists, torturers, and goons ran Batista's dungeons and killed 20,000 people. Che simply reviewed the appeals of those sentenced to death. A decision supported by 93 % of Cubans at the time. (8) Cuba under Batista was a Mafia ran casino and hooker haven for American tourists, where US companies owned 70 % of the arable land. This is the context that Fidel and Che rose to power in. (9) Che's radicalism was spawned from living in Guatemala during the 1953 overthrow of Jacobo Arbenz by the CIA at the behest of the United Fruit Co. (10) Later, U.S. Imperialism would follow this practice up by overthrowing Mossadeq, Allende etc and propping up Brutal dictators like the Shah, Suharto, Marcos, Pinochet, and Saddam Hussien (Just like they did with Batista).

“Che is not only an intellectual, he was the most complete human being of our time – our era’s most perfect man.”

~ Jean Paul Sartre, renown philosopher and author who knew him

[jane]

I just don't get the whole "You're wearing a t-shirt that is offensive to me; therefore you are a bad American" argument. I mean, Glenn exercises his First Amendment right to say things that make him sound ignorant (and annoying) all the time.

You know Glenn, attacking freedom of expression and dictating what people should wear might help you fit in with terrorists too.

[Kim]

If you knew anything about Glenn Beck, you wouldn't be so quick with this knee-jerk reaction. But like he says, liberals will always be the first ones to name call and insult anyone who doesn't agree with them. He loves when people say stuff like this about him though and believe me, is laughing at you all the way to the bank. Asshat - how original!

[b]

Glenn Beck purposely makes those types of comments to incite reactions like this post. I don't listen to him usually, but when I catch him I am usually rolling my eyes KNOWING people all over the country are irate that he is making the assertions he makes. He's like a pesky older brother who knows what buttons to push.

Anyway, Che was an asshole of the first degree. Communism as political system does nothing but gives fewer people power over the masses. Communism as a moral lifestyle can work however if one has no power to gain.

[AmandaB]

I think he just wants people to think, and make informed decisions about who they support politically. Not many college students today do that - not many Hollywood types do either. I don't care for him much, especially after he went on a five minute rant against a children's TV show. (veggie tales) I think he may have too much time on his hands.

[Steve]

Kim- if it looks like an asshat, and talks like an asshat, and says stupid stuff every single day like an asshat, then its probably an asshat. The fact that Glenn Beck not only has a job but actually has loyal "followers" who agree with his nuttery makes me weep for the fate of our nation.

[loren]

hi, sounds like there are some folks who dont like glenn beck, well we do, we were just wanting to know, where is his show that we watched every evening on cnn? we get lou dobbs 2 times now on evening cnn? can someone tell me if his show has moved to another channel, or what? thanks.